Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

OctBride03 Posted: Feb 27, 2003 10:30 AM

Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

Hi ladies... normally I don't vent like this, but I think I need to let some things out...

Anyway.... I feel like if I don't do anything wedding related it won't get done... I feel like no one is excited for me anymore... it's 8 months away and it's like nothing.... my parents have been helpful ONLY when I TELL them to be... I just feel like everyone's mother is so involved and my mother doesn't know where to begin... I know they are nervous and trying to re-do the house (for the wedding) and we don't even think it's even hit my dad yet.... I just wish they'd ask me what's going on? what kind of flowers and stuff I'm going with? They don't really offer any ideas for anything.... they are confused and nervous, I know, but it just makes me sad....

I feel bad constantly calling my MOH - she's got 4 kids of her own and FH has been working like crazy, he doesn't even know what day it is...

I'm going with my mother on March 11 to go look at invites. I know I made her feel bad this morning when I told her no one is involved.... UGH, I dont know... I guess it's just one of those days! Sorry soooo long!

Thanks ladies!

Valenia Posted: Feb 27, 2003 10:34 AM

Re: Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

You are not the only one. There are plenty of brides around here that can tell your similar stories (including myself). Lean on the women here for all the support you need -- you aren't alone, we are here for you!!!

nylisa Posted: Feb 27, 2003 10:34 AM

Re: Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

Lauren: Don't feel like no one is involved. Everyone shows their involvement and excitement in different ways. Just remember that we all are involved in your wedding and its planning in different ways.

OctBride03 Posted: Feb 27, 2003 10:36 AM

Re: Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

Thank you! I know I have my LIW girls....

Ronnie&Theresa Posted: Feb 27, 2003 10:36 AM

Re: Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

Lauren..

This is what we are here for..

Only other brides can undertsand bc if you aren't going through the same thing you really can't relate..

xoox Don' t worry we love you and are here to care!

ChristineC68 Posted: Feb 27, 2003 10:37 AM

Re: Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

I'm sorry you are so sad.

We are all real excited for you!!!!!!!!!

I would give them the benefit of the doubt - they may not know what you need help with. Try asking your mom to go look at florists or ask her opinions on arrangements, etc.

I know that before our wedding I had NO IDEA how much goes into it and wouldn't know what to ask or offer other then 'how's it going?'

karen32 Posted: Feb 27, 2003 10:39 AM

Re: Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

Wedding planning is a very tricky thing. I had a similiar conversation with my mom - her response - she didn't want to feel pushy by asking too many questions or volunteering for too much stuff!!!!! Everyone has their own interpretation of being exciting/involved. My mom has never volunteered to really do anything, but if I mention a florist appt - she's there! Have nice heart to heart with your mom.

loverock Posted: Feb 27, 2003 10:41 AM

Don't be so sad!

Don't be so sad!
This is great site and I feel happy and lucky today!
I'm the December Bride.
October is better than December, I guess.
So Be Happy, okay?

shamma Posted: Feb 27, 2003 10:50 AM

Re: Don't be so sad!

IT happens to the best of us, fret not, once it gets closer it gets to be more real for others. My hubby did not start getting excited until the week of. Its your day enjoy every minute of the planning.

Take care and I hope you feel better soon. Sometimes some people do not want to over step, and if you need the help ask for it. No one will ever be as excited as the bride, remember that

mishandgerard Posted: Feb 27, 2003 10:51 AM

Re: Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

I felt the same way. Sadly enough I was right. My maid of honor turned out to be a b-i____! Ionly got married in september and I dont even speak with her now.

But that is why everyone is on this site. To support each other. So you dont have to feel that way.

OctBride03 Posted: Feb 27, 2003 10:52 AM

Re: Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

Thank you... reading this responses is cheering me up... you ladies are great....

I'm sorry your MOH didn't turn out so great...

