Does Anyone Else Feel Like They're Not Allowed To Complain?
PrincessRose
Posted:
Member since
Does Anyone Else Feel Like They're Not Allowed To Complain?
I just feel like if I open my mouth about anything people will accuse me of being a Bridezilla.
Sometimes I'm even afraid to post on here for fear that the wrong people will see it.
Example: 3 out of 8 BMs won't be at Shower/Bach Party. This is not a big deal, they live far away. But I'm sad. And I can't tell them because I don't want them to feel guilty.
Also: 2 out of remaining 5 BMs are not really taking an interest in the shower. This is particularly disappointing because one of them is 'party throwing creative genius of the universe'. Now according to that BM, the work done by the other girls and my Mom is top notch, and the party will still be great. But I'm still sad that she didn't do more.
It's not even like these are MAJOR infractions - it's no big. But I'm a little sad, that's all.
And I just feel like I should just be grateful for what I get and keep my mouth shut.
nylibride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does Anyone Else Feel Like They're Not Allowed To Complain?
sorry you're feeling sad. I can relate to what you're saying in a way, though. I had a BM tell me that she wasn't making the trip (which is about 5 hours) for bridal shower b/c it's 'not worth it.' Ouch!
suven
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does Anyone Else Feel Like They're Not Allowed To Complain?
I also feel that way. But, I have taken a vow that I will treat all of these people the same way that they have treated me. When it's time for them to get married, they will get the same effort from me that they've given to me...
Monkeybride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does Anyone Else Feel Like They're Not Allowed To Complain?
Yes I feel the same way. People have not lived up to my expectations eithers and to be honest I really didn't have many.
PrincessRose
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does Anyone Else Feel Like They're Not Allowed To Complain?
Yea!
My Matron of Honor isn't coming because she lives too far away and 'Can't afford the second trip' yet she's making the trip up to BOSTON just to visit someone else. Yet when I was her MoH I travelled EIGHT HOURS each way to throw her a shower.
It's not just the shower though it's other things too. But I just can't complain about things. ::shrug::
kazee525
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does Anyone Else Feel Like They're Not Allowed To Complain?
i am totally with you. my mom has let it slip a few times about certain BM's that are not helping at all. these girls are my best friends. but i am not supposed to know about it, so i keep my mouth shut. it is really hard...i thought these were the people that would be more excited about my wedding than anybody!
BMD'sPeanut
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does Anyone Else Feel Like They're Not Allowed To Complain?
maybe they're going to surprise you?
SandraLynn
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does Anyone Else Feel Like They're Not Allowed To Complain?
OOOH, don't get me started! My best friend of 30 yrs, ughhh! I need to bite my tongue here, but yes, i am w/ you! She is my MOH, and I knew I should have asked another friend. But after 30 years, how do you do that!
sassy2611
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does Anyone Else Feel Like They're Not Allowed To Complain?
YES, I am not alone. I am in the same boat. My FMIL thinks that since we set a date for the wedding i have changed. She's upset that i am so busy i don't have time to stop in and chat with her, yet she has not once opened her mouth to see if she can help. Go figure.
Jax430
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does Anyone Else Feel Like They're Not Allowed To Complain?
Rach- I know what you mean about feeling like you can't complain. If I get upset about something, my mom's reply is, 'you're not going to let THAT bother you, are you? Worry about more important things, like health.' I think these boards are a safe place to vent, for the most part, although I know you have concerns about what you say here...you know a lot of the ladies on here have had similar experiences. And you by no means are a bridezilla!!
Pookiesangel
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does Anyone Else Feel Like They're Not Allowed To Complain?
Posted by suven
I also feel that way. But, I have taken a vow that I will treat all of these people the same way that they have treated me. When it's time for them to get married, they will get the same effort from me that they've given to me...
I agree, I can't complain about my girls, because they all listen to my wedding stuff all the time, even when I know they don't really want to hear about it.. lol
I'm sorry you feel sad.. but have faith your shower and wedding day will be great!! Cheer up!
eogara
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does Anyone Else Feel Like They're Not Allowed To Complain?
I am SO happy you guys are all in the same boat. Ok, that might have come out wrong...not happy that you're unhappy but happy that I'm not alone. I'm going to stop before I put my foot any further in my mouth!
Anyway, yes, I am soooooo afraid of the 'bridezilla' label that I go the opposite way and it's really annoying sometimes. I also don't post 'vents' on here because I'm afraid of prying eyes. Everything I really wanted the wedding to be isn't happening because I'm giving in to everyone around me but I don't want to ever hear the words 'It's MY wedding' come out of my mouth so I don't know how else to handle it. At least we have each other...and the honeymoon
FLaCaTaCa
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does Anyone Else Feel Like They're Not Allowed To Complain?
OMG!!!!!!! MEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
With my BM especially. I am literally walking on eggshells so they are so comfortable. Some appreciate it and some are taking advantage of it.
tina_cuse01
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does Anyone Else Feel Like They're Not Allowed To Complain?
Sometimes I wonder if I had to start all over again would I even have a bridal party, besides for my sister. I am with most of you. My friends were excited when we got engaged, but haven't really helped with anything. My fiance's sisters I believe think there job is just to show up and look pretty in the dress. LOL. My sister though has been great.
While I know everyone's life doesn't revolve around our wedding - I was hoping for some more involvement.
shelly3950
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does Anyone Else Feel Like They're Not Allowed To Complain?
I complain all the time, but mostly to you guys and my FH (heaven help him)
I have had some problems with people, but they all worked themselves out. I am a big fan of communication so that has definitely helped. One BM overreacted about inviting someone, and when I s/w her she realized how silly she was being and apologized over and over.
I am not afraid of being a Bridezilla. I just think that things need to be addressed. Just think about the things you have done for your friends (like travelling 8 hours for a shower) - you definitely have the right to expect the same.
ETA, I also have a really small bridal party, my sister, my oldest friend, and two of my best college friends and they live in Boston (one of which is a guy), my FH's sister (who lives in Israel and is 16).
