Don't want to start an argument here but....

I went to a wedding this weekend. Specificly, my cousins. Now, we grew up together and I love him to death and his now wife is a wonderful woman and I am very happy for them but they seemed to have left their brains at home because they were opening cards AT THE WEDDING as they were being handed to them and you could see the groom open his wallet several times to put money in!!

I almost died.

Now, Here's where the 'starting-an-argument' part comes in....they also had a cash bar.

And it wasn't cheep either. I suggest to any brides even considering this to not do it, or to at least reconsider doing maybe a wine/beer only sort of situation. I over heard several comments that I won't even repeat in full about removing money and/or re-writing checks to the couple. (I was informed that this is a common practice which I was unaware of that I personally find completely deplorable). They also had about 20% more people then they should have...there was no space between tables and since I was seated right near the buffet I heard the phrase 'Can you squeeze in a bit' about 600 times over the course of the evening. Out of courtesy to my family, I did not utter a word or make an sort of indication that I was supremely annoyed. We also tried to move the table over a bit to accomodate some sort of aisle at which point the man who was seated right behind me decided he needed to move his chair back and 'stretch out'. Again, not wanting to be the family member who started a confrontation at my cousins wedding....I kept my mouth shut. Oh, and did I mention there was no air-conditioning?

To an extent I can understand the cash bar, the couple has a child and his needs MUST come before the need for the guests at your wedding to drink, however I don't know how they thought it was okay to flash their monitary gifts all over the place.

I would just like to add that even with all of these factors FH and I had a wonderful time. Their ceremony was on the beach in Cape Cod, MA and the bride was barefoot (which I loved) and it was really beautiful and touching (I cried lol). It made me a thousand times more exited to marry my FH (and I really didn't think that was possible, lol).

One more thing before I finish: As we were leaving and saying our goodbyes to the groom (my cousin and the rest of my family) we noticed that the bride was missing. Not wanting to be rude, my family searched up and down, outside and in for her. After about 15 minutes we decided to leave without saying goodbye to her (which I and several others were uncomfortable with). As were driving down the road, about 1/2 mile down we saw her chowing down a slice of pizza at a local pizza parlor....how did we know it was her? She was still in her wedding dress.

I love the bride and groom and wish them all the best for their future together and I did actually have a wonderful time at their wedding but this will be an event my family will probably never stop talking about

OMG This is soo comical... You just can't make this stuff up.

The bride down the road eating pizza is the best!! Did you stop and say hello/goodbye to her??

Cash bar is usually an etiquette no-no. I'm not sure if maybe it is more common-place outside NY. (it reminds me of Amy and Roberts PA wedding on everybody loves Raymond) I have heard of people not doing open bar b/c of family members with drinking problems, but that is rare.

If its was b/'c of finances and all- then ok- but I would probably just cut my wedding down or do wine/beer like you said.

I hate being stuffed into tables too- ugggh.

I'm glad you were able to have a great time.

ETA- I have heard of opening cards (in private) to tip out vendors, but not opening in front of people and putting it in your wallet. Were they affraid someone would get ahold of their envelopes? How do u know what the gift was if you shove the $ in your pocket...lol

The cash bar.......oh well it happens
The opening of gifts in frount of guests...........TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!!!

wow! tha is crazy and rude !
how can you leave your own wedding to eat!


and when you receive a card you should give it to someone else or put it away ....never open a monetary gift at the party!

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

OMG This is soo comical... You just can't make this stuff up.

The bride down the road eating pizza is the best!! Did you stop and say hello/goodbye to her??

Cash bar is usually an etiquette no-no. I'm not sure if maybe it is more common-place outside NY. (it reminds me of Amy and Roberts PA wedding on everybody loves Raymond) I have heard of people not doing open bar b/c of family members with drinking problems, but that is rare.

If its was b/'c of finances and all- then ok- but I would probably just cut my wedding down or do wine/beer like you said.

I hate being stuffed into tables too- ugggh.

I'm glad you were able to have a great time.

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hahaha! that is what i thought about too! I <3 that show!

first of all, i went to a wedding in MA last year and it was a cash bar...and the only people who made any comments about it were us new yorkers!! lol!! i think it's pretty common outside of NY to have a cash bar...but i definitely would NOT do it. i feel the day is not just about us getting married, it's about having our guests there to celebrate and thanking them for being in our lives...i don't want to make them pay for anything!!

and the fact that they were opening their gifts AT THE WEDDING?!?!!??!?! who would ever do that? i can't imagine, just....ew.

and the bride at the pizza parlor is just hysterical. it would be fun and funny if she weren't missing out on saying her goodbyes...but it's just rude when you were looking for her to say goodbye.

jeez...

wow...well hope she had a good time. To take the money out of the cards! CRazy., and no open bar...insane! sorry but ......

Wow, opening cards at the party is definately a no-no for me! I think it makes it seem that they are a bit too anxious to receive money. And the bride just up and leaving the party for pizza? Thats just ridiculous. Hello? She could have gotten delivery if the RH refused to feed her! But whats a cash bar? I don't think i've ever seen one but have heard people talking about it.

ETA: Ok nevermind, i understand cash bar now lol

The last wedding we went to was in PA and it was a cash bar. There was also a bowling alley in the building, so the bartender kept going in there to play, so the bar became self-serve after a while!

I also caught the bride and groom peeking in their envelopes and I saw her pull out $ to tip someone!! So tacky IMO.

At least it was a nice ceremony and made you even more excited for your big day!

When I get home I will post some pics I took of the ceremony.

I should have taken a photo of the bride at the pizza parlor...but it was one of those things were you're driving by saying to yourself ...'Is that REALLY her....OMG' as you turn your head and drive by...... lmao.

I had no idea that cash bars were common place out-of-state. New York rocks! lol

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Posted by sassygirl9

well...I can see how the cash bar could be a problem. I know people have a certain amount of time paid then it turns into cash bar later. I think if a couple is going to do that, they should make it known before hand

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It would not have been so bad if they had informed us on the sly. It would have been eaiser to swallow (no pun intended). I did not come prepared for a cash bar. I also heard the phrase 'Is there an ATM around' many, many times lol.

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Posted by JeanetteandSteve

first of all, i went to a wedding in MA last year and it was a cash bar...and the only people who made any comments about it were us new yorkers!! lol!! i think it's pretty common outside of NY to have a cash bar...but i definitely would NOT do it. i feel the day is not just about us getting married, it's about having our guests there to celebrate and thanking them for being in our lives...i don't want to make them pay for anything!!

and the fact that they were opening their gifts AT THE WEDDING?!?!!??!?! who would ever do that? i can't imagine, just....ew.

and the bride at the pizza parlor is just hysterical. it would be fun and funny if she weren't missing out on saying her goodbyes...but it's just rude when you were looking for her to say goodbye.

jeez...

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IN MA, yeah its mostly cash bar and the norm there so they don't think its weird...they don't have regular wedding catering halls the way we do here...most are done at different type venues...when i showed a girl at my job from boston my JT book, she was confused as to what type of place it is bc she said every wedding she went to in boston was usually a country club or places like that.

places outside of NY charge an insane amount for open bar and the whole procedure is just different

'pizza'!~

Wow, what a strange situation! My parents actually warned me about the whole giving gifts based on the reception thing too…apparently, in my extended family, it’s quite common to meet up in the bathroom with your checkbooks, decide how much the wedding was and give a monetary gift based on that! I couldn’t believe it when I heard it, but these are my crazy old relatives from Ireland so anything is possible with them

The bride was at the pizza polar was the food bad? that is to funny!!