I went to a wedding this weekend. Specificly, my cousins. Now, we grew up together and I love him to death and his now wife is a wonderful woman and I am very happy for them but they seemed to have left their brains at home because they were opening cards AT THE WEDDING as they were being handed to them and you could see the groom open his wallet several times to put money in!!
I almost died.
Now, Here's where the 'starting-an-argument' part comes in....they also had a cash bar.
And it wasn't cheep either. I suggest to any brides even considering this to not do it, or to at least reconsider doing maybe a wine/beer only sort of situation. I over heard several comments that I won't even repeat in full about removing money and/or re-writing checks to the couple. (I was informed that this is a common practice which I was unaware of that I personally find completely deplorable). They also had about 20% more people then they should have...there was no space between tables and since I was seated right near the buffet I heard the phrase 'Can you squeeze in a bit' about 600 times over the course of the evening. Out of courtesy to my family, I did not utter a word or make an sort of indication that I was supremely annoyed. We also tried to move the table over a bit to accomodate some sort of aisle at which point the man who was seated right behind me decided he needed to move his chair back and 'stretch out'. Again, not wanting to be the family member who started a confrontation at my cousins wedding....I kept my mouth shut. Oh, and did I mention there was no air-conditioning?
To an extent I can understand the cash bar, the couple has a child and his needs MUST come before the need for the guests at your wedding to drink, however I don't know how they thought it was okay to flash their monitary gifts all over the place.
I would just like to add that even with all of these factors FH and I had a wonderful time. Their ceremony was on the beach in Cape Cod, MA and the bride was barefoot (which I loved) and it was really beautiful and touching (I cried lol). It made me a thousand times more exited to marry my FH (and I really didn't think that was possible, lol).
One more thing before I finish: As we were leaving and saying our goodbyes to the groom (my cousin and the rest of my family) we noticed that the bride was missing. Not wanting to be rude, my family searched up and down, outside and in for her. After about 15 minutes we decided to leave without saying goodbye to her (which I and several others were uncomfortable with). As were driving down the road, about 1/2 mile down we saw her chowing down a slice of pizza at a local pizza parlor....how did we know it was her? She was still in her wedding dress.
I love the bride and groom and wish them all the best for their future together and I did actually have a wonderful time at their wedding but this will be an event my family will probably never stop talking about
Julybride08
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
Posted by KitWisdom
Wow, what a strange situation! My parents actually warned me about the whole giving gifts based on the reception thing too…apparently, in my extended family, it’s quite common to meet up in the bathroom with your checkbooks, decide how much the wedding was and give a monetary gift based on that! I couldn’t believe it when I heard it, but these are my crazy old relatives from Ireland so anything is possible with them
wow that is crazy!!!
I herd that in ireland they don't give money as gifts.
kimnsteve
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
Posted by Espo22
you know what some ppl do...They put a certain amount in the envelope before they get there...then as the night goes on they rate things, if the food isn't that great then they take money out of the envelope, if they don't like music they'll take out for that and whatever else bothers them lol
I know someone that does this ...i think its horrible.....the present shouldnt be about the place it should be about what you want to give the couple.
smplynluv
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
Posted by Espo22
you know what some ppl do...They put a certain amount in the envelope before they get there...then as the night goes on they rate things, if the food isn't that great then they take money out of the envelope, if they don't like music they'll take out for that and whatever else bothers them lol
Yup, my dad actually told me he does this along with the rest of my huge family. Thats why he wants to make sure our food will be excellent because our family is all about great food and more than enough food lol
rahana316
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
A cash bar?? At your wedding??
At least you have a nice time and realized even more that you cant wait to marry FH!!
KitWisdom
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
Posted by Julybride08
Posted by KitWisdom
Wow, what a strange situation! My parents actually warned me about the whole giving gifts based on the reception thing too…apparently, in my extended family, it’s quite common to meet up in the bathroom with your checkbooks, decide how much the wedding was and give a monetary gift based on that! I couldn’t believe it when I heard it, but these are my crazy old relatives from Ireland so anything is possible with them
wow that is crazy!!!
I herd that in ireland they don't give money as gifts.
I guess that they’re trying to make the switch over to American customs, but are finding it a bit tricky
Espo22
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
LOL yeah i hear its very common, even FH told me he knows ppl who do this, i think he is the one who told me this actually lol.
Espo22
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
honestly cash gifts aren't that common in other states in the US
DLM107
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
WOW That is all I can really say right now!!
smplynluv
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
Posted by Espo22
honestly cash gifts aren't that common in other states in the US
Agreed, I think its totally a cultural thing. My family is all about money gifts and I've realized at occassions like my Sweet 16 that different cultures are even prone to giving different amounts.
Espo22
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
Posted by smplynluv
Posted by Espo22
honestly cash gifts aren't that common in other states in the US
Agreed, I think its totally a cultural thing. My family is all about money gifts and I've realized at occassions like my Sweet 16 that different cultures are even prone to giving different amounts.
yeah definitely a cultural thing too
bemyyoko
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
I've been to several cash bar events out of state. Weddings and otherwise. What's tacky to some is customary to others.
Look at it this way though, if you're on other websites that don't cater specifically to NY brides... don't their weddings all seem to cheap and too good to be true? It's because most of them do not have an open bar. While that part would totally annoy me... it's understandable. I'm not trying to argue or anything... just saying... we expect a lot more from a wedding here than people from other regions do.
As far as shoving the money in your wallet... that's lame. I can understand going to open an envelope to do a cash tip at the end of the night.... things happen. But to open your cards and flash the money is just rude.
AS
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
Posted by smplynluv
Posted by Espo22
honestly cash gifts aren't that common in other states in the US
Agreed, I think its totally a cultural thing. My family is all about money gifts and I've realized at occassions like my Sweet 16 that different cultures are even prone to giving different amounts.
My family too, all of my family is about money gifts, every occassion, every event , bday, wedding,eparty etc etc, we always give money
AS
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
I dont like the idea of a cash bar at a wedding, I have been on boat parties where there are cash bars, makes sense, but at a wedding , I dont know if guests would want to pay extra for that
Espo22
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
Posted by MPAS
Posted by smplynluv
Posted by Espo22
honestly cash gifts aren't that common in other states in the US
Agreed, I think its totally a cultural thing. My family is all about money gifts and I've realized at occassions like my Sweet 16 that different cultures are even prone to giving different amounts.
My family too, all of my family is about money gifts, every occassion, every event , bday, wedding,eparty etc etc, we always give money
yeah my family is the same way
luna bride x
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
wow..
GinaBambina08
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
Wow.....
GinaBambina08
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
Posted by mlny83
wow..
omg, I said the same thing as you, I didn't even read the posts before I posted I guess great minds think alike
futuremrsfab
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
wow that's some story!
Teamhurldon
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
I've been to alot of weddings all over this country and never have been to a cash bar one, I can understand it though for those who just dont have the funds, but to open the cards at the wedding is completely tacky!
Toucan311
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Re: Don't want to start an argument here but....
LOL at least its a wedding you'll never forget! I'm totally with you on the cash bar.