JT's parents have not offered us ANY help at all for our wedding. Not financially or emotionally, or anything at all. So JT and I have had it in our heads that we are going to be throwing our own rehearsal dinner. But yesterday, JT's sister called me to BS and she said to me in passing, 'Yeah, so my mom is checking out Windows on the Lake this week for the rehearsal dinner.' So I asked her whose rehearsal dinner and she said OUR'S! I was like W T F? Then she told me she already checked out a few places. I'm sorry, but I don't think that's right. How does she know we haven't planned something yet (which, ok, we haven't since we have plenty of time, but still)? Why in hell would she not tell us about this? I find this very strange and uncomfortable and I asked JT to talk to her, but I know he didn't. I almost do not want them to throw a rehearsal dinner for us because they have been so terrible to JT. I would rather them give us the money, we need that more. I'm sorry, but I don't like things being planned for ME with no input on my part. I think it's rude and inconsiderate. I'm just aggravated. Thanks for letting me vent.
Happybride2005
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Re: Don't you think this is odd? (vent)
It is a little odd that she didn't ask you if anything has been planned. Wouldn't she need to know how many people would be invited.
prncssrachel
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I know, right? They're just so weird. I mean, I think she's doing it with good intentions, I don't think she is trying to be a pain in the a$$, but I'm still annoyed. It's like, it doesn't matter what we want or what we planned on doing because now that they've FINALLY decided to do something for us, we should drop everything we were going to do and run and jump at the chance for them to do something for us. It almost seems like too little too late. They have had TWO YEARS to do something. AND she told me like 2 months ago she wanted to buy my pots and pans from my registry and I told her not to because they are WAY too much money for one person to buy (what was I thinking?), but no she insisted she was buying them for us NOW. Well, PS- she never bought them and won't. So she probably won't even throw us a party, anyway in the end. ARGH!
FTRBRIDE
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Re: Don't you think this is odd? (vent)
unfortunately, i know exactly how you feel. my FH's parents are divorced and remarried. Nobody has offered any help for the wedding. His mom went ahead and planned the entire rehearsal dinner- one that neither of us are interested in having at all. First off, rehearsal dinners are something that aren't done in my family (i'm Jewish and he is not, so possibly this could be one of those interfaith issues). Most of our wedding party consists of our college friends who now live all over the place...we didn't want them to feel obligated to come in and have to stay over for an additional night. Not to mention that she told us that this is her 'gift' to us, AKA no help with the house that she knows we're trying very hard to save for. We told her that we'd rather have the money, but then she got all upset so we caved. I feel your pain- I don't even want to go to the dumb party.
SFP0214
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Re: Don't you think this is odd? (vent)
i don't know why we get no input on the RD... fh's dad is from NJ and doesn't even know long island.. He is like 'my friend owns a restraunt in huntington and I want to have it there'... Umm have you ever seen this place...NO... whatever I guess it doesn't matter that FH and I wanted to have it at the George washington manor... OH well as long as it is not cheesy.. he's paying for it... alond with $1,400 for the reception... don't even get me started on that...
FTRBRIDE
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Posted by SFP0214
i don't know why we get no input on the RD... fh's dad is from NJ and doesn't even know long island.. He is like 'my friend owns a restraunt in huntington and I want to have it there'... Umm have you ever seen this place...NO... whatever I guess it doesn't matter that FH and I wanted to have it at the George washington manor... OH well as long as it is not cheesy.. he's paying for it... alond with $1,400 for the reception... don't even get me started on that...
i think it's too late...i think we've all gotten started. Hey, you got $1400 more from your FIL than me. We wanted to have our RD (if we were going to have one at all) at the restaurant where we had our first date. It would have meant something nice to us, but instead it is at a FH's beach club (food = not good).
prncssrachel
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Yeah, well at our engagement party, that his parents showed up 2 hours late for with no phone call, we didn't even get a card from them. AND they ate before they came so they refused all the food we offered them at the party. I don't get them. And now all this plannign behind our backs. It's like, hello, this is OUR wedding. You have nothing to do with it other than the fact that you conceived the groom 25 years ago and that was the last good thing you did for him
SFP0214
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just looked at the website for the place and ...
