Hi there! I am having an arguement with my mother. Her and my father threw me and my FI an engagement party at their house with about 100 people there. Most people brought gifts. Now, my FMIL and FSIL want to throw me a shower but my mother is not cooperating and says it's wrong because it's like asking for gifts. She's being so difficult and told my FI that she's only going to invite a few people because she doesn't want to seem as if I'm asking for gifts. I am really hurt by this!
Jenn524
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
I am having both. My E-party was last July and my shower will be sometime between now and May 24. I don't see anything wrong with having both.
EvenEdan
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
You can so totally have both, I am! I agree with Meg though, I wouldn't be comfortable with a Jack & Jill shower if I had an engagement party, it does seem redundant!
karenJ
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
Definitly have both. Guests actually expect an invitation to both. It is up to the guests on what they want to give.
Karen
cheshe
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
I was having the same argument with my FMIL. My mom thought we could have both, but my FMIL doesn't believe we can have both. It was so stressful to decide if we should have an e-party and the type (whether small or big) that we just decided not to have one. My FMIL thought it was shelfish to have both. But, I don't agree with her, I think you can have both.
prncssrachel
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
Hi Merf, My mother told me the same thing, and to be honest, FH and I thought that having both and e-party and a shower would be asking a lot of our guests. We also did not send out engagement announcements because we did not want people to feel obligated to buy us gifts. What we did do instead was have a brunch at my parents' house for our immediate families to meet. We ended up receiving all of our china just from our immediate family! I would do what you feel is right, though. In the end, if people don't want to buy another gift for a shower, they just won't go.
DecBride04
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
I am totally having BOTH The E-party is not intended to get gifts, but people do give because they love you. My E-party is in two weeks, I am so excited. The shower is intended to be the time to recieve gifts and people usually take off the from the registery. Tell Mom 'it is your time to shine and have fun' If people give gifts that is at their descretion... Not that it is expected My shower will be next year some time...I hope it is a surprise, but of course all us Brides know we will have one.
balilove
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
Merf, you can have an e-party and a shower. I'm not sure where your mother is getting the idea it is for gifts..sounds like she is projecting her own feelings about it onto you. I think it is very nice that your FMIL and FSIL want to give you a shower. Best of Luck.
elyse41177
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
You can have both as well as more thn one shower which is more partying as well as gifts..lol
merf99
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
Thanks everyone. I need to talk to my mom about this asap. I will have to explain this all to her again!
DaniRN
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
Both for me!
112903
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
In my opinion i wouldn't do both. I just don't think it is right, unless there is a long time frame between e-paty and shower. We had friends that had e-party 1 year and a year and a 1/2later was the shower and the wedding that isn't so bad. but i think everything cramed in to one is to much. Sorry
