do you think this is rude?

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Posted by Julybride08

One of my BM asked me to go shooping so I told her I couldn't go cause I already spent to much money this week and I am supposed to be saving for a house and all. She e-mails me back and asks me how much I am saving, How much I plan on saving and if FH is saving. But yesterday when I asked her is Her BF was getting paid for working at his uncles dealership she told me she dosen't discuss his finances with him so she don't know. But why does she want to know about mine???? She said that that is his business and they shouldn't discuss that unless there married!!!

Do you think it's rude of her to ask me then???

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Yes...it shouldnt be a double standard. It's not like ur a child and she's an adult dynamic

Yes very rude. I dont think that personal finances are anyones business unless freely shared.

Maybe she wanted to get an idea of how much she shold be saving? Why else would she ask?
how was her tone?

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Posted by ZeppsGirl

Yes very rude. I dont think that personal finances are anyones business unless freely shared.

Maybe she wanted to get an idea of how much she shold be saving? Why else would she ask?
how was her tone?

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She owns her own home. Her father died and she got the house and it's a 4 family house so she has plenty of money.

Well I hope that you can get through this with her.

Is she always this way or were you taken by surprise?

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Posted by Julybride08

She dosen't have to worry about money so she has no idea what it's like to have non and have to save. She had an american express card at 14!!!!

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Understood!

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Posted by ZeppsGirl

Well I hope that you can get through this with her.

Is she always this way or were you taken by surprise?

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Well when we first got engaged and i asked her to be a bm she started to basically plan my wedding. she would call my sis and ask her when the shower was going to be. she would want to come looking at gowns with me ( i want to do that with just me and my mom) and she would be super involved. but now that her sis is engaged she has stopped. but the finance things was out there.

I think it's rude. It' not her business...if you don't want to spend $$ that is your business. Who is she to ask whether or not FH is saving and how much.

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Posted by ZeppsGirl

Yes very rude. I dont think that personal finances are anyones business unless freely shared.

Maybe she wanted to get an idea of how much she shold be saving? Why else would she ask?
how was her tone?

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I agree

people have VERY different views on privacy when it comes to money

i would NEVER ask what anyone made, or was saving or even what they were spending on something!

but FH owns his own business and people ask me ALL THE TIME how much he makes and how much he is able to save - and now with the wedding people ask me all the time how much we make, how much our wedding is going to cost (FH and i told his family ( like cousins and stuff) that our wedding was going to cost $80K LOL they were so shocked - its a complete lie!! but it was fun to see their faces!!)

anyway - i think its very rude!

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Posted by Belongs2DanBuckley

I don't know about rude...I think its mildly retarded.....

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good point!

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Posted by ZeppsGirl

Yes very rude. I dont think that personal finances are anyones business unless freely shared.

Maybe she wanted to get an idea of how much she shold be saving? Why else would she ask?
how was her tone?

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I AGREE, im not sure if its rude or just totally inappropriate