does this seem 'cheap?' ( vent)

ok... so FI's parents are from rural reneck PA...and are VERY tight with their money even though they have lived in the wealthiest county in NJ for 20 years and FIs dad has a good job as a pilot for united air....
so anyway... they offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner- good, great, wonderful.... i managed to keep the list to about 25 people and the price at the place we want to have it is pretty reasonable about $15- $20 a plate.... so anyway FIs aunt and uncle and another uncle are drivin in from PA ( 5 hours) on friday afternoon... but FIs mom doesn't think she wants to invite them to the rehearsal dinner... even though one of their daughters just got married in september and FIs parents went to the rehearsal dinner .... i don't know why its buggin me so much cause its not my family.... but i just think that the aunt and uncles are making the trip a day early- that they should be invited to the RD... its not like we have a ton of people invited already.... it really seems like FIs parents are just being cheap, which i don't think is right... its their only sons ( AND only child's!) wedding... you would think they could find an extra $60 in there somewhere to be nice to their family...... just buggin me, thats all thanks for listening!

well I agree with you 100% but neither you or I are paying for the RD - so it is hard to say - maybe you can have your FH suggest and try to convinc them into inviting them to the RD since they are his parents - keep us posted

I would try talking to your FILs about it. Inviting them does seem like it would be the right thing to do. Maybe if they're dead set against it, you could offer to pay for them? Maybe after hearing that you want them there so badly that you'd be willing to pay, they'll shell out the money.

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Posted by amyandbill

I truly believe that out of town guests, who are in town the night of your rd should be invited. It is a nice touch and gives them something to do that night. They will appreciate being included. I would tell your fi to tell his parents that he would like them to be invited.

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I totally agree.

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Posted by Bumsie

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Posted by amyandbill

I truly believe that out of town guests, who are in town the night of your rd should be invited. It is a nice touch and gives them something to do that night. They will appreciate being included. I would tell your fi to tell his parents that he would like them to be invited.

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I totally agree.

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Me too!

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Posted by ChristineAEid

JMO: I am keeping our RD down to a minimum - literally. ONLY THE BP and the parents are invited. Perhaps your FIL feel the same way....?

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that's pretty much what i am thinking- only me and fh, maid of honor and her fi, best man and his girlfriend, our parents and grandparents.

(we have no bridal party)

it may seem cheap but we have to save somewhere

we both have huge families and have to draw the line somewhere maybe that's what fi's family is trying to do?

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Posted by jesslangen

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Posted by Bumsie

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Posted by amyandbill

I truly believe that out of town guests, who are in town the night of your rd should be invited. It is a nice touch and gives them something to do that night. They will appreciate being included. I would tell your fi to tell his parents that he would like them to be invited.

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I totally agree.

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Me too!

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i agree too!

you think that's bad??

My FMIL is hosting a breakfast (not a RD) on get this.... MY WEDDING DAY!!!!!!!



guess she's ok with me not being there.

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Posted by buggiegirl

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Posted by ChristineAEid

JMO: I am keeping our RD down to a minimum - literally. ONLY THE BP and the parents are invited. Perhaps your FIL feel the same way....?

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that's pretty much what i am thinking- only me and fh, maid of honor and her fi, best man and his girlfriend, our parents and grandparents.

(we have no bridal party)

it may seem cheap but we have to save somewhere

we both have huge families and have to draw the line somewhere maybe that's what fi's family is trying to do?

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Honestly, it's just too much! I understand other people are paying, but in the end, do people who are ALREADY going to the wedding, need another party???? Enough - it's so exhausting!

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Posted by ChristineAEid

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Posted by buggiegirl

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Posted by ChristineAEid

JMO: I am keeping our RD down to a minimum - literally. ONLY THE BP and the parents are invited. Perhaps your FIL feel the same way....?

---

that's pretty much what i am thinking- only me and fh, maid of honor and her fi, best man and his girlfriend, our parents and grandparents.

(we have no bridal party)

it may seem cheap but we have to save somewhere

we both have huge families and have to draw the line somewhere maybe that's what fi's family is trying to do?

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Honestly, it's just too much! I understand other people are paying, but in the end, do people who are ALREADY going to the wedding, need another party???? Enough - it's so exhausting!

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i totally understand keeping it to a minimum... in fact, we are having one of the GMs girlfriends do a reading just because she was gonna be at the rehearsal dinner anyway so it saves us from having to invite another person.
i guess i just feel like these are the ONLY 3 OOT relatives that are gonna be in town that night... how can we not include them?
oh well... its not my problem i guess

It's FMIL's family and she is paying. IMO, let her handle it, you have enough on your plate.

We had so many OOT guests, there was no way we could have afforded to invite them all to the rehearsal dinner, it just would have been too much.