Do you tell your friends when their actions hurt you?
michele31
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Do you tell your friends when their actions hurt you?
Thought I would throw-out a question of the day. When a friend does or says someething that upsets you are you honest about it or just try to forget about it? How do you handle conflict with friends?
janatlantica
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Re: Do you tell your friends when their actions hurt you?
After many years of surpressing my own feelings, I now try not to hold anything in regarding friends unless there are special circumstances. I think if you've been hurt, and you don't let the other person know, it leads to resentment down the line. If its only little stuff though, I say don't sweat it.
Diane
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Re: Do you tell your friends when their actions hurt you?
It really depends on who it is. If it is a close friend I will confront them.
Nanjoe
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Re: Do you tell your friends when their actions hurt you?
I try to discuss it right away or it eats at me like crazy!!!! But it also depends on how much it effects me. Some things I can just blow past, others I cannot.
Sunny
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I am a social worker- I cannot keep my mouth shut!
WithThisRing
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It depends on the situation and friend. My best friend who I love very dearly if she said something to upset me I would tell her but we know each other so well we usually know what hurts the other. But we are both very honest with each other.
In college the girls I was ok friends with, hung out with a few times or whatever if they said something to upset me I would either just let it roll off me and then later on probably send them an email or just completely let it go and forget about it.
Now adays I just let things roll off me unless I feel that an explanation is in order. Sometimes we say things that we dont mean or may come out the wrong way so I do give the other party the benefit of the doubt and let them at least have their side of the situation.
I try not to blow up or cause conflict so if something hurts me i usually just say hey look you hurt me when you said....
susans
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Re: Do you tell your friends when their actions hurt you?
If it's something that you can honestly and truly forget about, then I'd say to let it go and TRULY forget it happened. But if it's something that you feel like you might feel resentful about in the future, then it's best to let them know and deal with it now.
Re: Do you tell your friends when their actions hurt you?
I keep everything bottled up...but thats my own issue...I have been doing better with letting things go...thanks to DH's attitude...nothing bothers him or upsets him...
JennRenee
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Re: Do you tell your friends when their actions hurt you?
Not often enough, unfortunately.
Thrilled
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Yep.
DaniRN
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I do! I am a very honest, straightfoward person. If I didn't tell a friend that she upset I would hold a grudge and act different around her.
mv1003
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Re: Do you tell your friends when their actions hurt you?
If the person is really a good friend, I feel that there's not much a true friend would do that would be upsetting. My true true friends and I rarely and I mean RARELY have conflicts. However, there have been a few individuals along the way that I thought were friends & hurt me dearly. I realized, they weren't really my friends after all.
I do try not to sweat the small stuff, but if it's something that's really under the skin, bring it up, as you might be misunderstanding where the other person is coming from.??? 9 times out of 10, you'll discover that the other person had a different angle and thought completely differnt than the way you interrpreted the actions/words. make any sense?
Sonicstef
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Re: Do you tell your friends when their actions hurt you?
I only fight the battles that are worth fighting.
If a friend is not that good of a friend to begin with, its not worth my time to argue.
If a friend is a true friend, they probably didnt mean to upset me so why make a big deal of it.
When my true friends and I have a scuffle that we are both aware of, I prefer to let it go and take some time apart rather than fight to a resolution b/c I find no one ever wins in those situations.
So I guess the answer is no, i dont bring it up.
MrsTC
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I usually bring it up in a non-confrontational way. I can't hold anything in, it kills me
dkga1026
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Almost always. I can't hide my feelings so even when I don't say it, they know I'm pi$$ed!
WishCandy
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Usually... I don't hide things well - lol So, even if I tried... the person would probably know that I was pi$$ed.
Valenia
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Re: Do you tell your friends when their actions hurt you?
Boy does this question hit a raw nerve for me. My answer a year ago would have been no. I guess everyone has their limits, because last month I had to do this. Ugh. It ****s. I think that when it reaches a point where something has to be said, then your friendship is in trouble anyhow. *sighs*
Sage10.03
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I usually let it die and forget about it. But if it is something I really feel strongly about saying something.... I will bring it up after I am over it so it is in a non-confrontational manner.
And as a second to Stef's comment, if they are not a true friend and I know this, I ususally don't get upset about it in the first place.
OctBride05
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if it's something that REALLY hurt me, yes i would confront them.
Jeanene
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For me it really depends, I try to let the little things go. But sometimes I find there are things you just have to discuss - I guess I try to choose my battles wisely.
