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Don't mean to be preachy ladies, but JMO ...

Original post by nrvbrd

DO NOT GO INTO MAJOR DEBT OVER YOUR WEDDING!!!!!!!

Why am I saying this? Well I still have to do some calling for missing responses (1 month before the wedding- TODAY) Well there is one couple whom we are friendly with. We were surprised to not get a response from them. Well we called them and the husband told FH that he had to regrettfully decline our invite. The reason is- he and his wife simply cannot afford to attend. He admitted to my FH that his wife is not working, so the financial burden is on him and after 3/12 years of marriage he is still paying back his wedding. He took out a huge cash advance on his credit card to pay off the balance of the wedding. So now they are somewhat struggling financially.

Hearing this conversation put things into greater perspective for me. This is ONE DAY, albeit an important one, but after all is said and done I do not want to be struggling unnecessarily. My hall may not be the fanciest, and I am NOT spending tons of dollars- but at the end of the day- I WILL BE MARRIED.

Ok, off my soapbox.
nrvbrd Posted:

Re: Don't mean to be preachy ladies, but JMO ...

Exactly Nessa.

Xelindrya Posted:

Re: Don't mean to be preachy ladies, but JMO ...

A twist on the Cash thing..
My FH & are footing the whole bill...
Talking about wishful thinking, are original budget is $16,000 Hahahaha

Anyway.. a short cut for us was that I have had an American Advantage Membership for awhile. Living in NYC with Family in Texas, Iowa and friends in San Fran can REALLY add up.

So my office gives us fee-free banking at Citibank. I signed up. I'm paying $65 annually to upgrade my debit card to the American mile-per-dollar Advantage plan. Since it's a debit/credit card, and since only 'credit' charges qualify, I'm offically Charging my wedding off..... on my debit card.

The idea of us spending $13,000 in groceries, wedding stuff, day to day stuff, movies and junk in a year is very likely.

That means.. One free round trip ticket.. meaning airfare for honeymoon is half price.

I'm a penny pincher.. i WILL stay under $20,000 if it kills me, but I will NOT have a ghetto wedding. If it comes to that.. I'll grab a small loan.
julybride444 Posted:

Re: Don't mean to be preachy ladies, but JMO ...

Xelindrya, we did the same thing. We got a miles credit card that has good rates, etc, and then transferred the amount we put on it for the wedding onto a no interest card. So we get the miles and we pay not interest.

dgtlsunshine Posted:

Re: Don't mean to be preachy ladies, but JMO ...

10 Years I could not imagine paying off a wedding 10 years later. I am glad we did not do that. So much comes after the wedding. We just made a year and we are in our new home and so much other wonderful things have happened that I can't imagine paying for my wedding right now

Stay away from wedding debt

Maribelle7777 Posted:

Re: Don't mean to be preachy ladies, but JMO ...

One word about paying in cash: if you do not have wedding insurance, you will lose out if something bad happens to one of your vendors and they cannot perform their services for you. At least with a credit card you may have a chance to get some of the money back.

However, what I am doing and what I suggest others do is have the $$ already saved. When I put down the 50% on my dress, right away on my way home I stopped at my bank and transferred the money from my savings acct into my credit card (helps to have a credit card from the bank where your accounts are and to have them hooked up together so you can transfer $$ right at the ATM)
If you don't have a card that is connected w/ your bank, then send in a payment as soon as you can after using the card.

Another plus - if you get miles on your card - you get miles! HOpefully Continental will be 'paying' for our airfare when we book the honeymoon!

Mary

cluelessbride Posted:

Re: Don't mean to be preachy ladies, but JMO ...

Fh and I are paying 100% ourselves. We promised each other that everything will be paid in cash - we want to save for a house asap.

It's tough b/c we live together now so it's not like we can stash away money while we live at home. BUT it is possible to have the most lovely, meaningful day without spending a fortune.

Every wedding is beautiful and special and full of hope and promise.
HearzBellz Posted:

Re: Don't mean to be preachy ladies, but JMO ...

Whoa...that is bad, sorry for your friend
MarciaD Posted:

Re: Don't mean to be preachy ladies, but JMO ...

Very sorry to hear that about your friend. FH and I are paying for everything as well. E-ring, wedding, and HM may reach 30K COMBINED! I have friends paying that just for the wedding, and already complaining about not having money. My theory is if you don't have it, don't spend it. I can't imagine 10 years to pay off 5 hours.......

I'm looking forward to my small initimate wedding!
maysie18 Posted:

Re: Don't mean to be preachy ladies, but JMO ...

I'm lucky that my mom is paying for the entire reception & RD! We're paying the rest but we've been planning for over a year & will only owe for video/photography when wedding is over & that won't be much. I will have carried some credit card purchases over which can easily be paid off. After I watched a friend still paying for her wedding after her divorce, I knew what we needed to do. Its been tough but well worth it. Like the original poster, our reception site isn't the fanciest/most talked about site on LIW, but it'll be more than memorable! & most importantly, affordable!

mv1003 Posted:

Re: Don't mean to be preachy ladies, but JMO ...

K- sorry about your friend. Thanks for posting though.

I absolutely refused to owe anything after the wedding was over. I did charge every single thing, for points, but FH & I have saved the cash to pay for it right away. Plus, there are some things (as we all know) that you can only pay cash for. I've been engaged 2 years in Sept, and wouldn't have it any other way. We hope to buy a house w/in a year or 2.

My cousin, on the other hand, got married in Maine. I still to this day can not figure out how her wedding cost $35K, but it did, and she put most of it on her credit card. Well, her DH flipped out when he saw the bill (can we say, lack of communication?) and asked his Father for a loan to pay that off. Happy ending? nope, the Father lent them the $$$ but w/ interest!!! They'll be done paying the Father back in 2 years! Married in 2000.... insane! Guess she really had to be married before she turned 30. (I've got a strange family by the way)
wowlifeisgood Posted:

Re: Don't mean to be preachy ladies, but JMO ...

i am having a small wedding too. and we are paying for it ourselves I feel the same way. What is really important about that day. Us. :)

Marcela1654 Posted:

Re: Don't mean to be preachy ladies, but JMO ...

I totally agree with you!! We have gone over budget on some things, but we wouldn't have if we knew we didn't have the money in the bank. I haven't charged one wedding related thing on my credit card, except for one deposit b/c I forgot my check book at home But I paid it off once the bill came.
nrvbrd Posted:

Re: Don't mean to be preachy ladies, but JMO ...

Just to clarify- I see nothing wrong with using a credit card to get miles, however if you are going to charge, make sure you can pay if off right away.

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