So I was wondering if you ladies who are interviewing have had any issues b/c of your e-rings? Especially if they're of a noticable size? I've noticed that people make negative comments so now I just don't wear it at all in interviews, but that p*sses me off. Has anyone else had a similar experience??
DnJ0809
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I never had this experience yet but I do remember in college, we had a seminar about going on interviews and it was advised that:
A) Ladies take their rings off and B) Guys wear a ring... if they aren't married, get a fake... supposedly it 'shows commitment'.
I don't understand why gender matters. It's not right.
coldasice217
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That's such crap, a fake wedding band on a guy also shows that he's unethical...but by all means, hire that
Nitania13
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Yeah it really ticks me off! I've gotten comments such as 'wow, I just prposed to my g/f and even I didn't get her that. Your FH is making me looke bad', 'why do you have to work', 'I bet you can't wait to have kids', etc. And then there are just the lingering looks that irk me the most. I never wear it anymore which is such a shame that ppl are so prejudice. Ignorant a$$es!
jbirney
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Posted by coldasice217
That's such crap, a fake wedding band on a guy also shows that he's unethical...but by all means, hire that
I totally agree!! Bull Sh@t!! we live in 2009 not 1960!!
megan_gallagher
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I've heard that too, and felt that I've been turned down because of it, well my old ring. Before we were engaged we had a 'joke' ring, two actually.. lol long story, they were both FAKE, but I wore them (one at a time) all the time because it was a bond. and interviewers would comment on my ring and I'd just say 'oh, we're not getting married for a while, I want to establish myself first' and for some reason I always felt like they didn't hire me because of it. Either because of the fact that I'd have to take time off or because of insurance.. meanwhile FH has an AMAZING plan, so I wouldn't change it. I don't care what anyone says though, I'm not taking my ring off to get a job, if they don't like the fact that I'm engaged, then whatever.
Nitania13
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I wish I could afford not to care, but I don't have that luxury. I don't lie about being engaged. I mean I refer to my b/f as my 'fiance' and if it comes up I say I'm engaged, but I find that gets a much better reaction then wearing an e-ring. It's like ppl are so bitter, w*t*f dude? What is wrong w/ppl.? Just b/c I'm married doesn't mean I'm gonna pop out a baby the instant I get hitched!
depoc1011
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hmmmm...i didnt even think of this!!!!!! we were told to not send out resumes and what not until april...april is coming so ...hmmi dont not want to wear it!!!! grrrrr why do there always have to be such issues....
i remember in a class once they did a seminar on how to dress, what kind of bag to bring...blah blah...and i was just so appallled!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was like..i am not a man and do not feel the need to sit, stand, talk, dress or shake a hand like one!!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
mini vent much??
leeserd
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I ALWAYS take it off! Here's the line of reasoning...from an employer's point of view, they see a young woman wearing an engagement or wedding ring and think 1) maternity leave that they have to pay for; 2) she wants a few weeks off for a honeymoon; 3) She's going to need to take days off when the baby's sick; 4) She's going to be too tired to focus on work because she's been up all night with the baby. You know why, because it's true. Men very often do not shoulder their fair share of child care duties and its the woman's career that suffers most often. If they see you instead as a single woman who is focused on her career then you're more likely to land the job. Sad but true.
depoc1011
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Posted by leeserd
I ALWAYS take it off! Here's the line of reasoning...from an employer's point of view, they see a young woman wearing an engagement or wedding ring and think 1) maternity leave that they have to pay for; 2) she wants a few weeks off for a honeymoon; 3) She's going to need to take days off when the baby's sick; 4) She's going to be too tired to focus on work because she's been up all night with the baby. You know why, because it's true. Men very often do not shoulder their fair share of child care duties and its the woman's career that suffers most often. If they see you instead as a single woman who is focused on her career then you're more likely to land the job. Sad but true.
you bring up VERY good points....but this not only annoys me (not you annoyiung me but the employer ) it just makes me angry and sad...when will we ever be allowed to be ourselves!! so sure hire me..then ill just trhow that ring on and be like yes in 2011 ill need two weeks offf thanks hhahahaha...like its not going to come out anyway....you think they would rather you be upfront and honest...but oh no!!!
ok again a mini vent...
not directed at you in any way shape or form!!!
