That a close friend or relative who you never knew (officially that is)was gay all your life (even though you secretly suspected)...Now lives openly gay yet never said anything about it?
My cousin i always new was gay, even though my family never believed me. She recently bought a condo with her 'girlfriend' but never really ever came out to anyone....
She just started living the lifestyle...
Do you think this is odd?
MrsERod
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Re: Do you think it is strange...
EXTREMELY!! I have an aunt that we've ALWAYS suspected was gay, but she's never admitted it to anyone. However, she used to live with another woman for years, and even bought a house together.!! they're not together anymore, but we always suspected there was more to the story than 'just friends'
TwoBugs
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Not really. I don't see the need for a dramatic 'coming out' announcement. Especially in this case, it seems pretty obvious...
Jax430
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I would think it's unusual, but then again, we don't go announcing, 'hey, guess what, I'm straight,' either.
RedHead
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Posted by Jax430
I would think it's unusual, but then again, we don't go announcing, 'hey, guess what, I'm straight,' either.
true..BUT all i ever hear about is 'comming out' and what a stress release it is...
I guess to each their own but i still found it odd
brooklynbridezilla
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Nah, I don't think it's strange. Maybe they are afraid of announcing it officially for fear of peoples reactions?
RedHead
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Posted by brooklynbridezilla
Nah, I don't think it's strange. Maybe they are afraid of announcing it officially for fear of peoples reactions?
true
Sweetpea130000
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Re: Do you think it is strange...
My cousin did the same thing. We all suspected it, but he has never come out and said anything though he lives with his boyfriend.
I think he is afraid of my grandfather (his uncle). Why? I couldn't tell you, my grandfather couldn't care less.
heidla
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Does she still live close to her family? I know that a friend of mine who is in his late 30's just came out to his family. He has been in NYC for 15 yrs and has been living openly here, but never told his family back home.
RedHead
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Posted by heidla
Does she still live close to her family? I know that a friend of mine who is in his late 30's just came out to his family. He has been in NYC for 15 yrs and has been living openly here, but never told his family back home.
yes..she live in the city we are out in LI!
lolita4life
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nah it doesnt sound too strange to me. ive done something like that. i never 'came out' to ppl, and then one day had my (ex) GF at a party with me.
marymoon
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I dn't think you need to announce it. You just decide to live your life openly and people will find out if they didn't already know. It was like that with my cousin..we always kind of knew, but he wasn't SO open about it, then he started bringing his boyfrineds places, and I thought that was so great. MAybe he had a coming out thing with closer realtives like aprents and brothers and sisters or whatever, but I don't know..how do you even come out to your extended family. I didn't even want to call my whole family I was engaged so I sent out announcements...maybe our gay realtives should do the same
JimmysBride
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My DH's aunt did that. Never officially came out but has been living with her girlfriend for years and years. Everyone knows she's gay, but it's not really acknowledged to her or discussed. It's a little strange because SHE doesn't really acknowledge it to us but I also agree that a big dramatic 'coming out' is totally unnecessary.
lillian771
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Posted by brooklynbridezilla
Nah, I don't think it's strange. Maybe they are afraid of announcing it officially for fear of peoples reactions?
I agree with this. I strongly believe my uncle (really like a 2nd father to me) is gay, and even has had a couple of 'friends' over the years, but he's never come out. I think he's really afraid that no one would approve of him. It saddens me, and I wish I could say something to him without offending him. I would love him either way!
dpli
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Re: Do you think it is strange...
Not really. I have many gay friends and I think in some cases may come out to people they are extremely close to and that is enough for them. Other people feel that part of the coming out experience is to be very open about it. My straight friends and family are very different in how much detail they discuss with others about their relationships and sex lives. I don't think it is all that much different with gay people.
If the person knows they are loved and accepted, they just may not feel the need to discuss their sexuality or relationship in detail with everyone they know.
lolita4life
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you wouldnt want to go to EVERY single person you know and come out to them. maybe she figured you'd hear it through the grapevine. those sorts of things are usually gossiped about in a family.
eta: at least for me i wouldnt want to go around at a party and say hi to everyone and be like 'Hey Aunt Jane! Nive to see you again!By the way, I'm gay!'
emilain
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I don't think it's strange at all. Your cousin must feel very vulnerable and worreid about peoples reaction, it is easier to live in her 'personal utopia' rather than risk people's reactions which can put a damper on her life. Good luck to her! I know MANY people who are gay and who have not 'come out' but live their own lifestyle when they are in their own community.
GsCM4EVA
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Hey redhead... that's strange bc my gay cousin just bought a condo with her girlfriend!!!!!!! hmmmmmmmmmmm
Nikki10-12-03
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Posted by RedHead
That a close friend or relative who you never knew (officially that is)was gay all your life (even though you secretly suspected)...Now lives openly gay yet never said anything about it?
My cousin i always new was gay, even though my family never believed me. She recently bought a condo with her 'girlfriend' but never really ever came out to anyone....
She just started living the lifestyle...
Do you think this is odd?
OMG...it sounds like you are talking about my uncle He said he was living with his 'girlfriend' Barbara and it turned out Barbara was really Bill
StayandJohn
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I have a cousin who came out as a lesbian about 10 years ago. This cousin moved to San Fransisco a few years later....when she came back for a visit, she was becoming a HE. Beard, hairy legs, no boobies nada, and nothing was said, like this was the norm.