Decor of the place (especialy chairs)= not good either
prncssrachel
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Not for nothing, but we live on the beach and are getting married fourth of july weekend. We wanted to do a clam bake on the beach and we were so excited about it. I think I am going to have JT tell her that we already planned the party and that they should have told us they were doing it, but it's already set.
FTRBRIDE
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Posted by 121502
Not for nothing, but we live on the beach and are getting married fourth of july weekend. We wanted to do a clam bake on the beach and we were so excited about it. I think I am going to have JT tell her that we already planned the party and that they should have told us they were doing it, but it's already set.
I absolutely think that you should. A clam bake on the beach July 4th weekend sounds absolutely perfect.
121502- what restaurant in Huntington? (I go to school in Huntington, I could check it out for you on Monday)
prncssrachel
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That was SFP0214 with the restaurant in Huntington
SFP0214
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Panama Hatties... I attached the link The main room looks cool but when you go to the banquet section.. I can only focus on those chairs.. yuck..
we are going there on Oct. 31st for a meet the parents dinner... you know when mine meet his... So i guess I can check ithe food out then.. Have you ever seen it? Or been there?
Funny cuz his last name is Faulkner... so it is 'Meet the Fockers'.. Ha haPanama Hatties
prncssrachel
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Posted by SFP0214
Funny cuz his last name is Faulkner... so it is 'Meet the Fockers'.. Ha ha
FTRBRIDE
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Posted by SFP0214
Panama Hatties... I attached the link The main room looks cool but when you go to the banquet section.. I can only focus on those chairs.. yuck..
we are going there on Oct. 31st for a meet the parents dinner... you know when mine meet his... So i guess I can check ithe food out then.. Have you ever seen it? Or been there?
Funny cuz his last name is Faulkner... so it is 'Meet the Fockers'.. Ha haPanama Hatties
I haven't been there myself, but I pass it all of the time (on jericho tpke). My mom said that her and my dad went there a few years ago for dinner and the food and its presentation were really very good. I see what you mean about the chairs though- they are pretty horrible. Maybe you could do chair covers?
Hey, you never know- you could go there and decide that you love the food. I, on the other hand, already know that I hate the food/place where my RD is going to be.
SFP0214
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yeah that's no fun for you... I say screw them all.. its your day! Easier said than done.. i know...
prncssrachel
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See, now I wanted something really low key and fun and what not. I really did not want it at a hall or a restaurant.
SFP0214
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Posted by 121502
See, now I wanted something really low key and fun and what not. I really did not want it at a hall or a restaurant.
Yeah.. I agree you live on a beach.. Perfect for an awesome, fun, pretty beach themed party... GRRRR
JenniferLee111204
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Re: Don't you think this is odd? (vent)
Panama Hatties is one of the TOP rated restaurants in Zagats (for long island)
i have been there. it is fabulous. the food is outstanding. its pricey but worth the excursion.
let me put it to you this way. DO NOT ARGUE WITH YOUR DAD!!! if he wants to have it there. DO IT!
jennifer
Maribelle7777
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I find that odd too. Talk to JT and see if he minds telling your mom not to bother, that you already booked a place and you know that you won't be able to get a refund back from it.
Because if she flaked out on the pots she insisted on getting, she may flake out on this too in the end.
sassy2611
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It must be something with any JT's mothers. My husbands name is JT and his mother was a PITA i couldn't stand her. She complained about everything and never ask if we needed help or anything else. I feel your pain i had many problems with my FMIL and i am still having trouble with her as my MIL. I am so sorry i hope history doesn't repeat it's self. I has to be something with the name. Best of luck, i hope things start to go better..
