Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

Original post by JNMWineBride

May 03, 2006 10:37 PM

During the part of the wedding ceremony - General Intentions/Prayer of the Faithful - when you ask to bless the president, pope, etc...and 'remember those who are no longer with us' - do you plan on naming deceased family and friends or just keeping it general?

Also, if we're thinking of naming people, how many is too many?? I think we'll have about 10 or so.

CherylandCliff Posted: May 04, 2006 04:36 PM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

We did not get specific during the Prayer of the Faithful because we thought it would be toohard on the familes since FIL dies 4 months before the wedding and my G'ma 2 months before him. We did have an 'in memory of' section in our programs that spoke of them. HTH!

meniasta Posted: May 04, 2006 04:45 PM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

After the ceremony in the church we are going to the cemetery where my father is buried and pray for like 10 min and then go for pictures..

waterspout4 Posted: May 04, 2006 06:37 PM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

We had ours named during the mass and we had about 10 people too. We also put them on the back page of the program.

PaddysGirl15 Posted: May 05, 2006 06:37 AM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

I am going to have a memorial candle that I am lighting for my father and my grandmother.

DizzyGinger Posted: May 05, 2006 08:13 AM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

I'm going to have my wedding video made 'in memory of' my grandfather, with a photo montage of him, some with me as a baby. Makes me wanna cry just thinking about it.

pigs222seal Posted: May 05, 2006 08:27 AM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

Posted by TreAnt425

We are just going to have a memorial candle burning at the reception with pictures of all those who passed away.

We are doing the same thing!

Goldi1021 Posted: May 05, 2006 08:29 AM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

I lost my father just a few months before our wedding. The pain of his passing was still quite fresh (still is today) and we felt that by mentioning his name during the service or having a table with candles would be too intense for the family who is still in mourning. (The Jewish period of mourning is 11 months). Jewish custom also dictates that if a wedding or other happy occasion is planned before a death, the happiness ALWAYS comes before the sadness. We also knew that my father would not have wanted the day to be about sadness, but happiness. He was there in many ways without his name being mentioned. His photo was on my bouquet and his name was on the last page of our program. There was no way for him to be forgotten.

sarahradio5 Posted: May 05, 2006 10:31 AM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

Posted by Montegin05

I was actually thinking of that today, as one of my aunts is in hospice out in Melville and my other aunt died on X-mass of this year.....i was thinking of giving my uncles a rose or something in remembrance of my aunts during the ceremony?

I was going to do this during the ceremony for my FH's dad and my grandmother, but my mom thinks it's too much for a happy day. So, I may have a remembrance candle lit, and whoever is reading the remembrance prayer will also say something like 'in whose names the bride and groom have lit the remembrance candle'.

I think it's enough to be respectful and include them in our ceremony, without depressing everyone who might miss them.

MissingTheBGene Posted: May 05, 2006 10:33 AM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

I originally never thought of it until I was asked by FILs to include, so we will be naming.

TeeSee81 Posted: May 05, 2006 10:50 AM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

FH and I talkied about doing a song for memory for the ones who passed that couldnt be here but are watching down on us. I thought of it cause i was very close to my grandfather and his grandma just pass a few mos ago.

nygirl77 Posted: May 05, 2006 10:54 AM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

When I originally started thinking about this - the list was soooo long. So then I figured I would just mention grandparents and keep it at that. But now FH's parents want us to mention his uncle. I feel like if his uncle is mentioned, then how can I leave out others. I may just keep it general now - I don't want anyone to be offended.

kase21 Posted: May 05, 2006 11:00 AM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

I'm not naming people as to avoid offending anyone. There were some family members who passed that I didn't really know or wasn't close to, and I would hate to have my grandmother (or anyone) get upset that I left out an uncle i didn't know, but mentioned an aunt I was close to.. etc.

I'm keeping it general.

smurray Posted: May 05, 2006 12:00 PM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

I didn't plan on mentioning them, but I planned on having a moment of silence during the ceremony for them. As well as the greeting tables w/ the place cards we'll be having pics of them acomplishing something in life before they past. Eg; My cousins college graduation, and my uncles wedding pic, and FH's great grandmothers nursing cermony pic

R&J0806 Posted: May 05, 2006 12:16 PM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

no because it will make me cry.

kissy27 Posted: May 05, 2006 12:21 PM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

we mentioned specific names

stlmn2u Posted: May 05, 2006 10:48 PM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

I would like to mention names and I will also have a candle 'IN Memory of' at the reception hall....

2Be1 Posted: May 05, 2006 11:00 PM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

We will be using the 'empty chair technique' for FH's mother and my grandmother.

SeptBride70 Posted: May 05, 2006 11:50 PM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

hmm, i'm not sure about naming them but i'm going to have a vase or candle with their names on it... and i'm definitely having a chair open with a ring of flowers on it for my friend kenny so he has a spot... but that's it, i'm thinking it might be too upsetting to start naming them-- but i never actually thought about it before...

i don't think 10 is 'too much', i mean you are trying to show respect and love for people that have passed on.

HTH and good luck

CC59 Posted: May 06, 2006 08:53 AM

Re: Do you plan on naming people close to you that have died?

We're going to include in during the prayer of the faithful...remembering all loved ones who have passed, especially.......

That way, we're remembering everybody, but naming the few that we were closest too