E-Party?

RobbiesGirl Posted: Jun 05, 2007 01:43 PM

E-Party?

My FH's mother offered to give us a small eParty which I thought was extremely nice of her. But my mom hates these things, she thinks that you shouldn't ask eveyone to keep giving you gifts... Do you think that I should do the party or not? Thanks for your comments!

TheFutureMrsM Posted: Jun 05, 2007 01:52 PM

Re: E-Party?

I am having an E-Party, One of the main reasons we are doing this is for our grandparents, It will be a nice party for them, They feel that 08 is so far away, and if i was 86 years old i guess i would feel that way to. Both our families are looking forward to this event.

People will either buy you gifts or give u a small amount of $, depending. Its nice to get gifts but if its going to be a small party then you really shouldnt worry about it.

bemyyoko Posted: Jun 05, 2007 01:56 PM

Re: E-Party?

we were originally going to have one, and then my dad vetoed it b/c of the same reasons.

here's my suggestion, it works out nicely...
Do not have an 'engagement party' have a family BBQ and at the BBQ you can announce your engagement. that way no one feels like they have to bring a gift. and you still get to join the families.
(people will also sort of 'know' that it's for your engagement and some may bring gifts but it should appease your mom this way)

sassygirl9 Posted: Jun 05, 2007 01:56 PM

Re: E-Party?

that's very nice of your mom

well, you could put something like:
'your attendance is our gift' or the 'the greatest gift is you being there' if you don't want people to give.

I think it's fine.

have one, you only get married once

Luvbsb4eva Posted: Jun 05, 2007 01:57 PM

Re: E-Party?

I'm not having one, but that's only because all of my family is here and all of FH's family is in Pittsburgh, PA... it makes it kinda tough for the 2 families to get together, and then where do we have it? Everyone is willing to travel for the wedding, but it might be too much of a hassle for just an engagement party... and we're so busy with work and school too... we both decided we didn't need one and whoever wanted to give us engagement gifts would do so anyways.

However, if we did live close to each other I would definately want one! I kinda feel left out, lol... so I say sure, have one!

NicoleBell Posted: Jun 05, 2007 01:58 PM

Re: E-Party?

I felt similar to you Katie, that's why we didnt have one. I feel like its so much with the bridal shower, bachelorette party, AND the wedding. I just feel a bit awkward about all that fuss and all the expenses. But each to his own, ya know.? We did an informal night out at the bar w/our friends instead, so that it was still an engagement celebration, but no gifts were expected or anything like that. But hey if FMIL is offering....!

Chanwich Posted: Jun 05, 2007 02:06 PM

Re: E-Party?

We aren't going to have one, mainly for financial reasons. I would rather have both families help out for the cost of the actual wedding and forego the engagement party. I think the wedding will be party enough for everyone. Everyone in my family knows this and is OK with it, and FH and his family didn't even realize that so many people have engagement parties at all, so everyone is OK with not having one. So I say that if you really want one and they are willing to pay, then definitely go for it! But if you are unsure about it, then maybe your in laws would be willing to put that money towards something for your wedding, like one of your vendors.

RobbiesGirl Posted: Jun 05, 2007 02:19 PM

Re: E-Party?

Thanks everyone, you always give great advise!

JsPrincess Posted: Jun 05, 2007 05:02 PM

Re: E-Party?

im having an e party in my backyard. it's mostly for friends and since our friends, especially his, are pretty young backyard parties are common. its cost effective even with having it catered. and my theme is boho with brilliant colors everywhere. there will be lots of alcohol and food so that's all that matters lol.

Bongos815 Posted: Jun 05, 2007 08:58 PM

Re: E-Party?

I was in the exact same situation.

My fiance's family is small and typically has things like this. My family is big and I've never been to an engagement party for anyone in my family.

As I said, this is not a tradition in my family and my parents felt that my family would be traveling and giving enough between the shower and the wedding and it was unnecessary to ask people to come and even though you don't need to bring a gift I know my family all would.

On the other hand my fiance knew that all his family would be giving us gifts and would expect a little party at least so he thought it would be rude not to at least have something a little formal for them as a thanks to them.

Anyway, what we wound up doing was having a small party with just his side of the family and my immediate family. It was casual and worked out nicely. His family was more than happy to come, and I didn't have to inconvenience anyone in my family.
Plus, I still got cards and a few checks from aunts and uncles on my side but they never expected an e-party because no one in the family ever has them.

This worked out well for us. Good luck whatever you do I'm sure it will work out well for you too!