Hi there! I am having an arguement with my mother. Her and my father threw me and my FI an engagement party at their house with about 100 people there. Most people brought gifts. Now, my FMIL and FSIL want to throw me a shower but my mother is not cooperating and says it's wrong because it's like asking for gifts. She's being so difficult and told my FI that she's only going to invite a few people because she doesn't want to seem as if I'm asking for gifts. I am really hurt by this!
Ronnie&Theresa
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
I am having a e party this year..
My shower is next year which will be Jack and Jill..
I dare someoen to tell me that I can't have them BOTH..
I DARE!
eroxgirl
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
T, you can't have both! There, I said it!
My best friend's MIL said that to her, but fortunately, she didn't pay her MIL any mind. However, her MIL insisted that we not put registry cards in the invitations to her guests, because they had already given gifts. She told her MIL that she was not throwing her own shower, the BP was, and it was completely up to us to do it. One has nothing to do with the other IMO.
Sage10.03
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
I am DEFINITELY haveing both!
cw0904
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
I am having the eparty in less than 45 days and I dont' know when my shower will be but I better be surprised is all I am asking for! My mother never second guessed the shower and won't from what I have been hearing.
MarcellaBella
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
I had my eparty last august and my MOH is throwing my shower sometime this summer..
you CAN have both.. that's ridiculous.
jennbaby
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
How long in between are they?
KarenK122
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
Of course you can have both. They have nothing to do with eachother. An engagement party is for congratulating you on your engagement and a shower is to get you ready for your new household and your new life together : ).
Have both and enjoy!!!
jennbaby
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
I would have both, but the longer in between the better. Go for it!
Meg9-20-02
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
I think it is pretty standard to have them both. If we didn't have an engagement party, I would've had a jack and jill shower. My shower ended up being just women. Personally, I felt that an engagement party and a jack and jill shower would have been a bit redundant. You definitely deserve a shower - Whether or not you had an engagment party!
tanbride
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
of course you can have both! I had an e-party in Oct and I think my shower sometime in the summer! I have been to numerous e-parties and showers both for the same person - I never knew it was frowned upon to have both! I have even sent e-gifts to close friends and family memebers even when they didn't have a party AND still gave a shower gift! Maybe I am too generous!
merf99
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
Thanks girls! My e-party was in October and I am assuming my shower will be towards the end of August/beginning of September! So it's almost a year in between! I need to explain this to my mom- I don't know why she is being like this!!
Rob-luvs-me
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
Traditionally people have both. It wasn't until I joined these boards that I have EVER heard people say oh you shouldn't have both. Actually traditionally your family is NOT supposed to throw the shower because it is supposed to be thrown by friends of the family to 'shower' gifts on the bride. Personally people seem to put too much emphasis on gifts and the fact that parties are just so the couple can ask for a handout. To me that thinking is simply obsurd (unless your only purpose for holding the party is to make money to pay for the wedding - and if this is your reason then you will be extremely dissappointed). These parties are supposed to be opportunities for you to celebrate with your friends and family. Gift are only incidental - if you get them great - but really your guests are there to celebrate with you.
Sassy
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
Of course you can have both. THere's enough space in between. People EXPECT you to have a shower. They want to get you gifts for your HM too
Valenia
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
I only had an e-party. Of course as far as I was concerned whether or not a shower was held was none of my business. It was up to the people around me to decide.
Marcela1654
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
I'm having both also.
merf99
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
I wouldn't care if people didn't come with gifts- that's not my intention. I just want to eat, drink and have fun and do stupid shower games with everyone. Especially people who I don't get to see that often and won't be able to really talk to at the wedding! Thanks again girls! It's making me feel better- I just need to talk to my mom. My BM's would probably have done something small for me but my FMIL sorta took it over and declared herself giving it for me. Which was nice but....
sanmik
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
Of course you can have both. I had engagement and expecting a shower (they ask me for a list). I've never heard you can't have both. I never knew anyone who didn't have both. It's being hosted by different people anyway - - HAVE A SHOWER - don't listen to mom.
AmyKay
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
I had a e-party (surprise) a bridal shower (I think) and a wedding all within 5 months
june262004
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Re: e-party and shower- can you have both?
I have never heard u cant have both. im having both!
