Don't know what to do...

regi Posted: Dec 23, 2005 05:44 PM

Don't know what to do...

My husband was adopted(knew for many years). His grandmother told me that he has a sister, but made me promise that I would not tell him. Only her and his mother know this.

I want to tell him so badly. I am so confused.

Can anyone give me advice.

TIA

103005FallBride Posted: Dec 23, 2005 05:47 PM

Re: Don't know what to do...

I'm sorry...I don't know what to tell you. It's as if I wouldn't want to know if I had to keep a secret like that. Would he want to know? Why are they keeping it from him? I'm sorry....this has got to be very difficult keeping this inside.

EvenEdan Posted: Dec 23, 2005 05:53 PM

Re: Don't know what to do...

What?? Why would she tell you this and then ask you not to tell your husband? And why doesn't she want him to know? Personally, I couldn't keep this info from him, especially if it was something I knew he'd really want to know. My loyalties are to my husband not his grandma. I think I would sit grandma down and explain to her that he really deserves to know this information and that you will give her the chance to tell him, but if she doesn't, you will. Bottom line is, how will he feel if he ever finds out about the sister and then finds out that you knew all along? No way!!

Faith Posted: Dec 23, 2005 07:12 PM

Re: Don't know what to do...

Could he ever forgive you if he knew you kept something like that from him? In my opinion, you must tell him. And shame on his grandmother for putting you in such a position!

regi Posted: Dec 23, 2005 07:42 PM

Re: Don't know what to do...

Thank you all!!!

PS i will tell him!!

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Dec 23, 2005 07:43 PM

Re: Don't know what to do...

I tell my FH everything no matter who tells me not to!

februarybride Posted: Dec 23, 2005 07:55 PM

Re: Don't know what to do...

I would discuss with grandma and let her know that you can't keep such a secret from your DH. I would be really hurt if my DH knew something like that and kept it from me. Why do they want to keep this from him?

btrflygrl Posted: Dec 23, 2005 08:27 PM

Re: Don't know what to do...

I'd tell the grandmother to tell your DH!!!! Why should you be held liable for that secret

regi Posted: Dec 23, 2005 09:01 PM

Re: Don't know what to do...

You are all wonderful!!

beautyq115 Posted: Dec 23, 2005 09:32 PM

Re: Don't know what to do...

That is not a nice thing for them to to do...actually its horrible! But I would tell him.

Jax430 Posted: Dec 23, 2005 11:43 PM

Re: Don't know what to do...

Michelle, I agree with everyone who said they would tell him. It was wrong of his grandmother to ask you to keep such a significant secret.

shamrock12472 Posted: Dec 24, 2005 12:11 AM

Re: Don't know what to do...

That wasn't very fair to do to you. I would tell his grandmother that she has the choice to tell him herself or you will. This is not something that should be kept a secret from him.

In a way, I think the grandmother told you so you would tell him and she wouldn't have to feel guilty about keeping the secret and she wouldn't feel like she betrayed her daughter's confidence.

Blu-ize Posted: Dec 24, 2005 08:45 AM

Re: Don't know what to do...

Do you have an update yet?

regi Posted: Dec 24, 2005 09:30 AM

Re: Don't know what to do...

I told him last nite. I couldn't keep it in anymore. He was a little shocked. He never had any interest on finding his birth mother, and the same went for his birth sister.

But the fact that I got it off my chest is such a relief!!

God bless you all!!!