I notice that men are who they are and have a take i or leave it attitude, while women kinda coform to fit the needs of others.. this is just my general observation... its like a man will just do what he dam well pleases and u either deal with it, or change how YOU VIEW what hes doing... every article i read is on how to deal with ur man, how to talk to your man so he'll listen..yet u go into a mans mag and its car, sports, beer and naked chicks...
so do you find urself happy with who you are and try not to let other pples judgements sway ur personality?
nov04LIbride
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Re: Do you make excuses for who you are?
My DH and I are very, very different. We both help each other--he makes me more laid back, live more in the moment, and I try to help him more with long-term goals, savings, etc.
I am happy with who I am, but I know there are things I can change, and would like to change for myself, not for anyone else...
cocoa
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Re: Do you make excuses for who you are?
i know what you mean about the take it and leave it attitude. 'here, take my mess...but hey, your stuff is everywhere! ' 'i'm sorry i am angry and taking it all out on you, but hey, what bug is up your a$$?'' you mean THAT attitude??? yeah, i think women conform a wholllle lot!!! see the post regarding changing your so's habits...don and dj pill admit they won't change their bad habits. gotta love men!
LoriH
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Re: Do you make excuses for who you are?
Posted by nov04LIbride
My DH and I are very, very different. We both help each other--he makes me more laid back, live more in the moment, and I try to help him more with long-term goals, savings, etc.
This explains FH and I also. We are the best of friends and complete equals. We balance each other really well.
In past relationships, I did find myself doing this occasionally. And I hated the way it made me feel. I knew I needed something different and luckily I found the perfect relationship for me.
Kathy116
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Re: Do you make excuses for who you are?
I actually started the post about the annoying habit...I didn't mean 'how did you change your DH's personality' and I followed it up with how has our DHs changed one of our annoying habits... meaning, when in a relationship, there is compromise, on both ends...both men and women.
I understand your point, when looking at friendships, it appears men are less nurturing, and have a more take it or leave it attitude...but when I look at the couples I know...the men are definately not Take it or leave it...I see more compromise on their part then on the women's part..I guess it's because I have a lot of super strong women friends (this is not necessarily good for a marriage).
I'm not sure where I'm going with this...
usuk2004
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Re: Do you make excuses for who you are?
This is going to sound really sad, but I think that the person I make the most excuses to is myself. I think it's really hard to be as good as you want to be...
But, as far as changign for anyone...I think not just living with someone, but actually sharing your life with someone, really makes you focus on your strengths and weaknesses. I try to listen to criticism - which, incidentally mostly comes from my DH or my mother - and learn from it, whether it's something I want to change or not. One of DH's biggest gripes is that he feels he can't criticize me without me blowing up...I'm not sure about that, but at the same time, there are things that I'm not going to change for him - little things, like snacking before dinner or cracking my gum, that drive him crazy. But my thoughts on them are that I'm not a child and if I want to, I will.
RedHead
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Re: Do you make excuses for who you are?
I think i am generally happy with who i am but things do need to be changed as well...I don't think anyone is perfect and there is always room for improvement..To be kinder, more patient, less judgemental....
Nobody has tried to chenge me yet...But that doesn't mean there aren't things needed to be chenged!
Butterflybride
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Re: Do you make excuses for who you are?
I used to be completely different. I used to change my personality according to who I was speaking with, just so they'd like me. I thought I'd be a happier person if everybody liked me. No matter what though, not everybody's going to like you. I'm finally at a point in my life where I'm happy with who I am. I act the same towards everybody and I don't really care if people like me or not. I'm happier being me.
usuk2004
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Member since
Re: Do you make excuses for who you are?
Posted by LoriH
Posted by nov04LIbride
My DH and I are very, very different. We both help each other--he makes me more laid back, live more in the moment, and I try to help him more with long-term goals, savings, etc.
This explains FH and I also. We are the best of friends and complete equals. We balance each other really well.
In past relationships, I did find myself doing this occasionally. And I hated the way it made me feel. I knew I needed something different and luckily I found the perfect relationship for me.
Oh, I agree. The same guy who made me feel 'exhausted' when we broke up, also made me feel worthless when we were dating. some nights we wouldn't see each other because it was 'too far' to drive. I'm sorry, but it should never, ever be difficult to see someoen that you really want to. I made a ton of excuses for him to my friends and family, but in the end, the relationship just wasnt' worth my effort. I wasn't getting anything back. And yes, after that, like many other girls here, I took some time to work on myself. to learn a lot of stuff about myself and what I was looking for. And, like magic, when I was ready I found the perfect guy - I wasn't even looking for him.
