Anyone else have to hear about the 'problems' with their upcoming showers? Mine is a surprise but between my mom, sister (maid of honor) and stepmother I have to listen to all of the drama- who did what, who didn't do anything, who is not helping etc... It is making me crazy. I finally called my best friend (also my Matron of Honor) this morning and told her to please work this stuff out. I cannot stand hearing it anymore. It is ruining the whole shower for me. The competition between these people is crazy. Sorry just venting. I know, I know I should not let anyone talk to me about it. But it just happens.
NovemberSue
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Re: Drama and your shower
I haven't heard any drama yet but it might be a little early for me. I know that they are trying to plan something but I think its in the beginning stage right now. The whispers just started. Let them work it out on their own. I'm sure it will be fine.
kim
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Re: Drama and your shower
OH yes! Even though its a suprise, my mom has been telling me all the things she's dissapointed about - how the invitations weren't the way she would have liked from my bridesmaids, who's not coming etc...
I feel like I have enough to worry about, I dont want to stress about this too!
Casey10
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Re: Drama and your shower
I too had many dramas for my shower..I definantly feel for you, I knew how much it was costing, who wasnt helping physically or financially...and it isnt fair. I have warned my friends who recently got engaged to set the ground rules early.....I wish I had told everyone..that it is nice if they want to throw me a shower..but I dont want to be the one that everyone complains to. Too many dramas...Sorry you are going through this!
taraalissa
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Re: Drama and your shower
My mother has been complaining about who is doing what, who is not putting in enough or any money, etc. Its no longer a surprise since my mom lives in Florida and is flying in and staying with me for the shower. The list goes on and on. I have not had a very good shower experience so far either.
shamma
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Re: Drama and your shower
It seems like it is unavoidable. After a while they stopped bothering me, b/c I told them if they continue they can just cancel or I will not show up. Hope all goes well. Sometime you just have to turn a deaf ear to these things.
Happy planning
dora
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Re: Drama and your shower
I strting hearing bits and pieces about it -- everybody in the bridal party wants to do it/be involved --> until it comes time to pay up & get stuff done.... It's the standard complaints...
I didn't even want a bridal shower --> all I wanted was a bachelorette party --> but my MOH (who'd my sister) insisted that you have to have one. Then I told her - 'Fine - then make it a lingerie shower' (me & my FI are over 30 and have been living together for over a year --> I don't need household stuff, and opening up gifts of dirty underwear is hysterical) --> but she said that was a no-no too.
At the end of the day - I'd love to be flown to Amsterdam for an out-of-control batchlorette party --> but that ain't happening in this lifetime -- so I told her PLEASE don't spend money on this. A backyard barbeque is fine for me... who knows if they'll listen...
What can you do? Now I know how my FI feels --> I've been planning everything & he mostly just goes along with whatever I want (except when it comes to music & food)
JudyBee
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Re: Drama and your shower
Ladies, please do not worry about your shower.
Rest assured those involved WILL work it out. They have to. This is the beginning of the special days ahead.
Unfortunately, it seems as though most brides seem to 'accidently' get involved in the shower preparations because the invitation list is coming from you.
Just learn to relax and stay out of the planning. If the right people are throwing you shower, then it will be a success.
I had my shower two weeks ago and it was fantastic. My sisters did a good job.
Just think of all the GREAT presents you will receive.
Niecey
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Re: Drama and your shower
This is such a great post. Great to know I am not alone! JudyBee you advice sounds great but it is a lot easier said than done.
This shower has so much DRAMA!
My mom has tried to keep alot for me and keep me uninvolved but I know her too well and can see right thru it. I try to stay out and like some of the previos poster's I have spoke with my MOH and some BM and asked them to help out and make the peace. My mom is trying so hard to make it wonderful for my with surprises but the problem is she tries to please everyone esp. the in-laws and then she winds up getting burned in the process.
For me I think it is just the beginning of a wonderful life of family squabbles!
I want to say more but I fear my in-laws may be spying on me on this site (the have recentlylearned how to use the internet and are on all day long)! I think I have to get a secret screen name and post no pictures so I can vent too.
michele31
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Re: Drama and your shower
Welcome fellow 'please get this over with' brides...you have made me feel better, plus my 1-hour massage I have scheduled for Friday at 10am
my sister didn't involve ANYONE...and my shower was a complete bust...my best friend (BM) wasn't invited and my other BM was never contacted about it (only the invite)
the invites were flyers...folded with a stamp and label on them...no envelope...and this from an art teacher...who boasts about being so artsy and creative...
I am SO glad my shower is done and over with...the best part is bringing all the gifts home afterwards...:)
chmlengr
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Re: Drama and your shower
I knew about my shower and it was a big mistake. Actually, my friends didn't know I knew, however, my mom and sister (maid of honor) knew I knew. Talk about drama!! My best friend from High School made my sister miserable during the entire planning process. It was a nightmare to calm my sister down but not be able to say anything to my friends because they thought I didn't know about it. Like someone else said before, everything will work out, just sit back and stay out of the planning. I wish I did, however, it was a beautiful event and everything worked out just fine.
Cindy
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Re: Drama and your shower
I can TOTALLY relate to this post!! ALL of the drama came from FH's family. His cousins needed to bring their baby to an elegant restaurant to breast feed, my mother cut his mothers list down to twenty when his mother didnt even call to offer any assistance and some of his cousins responded yes and didnt show up or send a gift and my mom had to pay for their fifty dollar plate anyway. Nasty phone calls responding to my shower from his cousins, etc. Do I have to go on??? I am trying to take it from where it is coming from. I got wind of alot of this and it upset me terribly. Everybody just try to hang in there and know you are not alone!!
Cindy
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Bride to be
I hear you about secret screen names and spys...lol
JennK
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Not that I am glad other people are going through this, but I am glad to know Im not the only one with these issues. My shower is this upcoming Sunday (I have a crazy work schedule so they had to tell me so I could take the day off). Anyway, before then, I have to demote my MOH to BM. She hasnt done anything for the shower, while another BM has done everything. I dont think its fair to me or to the rest of the bridal party that my MOH is not helping, not communicating, complaining, etc... Even though Im excited about my shower, Im looking forward to it being over at the same time!!
michele31
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Re: Drama and your shower
I cannot believe that a bridal shower can bring so many problems. How on Earth do people get married without so much stress and drama? Thanks for letting me know that we are all in this together