Nitania13
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That's what I'm gonna do. Throw it on after I get the job. But what p*sses me off are the comments on the kind of ring I have. Aside from the prejudice over being engaged I find I get lots of snide comments over how nice it is or the size from men and women. What's up with the f**king competion? It's like they have pen*s envy! When they make stupid comments I'm so tempted to say 'if you think my ring is big the you should see my FH's pen*s...HUGE!!' I wonder what their reaction would be to that, lmao!!!
Espo22
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I know all the reasons why they would rather hire a single woman rather than a married woman but i don't care, ive worn mine and was fine. I mean hey they are going to find out I am married when working there lol so why hide it. And if its about promotions and all that then really won't matter bc that will be all after you get a job and by then they know. I wouldn't hide, its who i am and has to be accepted. PLUS ive had to say i am married in interviews since i gave references and then remembered that at my last job i had a different last name and if they call my old job they wont know me by new name so i had no choice but to tell them.
KRISTIND
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i dont wear mine i dont want them to think i am planning a wedding and preoccupied
BeLissa
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i was engaged years ago when i started my job where i am now, and when i interviewed i had my ring on. i started my job a week later and did not have my ring on at the time because it was being reset, and i got comments from my boss saying 'oh we thought you had an engagement ring on during your interview, and were hesitant to hire you because we thought you might be popping out kids soon'. i was like yeah, i am engaged, so.................. it was def f*cked up and employers DO think like this, its your choice how you want to handle it. Had i known that, i would not have worn my ring and when i got the job they woulda been the suckers, not me.
i get not wanting to hide it because by all means we should not have to, but it is what it is. this is the society we live in and i am not going to put myself out there to get passed over by an employer or forgo a great job oppurtunity because of it, sorry.
JillandJoe
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its so unethical for people interviewing you to ask about the ring, talk about the ring, the wedding, or kids. Thats your bussiness and does not reflect how qualified you are for the job.
Nitania13
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Posted by JillandJoe
its so unethical for people interviewing you to ask about the ring, talk about the ring, the wedding, or kids. Thats your bussiness and does not reflect how qualified you are for the job.
ITA! Unfortunately though, we live in an unethical society filled with people who prejudge and don't do the right things. That's why I don't wear mine. It's then a non-issue. I don't lie about being engaged. If it comes up I'll talk about it, I just don't want it to be glaring in their faces. People can't help but formulate opinions one way or the other when they see it and when I interview I want the focus to be on me, not that I'm getting married or could pop out a baby. Sadly, people seldom behave as they should and even fewer people have the integrity and self-awareness to realize that they're being unfair and set aside your engagement.
DnT2010
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i know it sounds crazy but i plan to take off my ring when i go on interviews for teaching positions this summer. people automatically think, getting married = having kids shortly after, which would make them less likely to hire you. its unfortunate but true.
caligirl87
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Whoa!!!! In CA this is completely ILLEGAL! Marriage a protected class like race or age and employers can get sued for MILLIONS if they cross this line. I'm not sure if this is a federal or state law (pretty sure it's state), but I'll look it up. Caz where I'm from questions about your marital status in an interview are OFF limits!!! Not offering a candidate a job because they are married or engaged is huge and could cost a lot of $$$. Maybe I can see if NY has a provision like this.
Nitania13
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I believe it's a federal law and it's definitely illegal in NY too, but that certainly doesn't stop people from discriminating from it. I mean, you have no proof and it's really hard to prove legally that that's why you didn't get a job (even though you know it's an issue).
candybride123
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To reply to the OP I feel very strongly that my 'big' diamond once even effected my salary. There was a time when I was working for a smaller company that had a lot of money out for overhead and when it was time for me to go from being an intern to a full time employee and we discussed my salary offer (which was totally off base/low) there was a remark made about how I could afford to hold out on a low salary until the business 'picked up' and that it would be worth it for me in the end. My bosses never knew much about my life but they did make quite a few little comments about the size of my ring. So, I couldn't help but feel that they figured eh she has $$ so we can try and screw her. I thought it was so messed up, I mean me and FH both make good salaries but we're def no Paris Hilton haha and god knows it's hard with tons of bills AND this wedding to pay for! My diamond is great but my FH worked hard and saved up for it... Money doesn't grow in trees for either of us.
And as far as the interview issue I think HELL YEAH bosses think oh she's getting married and will be preggers asap taking off time and collecting maternity leave $. And if your rock is big it's prob even worse like oh she'll prob quit work once she has babies b/c she doesn't need to work anyway...