Dawn5403 Posted: Feb 27, 2003 11:02 AM

Re: Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

It is the same way for me. my mom is out of state and even if she wasn't I know I would be doing it all myself. we are not as close as some. she doesn't even call to see how its going. I spoke with her a few times, because she needed info on her dress. My FH and I have done it all ourselves, went to appts, etc. my MOH is my sister and I even felt like I was putting her out when she came with me to look at dresses. oh well, like they say, everyone handles it differently. I have had plenty of moments of sadness too! Im getting married in May, so the planning has calmed down a bit.
This board has helped in so many ways. Its so true that you really do not know what goes into making a wedding unless you are going through it.
Hang in there and ask people when you need them and other times, just know that you are not the only one whose family is not proactive!

radiostar Posted: Feb 27, 2003 11:18 AM

Re: Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

Ya' know?? I DID feel alone until I found this board. It sort of hurts that no one is really as excited as I am about my upcoming wedding. You figure that your bridemaids would as least be a little supportive. I send my Bms e-mails with constant updates . . .I ask for feedback and opinions - - and I NEVER get any response. I asked for their pictures so that I could put them on my website! No response! I sit at home and watch episodes of TLC's The Wedding Story and cry sometimes.

But this online community is all you really need. The ladies here are absolutely wonderful!

Tammy5-03 Posted: Feb 27, 2003 11:39 AM

Re: Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

I totally understand how you feel. I'm so glad I found this site because it has really been the most support and encouragement that I've had. I've been doing most of it myself although I have very little free time. My mother and my BMs have done almost nothing. FH has been great but he is not interested in a lot of the things that cause me so much stress. I'm still very behind in the planning and my wedding is in May but its getting better. My attitude about it all has improved in the past few weeks. I can feel it coming together now so I'm not as upset as I was. The ladies here have been the best. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, just come and vent.

OctBride03 Posted: Feb 27, 2003 11:42 AM

Re: Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

Thank you...

My mother has been fine with things (like she's not being mean) like I said, she probably just doesn't know what to do... it's just upsetting... I don't want anyone thinking my mother is an evil witch, lol, that's not the case!

Thank you so much ladies! LIW is the best!

bride082003 Posted: Feb 27, 2003 11:44 AM

Re: Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

ditto what everyone said....I too only have ONE person in my life that shares my excitement (my MOH)....I guess this is what happens when you are the last of your friends to get married! Thank goodness for LIWEDDINGS - I come here to share my excitement w/ my fellow BRIDES!

MaryK Posted: Feb 27, 2003 11:52 AM

Re: Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

Oh Lauren - please don't be SAD!!!!

I can relate too actually! I have dragged my FH to everything but it's still 'my' thing. I was fed up in feeling all alone so I started calling 'planning meetings' at my parents house once a month. (Just my mom and dad, FH and I) This way it gave me a chance to sit and tell everyone all the things I have been doing, all the things i have to do and it gave them am oppoturtunity to pipe up and help! It worked for awhile, but once we stopped finding time for the meetings, everything fell on me again. I DRAGGED my mom to the florist, dragged her to look at invites. When I ask her if she has time for an appointment I always hear about the things she has to do that she will do another time then! It's no longer worth it for me!

But like everyone says I come here and I no longer feel so 'alone'.

Please don't be sad! We will help you (I will have a lot more time in May though LOL!!!)

Cheer up!!

OctBride03 Posted: Feb 27, 2003 11:54 AM

Re: Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

Thank you Mary....

I like your 'planning meeting' idea though... maybe I'll try that.... this wedding stuff is like a foreign language to my parents... lol

alina Posted: Feb 27, 2003 11:54 AM

Re: Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

Lauren, check your FM and many to you

Fletch Posted: Feb 27, 2003 11:56 AM

Re: Does anyone feel alone with this planning?? (I'M VERY SAD)

Hey Lauren –

For us our wedding is always at the top of our list and it’s hard when other people don’t feel that way – what’s wrong with them…this is the most important day ever!! Lol I think as it gets closer the excitement that was there in the beginning will come back.