Does anyone else have anxiety over this?....

MaXie Love Posted: Jun 04, 2007 08:46 PM

Does anyone else have anxiety over this?....

THis may sound strange, but I feel very anxious and uncomfortable with Mark and I saying our vows infront of our 125+ guests. I feel like vows are very special and personal and I don't like the idea of saying them infront of everyone. And walking down the aisle, all eyes on me. This is why I really *really* want a destination wedding with only close friends and immediate family. But Mark and his big fat italian family have absolutely put thier foot down, and everyone and thier mothers father must be there. There is also the same anxiety issue with our first dance, which I am dreading and dancing with my father. I really don't like the spot light. Anyone else share this same anxiousness?

Jackie

kat74 Posted: Jun 04, 2007 08:50 PM

Re: Does anyone else have anxiety over this?....

i don't like the idea of all eyes on me-- but over the past year I have gotten used to the idea-- and my shower was practice for being the center of attention-- today work had a shower for me too and I was hardly anxious.... I think if you relax and try to accept it you will feel a little better about it in time

TJ22908 Posted: Jun 04, 2007 08:51 PM

Re: Does anyone else have anxiety over this?....

I feel the same way..I'm not doing the 1st dance just us I will do some it then invite the BP to dance..but I am so affraid that I am going to trip walking down the aisle or something...I think I will be so nervous that I will not even know what I'm doing & probably not even remember it!!

snwb08 Posted: Jun 04, 2007 08:54 PM

Re: Does anyone else have anxiety over this?....

Absolutely!!! I wanted a destination wedding also, but MY big fat italian family wouldn't have it. my parents threw us an engagement party and people kept telling me I looked 'tense'. So I know how you feel. I figure I have a year to get used to it.

I don't want anyone at the church watch me do the aisle thing except our parents and siblings.

lacey&mark Posted: Jun 04, 2007 08:56 PM

Re: Does anyone else have anxiety over this?....

i naturally get anxious about those things, but my DH on the other hand gets VERY anxious! he confessed after the wedding that he was SOOOOOOO nervous with the vows and the special dances (he HATES dancing, let alone in front of a crowd with all eyes and cameras on him), but he did it because he knew it was important to me. for me, once i was in the midst of it i wasn't anxious anymore, it was just the build up beforehand that was bothersome. however, if you are extremely uncomfortabe with the idea of the public vows and dances, and are uncomfortable about similiar situations in your everday life, you might want to look into taking some type of anti-anxiety medicine or learning some techniques to combat anxiety. good luck!

Flutterbye922 Posted: Jun 04, 2007 09:28 PM

Re: Does anyone else have anxiety over this?....

I dont like to be the center of the attention either - BUT - I really think that there is so much going on that you don't even realize there are that many other people there.

I remember when I was MOH for my sisters wedding - I had such anxiety walking down the aisle by myself and when it happened - I didnt even remember it! It happened so fast

As far as saying your vows in front of everyone - just try to face or angle yourself towards the priest so you cant see everyone staring at you.

HTH

empressdani Posted: Jun 04, 2007 09:37 PM

Re: Does anyone else have anxiety over this?....

I thought I was anti social b/c I felt like this! The only nervousness that I have with the wedding is the whole vow/crowd thing. Funny thing is I have performed in front of crowds for years (dancer...not THAT kind...lol) and I'm ok, I think it's because it's I know everyone that'll be there so if I mess up I'll never live it down!

emcheung Posted: Jun 04, 2007 09:37 PM

Re: Does anyone else have anxiety over this?....

you don't necessarily have to be extremely personal with your vows. if you wish to recite personal vows, you may want to set aside time with your FH alone after the wedding and read your vows to him then. you guys can write your own set of vows and keep it nice but general.

yes it is a little nerve wracking to be the center of attention. but just focus on the task at hand. enjoy your first dance with your husband. once you look into each others' eyes, everyone else will kinda blur into the background. enjoy the dance with your father; this may sound sad, but sometimes i think it may be the last one i ever have with my father. so, just enjoy the moment.

daniebc16 Posted: Jun 04, 2007 09:37 PM

Re: Does anyone else have anxiety over this?....

That is really the only part of the wedding that I am REALLY nervous about. I do not like the idea of being so vulnerable in front of so many people...but I guess I am going to have to suck it up!

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Jun 04, 2007 09:45 PM

Re: Does anyone else have anxiety over this?....

You could do your vows without a microphone, that way only you and him will be able to hear it. But really, I was nervous too, but once we were up there, everyone else melted away and it was only the two of us.

As for the first dance - you can dance just the first few minutes by yourself and then have your BP or parents join you. Or have them dance with you from the very beginning.

LVC8 Posted: Jun 04, 2007 10:20 PM

Re: Does anyone else have anxiety over this?....

Dude has anyone reminded you that it's YOUR wedding???

If you want a smaller, more intimate wedding, or a destination wedding, then do it, and don't let people guilt you into something you don't want. If you go and get married in like the Bahamas or something you can always come back to NY and have a huge party that is very low key - not like a formal affair - and then everyone can enjoy the festivities and there will be a lot less pressure.

I think you have the right idea. It's about the personal exchange of vows and you're focusing on that and how you will be most comfy to join your life to someone else's.

On the other hand, if it's just jitters about being the center of attention, try to remember that you have someone to share it with you - your FH!

Bella77 Posted: Jun 04, 2007 11:02 PM

Re: Does anyone else have anxiety over this?....

I feel you - not that I am anywhere close to anti-social, I tend to be more comfortable blending into a crowd, or being behind the scenes - the fact that 100+ ppl are there for US (and FH is 100x more shy than me) definitely gives me anxiety. Maybe I should have a Xanax handy!

PegaLega Posted: Jun 04, 2007 11:52 PM

Re: Does anyone else have anxiety over this?....

I was a little nervous but we both did pretty good considering that we were BOTH anxiety ridden over it for the week before.
Trust me-when you walk down that aisle people really kind of blend together

MaXie Love Posted: Jun 05, 2007 08:01 AM

Re: Does anyone else have anxiety over this?....

Ewww Just thinking and talking about it makes me all nervous and jittery!

Jackie012100 Posted: Jun 05, 2007 10:07 AM

Re: Does anyone else have anxiety over this?....

Yes!!!!!!!!! I hate the 'all eyes on me' feeling. I am absolutely miserable on my b'days and graduation, etc. I have such a difficult time opening presents in front of people. I don't know how I'm going to handle my wedding. I love celebrating things for everyone else in the world. When it comes time to celebrating me, I just want to crawl under a rock. The only thing that is helping me feel better is that everyone will be looking at FH because it is his day too.