early morning vent

Once again I am awake and alone.

FH went out tonight.....

Went out with a co-worker that I dont trust him with anymore, and now its become this big to do and I seriously cant sleep anymore when he's out.

Basically it all started when he went out one night after work- and never came home.... it was such a nightmare- WAY too long to get into, but needless to say after the crying and the anger and the threats- he promised to fix- and then he proposed.

Since that time there have been, i suppose, what i would call slip ups, coming home super late- not answering his cell- super shady and to be quite honest inconsiderate.

Now ladies dont get me wrong, I really dont think he's doing something he shouldnt- however I just want him to touch base with me- or come home when he says- be a man on his word if you will, and thats my biggest problem. If you say your going to be home at 12- be home at 12- not 4am on a week night when your fiance is a light sleeper w/o u - just be mindful and considerate u know?

Couple of weeks ago I put my foot down- i threatened our relationship said I wont stand for this now, or ever. He really realized how serious I felt about this and swore off late nights during the week and even haning out with a particular co-worker because he's a 'bad influence'.

but life is life and tonight he had to go out with his 'co-worker friend' because its his pre bachlor party- poker at his apt. innocent yes. but its these situations that are opportunites for me to trust and feel at ease.

what does he do? last i hear from him is at 10. I try and go to go bed- since i have work at 9- wake up at 1- call him and he doesnt answer.

Now given the circumstances I cant sleep and for half an hour my mind starts to wander and race and contemplate until he calls and starts to say i'm overracting- that he's on his way home.

so i'm releaved he obviously where he said he is but annoyed because he should know how serious i am about this and he should have called- so here i am spillin my guts out to you ladies at 2am.

sorry its so long.

I'm sorry... FM me if you want to talk more

That would make me super crazy.
I think you have every right to feel the way you do.
IMO it doesn't seem like he's taking you seriously when you say you won't stand for this.

pull a reverse on him, go out really late on a weeknight... and then don't come home.
You don't even have to go out OUT, just stay at a family members or something...
i know it sounds shady, and you shouldn't lie to your man or anything, and i'm not really condoning acting like this...
however, it might show him just how upsetting it can be when your loved one doesn't come home when they say they are.

I know that I freak out when FH is super late coming home from work, not because I don't trust him, but b/c i then start to worry about him.

If you can't trust him to be home when he says he'll be home... how can you trust him in other ways?

I'm sorry he's giving you grief. I hope you get some sleep soon.

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Posted by bemyyoko


That would make me super crazy.
I think you have every right to feel the way you do.
IMO it doesn't seem like he's taking you seriously when you say you won't stand for this.

pull a reverse on him, go out really late on a weeknight... and then don't come home.
You don't even have to go out OUT, just stay at a family members or something...
i know it sounds shady, and you shouldn't lie to your man or anything, and i'm not really condoning acting like this...
however, it might show him just how upsetting it can be when your loved one doesn't come home when they say they are.

I know that I freak out when FH is super late coming home from work, not because I don't trust me, but b/c i then start to worry about him.

If you can't trust him to be home when he says he'll be home... how can you trust him in other ways?

I'm sorry he's giving you grief. I hope you get some sleep soon.

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OMG...without stating a very long story.....
if you want to do a 'girls night' where we say we'll be home at 12 and don't come home till 5 or not at all...FM me. FH with his friend that I can't stand went to a Fantasy Football draft, he said he'd be home at 11 and at 5am he wasn't home...I know how you feel.

I think a lot of us know how u feel. It's tough bc u don't want to come across as that nagging 'wife' but u still need to be able to show how upset/ pissed u are.

FH went out w/ his BB (butt buddy, that's what I nick-named him) one night and, surprise, surprise, came home late. I yelled at him. The next day, he went to work and told everyone that I am like the wife in Goodfellas (if you've seen the movie, u know the scene where the wife is waiting up late for him and then her mom flips out when he comes home and wife says, 'He's with his friends mom.') His co-workers/ friends still say that line to me every time I see them.

I think that u going out all night is 1 option. U could also completely ignore the fact that he went out and not say a word to him. Just not talk to him at all. Sometimes silence says so much. Maybe take a weekend off---stay w/ family or friends.

I used to be with someone who pulled all of that shady stuff all of the time. It sux waiting up wondering where he is, what he's doing. I'm sorry u r having to go through this.

FM me if u need to talk.

thanks so much for your lovin support.
I'm so sleepy!!!
I finally got some sleep after FH came home, i was actually in a better mood after reading the raunchy board!

i didnt even yell when get got home, he was actually super worried because he knew i had work and wasnt sleeping. He cuddled with me all night, kept saying sorry, told me all about his night.

he was massaging my head and was like sleeeep go to sleeep..lol..

the last time he pulled this I threatend to leave him and he had written me this huge email entitled 'how i plan to fix it'.

so last night when he was on his way home, when he told me he didnt understand because he had called me earlier in the night to check in- i told him that its until I feel comfortable not him- and until i feel complete trust its not ok to go dark.

plus when he got home he starts to tell me that he has our next week off planned with our wedding planning itinerary! deff the right thing to say!

ok gg and get ready for work!
thanks so much ladies!!!!

Well the thing is that he always does call and check in with me, and I with him- several times a day.

Its not that I dont trust him or even THINK that he's doing something he shouldnt, basically he's having a good time and doesnt 'get it' by not picking up right away,.

If you read what i had written earlier- you'd see that this is something I have been talking with him about and something he is working on,

The thing is that now he gets it-
This morning before I left for work he said to me ' we'll get through this and talk about it, and we'll work through it until you feel your comfortable and can trust me 100%- i'll do my part ok?.' he just said the right thing this morning without me pushing it out of him and it put my mind at ease.