DH keeps teling me he is dreading the holidays because he hates how every year we hop from house to house visiting family-I hate that he feels this way it should be a happy time not something you dread. I kinda hate it too because we never get to relax and you can forget about drinking when you know soon you will have to leave. But at the same time I feel bad not spending the holidays with my side of the family or choosing favorites. So my question is how do you decide this? Do you spend one major holiday with his side one year and the next spend it with my side? I wish we could just have family come to us but we are upstate. MIL expects us to spend all holidays with his side which I think is totally unfair.
VickiC
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Re: Do you Share Holidays
We alternate. I refuse to go house hopping - it's too stressful and time consuming. I don't need to clock watch constantly.
We spend Thanksgiving at my parents, and his family does a big leftovers day on Friday so that worked out for us.
We alternate Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with the families. This year it's my IL's for Eve and my family for Day.
Easter is usually with my family, and my IL's come by too and I think they'll be staying for dinner this year too.
This is what seems to work best for us, so maybe it's something you can work out too.
julybride44
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Re: Do you Share Holidays
We trade off, but we actually always do Xmas with his family. His brother comes home only at Christmas, and my family lives a ways away, so it makes sense to spend Xmas with his fam. Besides, I hate waking up in someone else's house on Xmas, I want to be in my own bed.
nov04LIbride
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Re: Do you Share Holidays
Ugh, I hate sharing holidays! We usually wind up sharing them, but it means driving from Suffolk to Queens in traffic that is inevitably awful.
We spend xmas morning/lunch with his family, afternoon and night with mine. Thanksgiving we alternate...Easter we split.
diluvchu
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We do the whole house hopping thing for the holidays and it stinks! No one is ever satisfied. Each family wants more time with us or we feel like we didn't spend enough time with 1 family. We split all the big holidays(Easter, Christmas and Thanksgiving) 50/50. It's a huge pain! But I figure that once we are married, we can have the holidays at our house and make everyone come to us.
DebsNY
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Re: Do you Share Holidays
we're going to share
thanksgiving: his dad christmas eve: his mom christmas: my mom easter: my dad
although this year my dad is getting thanksgiving too because we're going to be in NY the weekend before for a wedding... and i have report cards due on the Wednesday before thanksgiving, I'd never be able to get it all done if we had to drive, or catch a flight.
Goldi1021
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Re: Do you Share Holidays
Jewish holidays often have more than one day so they are easy to celebrate.
Rosh Hashanah - 1st Night his family, 2nd Night mine
Yom Kippur the night before we are on our own and the night we break fast, this year, BOTH families will meet.
Passover - same deal as RH.
Chanukah is easily split but often prolonged if the weekend during the holiday is on a weekend that my brother does not have his girls.
Thanksgiving is alternated from year to year depending on where my neices are the year before.
Fortunately we all understand the needs of extended families.
AndreaES
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Re: Do you Share Holidays
Thanksgiving I have at my house and my Mom & Grandma come for dinner, and FI's family join us for dessert
Christmas Eve- We all go to his parents house(my family included) even though my Mom is not a big fan!!
Christmas is at my house
We try not to go all over we have a young son.
wendy1220
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Re: Do you Share Holidays
No because the future in-laws don't live here but if they did we'd probably split it up. We wouldn't like running from house to house, too hectic and you don't get to enjoy the day.
evnme
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we do the meal w/ 1 family and dessert w/ another. we switch each year. but on the jewish holidays- i work so we dont have issues w/ those meals.
DanaMZ
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We try to do the house hopping thing too, but our families are all over the place...LI, NJ and Westchester (my parents are divorced). Last Thanksgiving, we had dinner in LI then did dessert in NJ That was just crazy! we are going to have to figure something out. We cannot split ourselves three ways!
MrsA814
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Re: Do you Share Holidays
we share them but i get to pick them lol. Or we split the day up
FrogGirl0917
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we house hopped our first year and there was a MASSIVE blizzard on Christmas.....we got stuck on the southern for 2 hours!! (to go 9 exits)....after that we decided to alternate.....we do thanksgiving with one, and christmas with the other, then switch it the next year (although I don't think we're switching this year because my uncle thought it would be funny to point out to my mom that I don't know how to prepare thanksgiving....guess whos cooking this year once again it will be christmas at his family thanksgiving at mine)
Sweetd
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We do the same thing and it drives me nuts! I can't settle down and get comfortable. On top of that, I have to eat from both houses or my MIL gets pissed (she has commented before)! My MIL is getting selfish and now she wants us there all day on Thanksgiving. I told dh no way, b/c that isn't fair to my mom. If we spend all day there, we shouldn't alternate holidays then and no more half and half. I come home feeling l am going to burst! We said once we were married we wouldn't do it anymore, but we still did it last year. I hope we don't do it this year!
Preshy7
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ugh i dont even want to think about it- thinknig about it annoys me
SuzBride
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We are going to - and I am dreading it too!
His family will get Thanksgiving, and mine Easter. Christmas Day will be both, and Christmas Eve we will probably alternate.
christy
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Dh and I usually go to Disney for Christmas and spend the holiday just the two of us. I LOVE LOVE LOVE THAT! This year his mom and brother are coming too. For thanksgiving we cook a big meal at my place and my siblings come over, then on Thanksgiving we go to his family. I dont see my relatives much. So, his family gets most holidays. However, when I have a house and babies everything will be at my house.
Jan05Bride
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Re: Do you Share Holidays
We don't holiday hop at all. We both hate it and refuse to do it. We split them up evenly between three sides of the family (my mom's side, my dad's side and DH's side) DH doesn't have 2 sides, his dad was an only child and we don't celebrate with the dad's extended cousins & such now that he is gone.
For things like Mother's day we will sometime hop ... like do breakfast with one, dinner with another or soemtimes we all get together to celebrate.
97bride
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Re: Do you Share Holidays
We used to house hop until we had kids. Now we alternate.
july06bride
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we share, but my parents come with me/us when we are with hsi family and his family is always welcome to my house with my family...
this year thanksgiving with my family christmas eve or christmas at our house and the opposite at his parents, but my parents will be there (i am an only child and most of the extended family is out of state and I will not let my parents be alone on a holiday and our families get along really well)
Easter his family, just cause it is easier since it is on a sunday and there is work the next day
