Does anyone ever make you second guess your decisions?

BriBri529 Posted: Aug 08, 2004 09:58 PM

Does anyone ever make you second guess your decisions?

I am so aggravated. Everyone once in a while my dad will be like 'Just think, if you weren't going to have this 'big' wedding, you could take the money we are spending and that you are spending and it would be a nice down payment on a house. I know because we are having a 'big' wedding that it is going to put us back in terms of being able to have a house right away, but I feel that a couples' wedding day is so special and I don't want to sacrifice that. I don't think we are going 'crazy', but it is so true that what we are spending on a wedding would be an awesome chunk toward a house . . . SO frustrating. It makes me so annoyed

nov04LIbride Posted: Aug 08, 2004 10:06 PM

Re: Does anyone ever make you second guess your decisions?

I second guess all my own decisions, right down to the font for my invitations and my dress (why I am on dress #2 and am happy I don't have time left to go for a third!). No one really made me second guess my venue or type of wedding--I knew from when I was little the style I wanted, and am stubborn so my family knows not to question my decisions anyway...But, since we are having a 100 person wedding (and did cut out some friends and co-workers to keep it small), we still had $ left over to buy a home...So I guess we compromised, but I don't regret it in any way...Do what's right for you....

randella Posted: Aug 08, 2004 10:12 PM

Re: Does anyone ever make you second guess your decisions?

After just going through a dress dilemma that has kept me up almost every night this week, drove me to tears and sent me to my bed to curl up into a fetal position (aka things I would not do otherwise)... I learned a very important lesson...

Always go with your gut. If it feels right to you, then it is meant to be. From the small minutia of detail to the big decisions.. don't let others talk you out of what you want.. Take your time to figure everything out, and always trust yourself. If you think you'll regret not having the big wedding- don't second guess having one.. Your dad is probably trying to be practical.. and if you are a bride to be- you know that the word practical is not in any wedding handbook.

prncssrachel Posted: Aug 08, 2004 10:51 PM

Re: Does anyone ever make you second guess your decisions?

Posted by BriBri529

I am so aggravated. Everyone once in a while my dad will be like 'Just think, if you weren't going to have this 'big' wedding, you could take the money we are spending and that you are spending and it would be a nice down payment on a house. I know because we are having a 'big' wedding that it is going to put us back in terms of being able to have a house right away, but I feel that a couples' wedding day is so special and I don't want to sacrifice that. I don't think we are going 'crazy', but it is so true that what we are spending on a wedding would be an awesome chunk toward a house . . . SO frustrating. It makes me so annoyed

OMG, do we have the same dad? If I had a dollar for everytime my father told me this, I would already have two houses I stopped listening to him when my mother told me that her parents offered them the same deal...money for a big wedding or money for a down payment and they took.............THE BIG WEDDING! So I just ignore him now

BriBri529 Posted: Aug 09, 2004 09:39 AM

Re: Does anyone ever make you second guess your decisions?

I want my big wedding, but when I start getting practical I am like 'Why the heck does this have to be so much $$$$?' My parents just had immediate family at a restaurant and my mom always says that her wedding was 'just at a restaurant.' I feel like she is regretful of the fact that they couldn't have a big wedding. I don't want to regret it someday. I feel that if it takes us a while to buy a house, at least we will have one EVENTUALLY. If we give up the wedding, we can't ever get that back. Even if we did what some people do and put off the big wedding and do it in the future, it still wouldn't be the same. Why do some parents have to be so PRACTICAL?????

BriBri529 Posted: Aug 09, 2004 09:40 AM

Re: Does anyone ever make you second guess your decisions?

Posted by 121502

Posted by BriBri529

I am so aggravated. Everyone once in a while my dad will be like 'Just think, if you weren't going to have this 'big' wedding, you could take the money we are spending and that you are spending and it would be a nice down payment on a house. I know because we are having a 'big' wedding that it is going to put us back in terms of being able to have a house right away, but I feel that a couples' wedding day is so special and I don't want to sacrifice that. I don't think we are going 'crazy', but it is so true that what we are spending on a wedding would be an awesome chunk toward a house . . . SO frustrating. It makes me so annoyed

OMG, do we have the same dad? If I had a dollar for everytime my father told me this, I would already have two houses

We must be sisters . . .

JPC1125 Posted: Aug 09, 2004 10:49 AM

Re: Does anyone ever make you second guess your decisions?

my parents are so crazy that they are making me rethink the entire wedding idea...

at this point i want to elope, move away extra quick and not give them the address or phone number.

they are driving me insane on the save the dates ...its the first thing we are doing for this wedding and im ready to call it quits. My parents- mom especially- knows all the buttons to push. Bottom line is that 'if it were them, they would just send out a postcard and write the information on it'

they are very low class and my fh and i want something very elegant. but since they offered to pay for them- we are stuck listening to them complain now. They are not allowed to pay for anything else or i will lose it!

MamanDaddyof2 Posted: Aug 09, 2004 11:04 AM

Re: Does anyone ever make you second guess your decisions?

my father is the same way he keeps saying how can you waste all that money on one day
ugh it is so annoying
I am not asking him to pay for the whole thing so why does it matter? (they did say they would give me $5,000) but I havent seen it yet..

FLaCaTaCa Posted: Aug 09, 2004 11:26 AM

Re: Does anyone ever make you second guess your decisions?

EVERYDAY!!!!!!!!!! I am so tired of it too!!!!

BCTM33 Posted: Aug 09, 2004 11:32 AM

Re: Does anyone ever make you second guess your decisions?

Whenever wedding talk comes up someone ALWAYS chimes in to say that they think it is a waste of money and it should go towards a house. Sometime complete strangers tell me I am wasting my money...

This always irritates me because I've chosen to have this wedding and I am perfectly aware of what that $$ could have been spent on (a new car, down payment, etc) but I want my wedding.

Obviously your dad isn't a complete stranger, and he loves you - but if you want this wedding you shouldn't let anyone make you second guess your decision. You deserve the perfect day just the way you want it!

Good Luck!

MamanDaddyof2 Posted: Aug 09, 2004 11:44 AM

Re: Does anyone ever make you second guess your decisions?

i am close with my father so i told him I am aware of your feelings of wasting the money so now i know lets move on you dont have to keep telling me
he hasnt said another word about it(also my mom yelled at him)
but he is getting excited about walking me down the aisle