Edited: So, do we basically give back the same gift that we receive?
suven
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Edited: So, do we basically give back the same gift that we receive?
I just want to see if we all do it the same way:
For someone else's wedding, do we basically give back the same wedding gift that we received?
Is this regardless of how 'grand' the wedding is?
Does that also hold for the shower?
What about restaurant versus home showers? Do you give gifts differently?
The person I am wondering about was a shower and wedding guest. She is marrying my husband's cousin. But, her behavior at my shower and at my wedding wasn't too great. She was pretty immature at my shower. At my wedding, she was very nasty to my maid of honor.
MrsK-in-June05
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Re: So, do we basically give back the same gift that we receive?
Ooooo, I just had this discussion!!!
I am going to a wedding in July for my old college roomie, but the wedding is in Ohio where a dollar can buy more. Where in NY no one gives less than like $200, I can get away with giving her $100. It sounds sheisty but it is the truth. $5 in Ohio buys a full meal where in NY it buys a soda! About the difference btwn a home shower and restaurant shower...I think that you should still judge the amount of the gift by a) how close of a friend the person is and b) what kind of gift you expect from her. And yes, you should spend more on a gift if it is a grand wedding because the cost of the food is higher. I learned that new yawkers judge the amount of the check by how grand the event is!
Eireann
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Re: So, do we basically give back the same gift that we receive?
I've attended two weddings since mine and yes, we've basically given the same gift. One of them I gave a bit more to because she had gotten me an engagement gift and I didn't get her one.
I give gifts according to my level of 'closeness' to the couple. I would never alter my gift depending on the place and how 'grand' it is. It was their choice to spend a lot of money on their wedding and it is not up to me to help them make it back.
chicagogal
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Re: So, do we basically give back the same gift that we receive?
Personally I've heard that this is the way it goes. Especially in my family where they keep track of things like this and never forget. Personally I give what I feel is a generous gift and what I can afford. Living outside of NYC I can definitely get away with giving less but it's still considered generous for these parts. LOL!
August2004
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Re: So, do we basically give back the same gift that we receive?
I could not agree with Eireann more. I give the gift based on how close I am with the person.
I would not increase or decrease my gift according to where someone had their wedding. It is their choice as to where they had their wedding and I don't need to foot the bill nor do I expect anyone to foot the bill when they come to my wedding.
RedHead
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Re: So, do we basically give back the same gift that we receive?
Are you serious! Give what you get.... I give from my heart and what i can afford....
I don't care where the wedding is or shower for that matter...If i have a close friend who is having a shower at hime and a distant friend that is having her shower at a restaurant....I am supposed to give more to the friend i hardly know???
chris605
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Re: So, do we basically give back the same gift that we receive?
I to heard that it goes that way - I know I have done that in the past....
suven
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Re: So, do we basically give back the same gift that we receive?
Posted by oct.2004bride
Are you serious! Give what you get....
I didn't mean to sound callous. The person who I need to start giving gifts to was a guest at my shower and at my wedding.
We are not close. But, she is marrying my husband's cousin.
She did a few things at both my shower, and at my wedding, that I did not appreciate. Basic, immature, trouble-making behaviour.
So, now I am wondering if I really need to give back what she gave me, or if I can skim a little
eogara
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Re: Edited: So, do we basically give back the same gift that we receive?
Posted by Eireann
I've attended two weddings since mine and yes, we've basically given the same gift. One of them I gave a bit more to because she had gotten me an engagement gift and I didn't get her one.
I give gifts according to my level of 'closeness' to the couple. I would never alter my gift depending on the place and how 'grand' it is. It was their choice to spend a lot of money on their wedding and it is not up to me to help them make it back.
I agree!
MayBride06
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Re: Edited: So, do we basically give back the same gift that we receive?
Posted by teach2be
I could not agree with Eireann more. I give the gift based on how close I am with the person.
I would not increase or decrease my gift according to where someone had their wedding. It is their choice as to where they had their wedding and I don't need to foot the bill nor do I expect anyone to foot the bill when they come to my wedding.
I agree. Just b/c someone is fortunate to afford a wedding at Oheka, does not mean that quests invited should be expected to give more b/c of it!! JMO.
november12003
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Re: Edited: So, do we basically give back the same gift that we receive?
Posted by Eireann
I give gifts according to my level of 'closeness' to the couple. I would never alter my gift depending on the place and how 'grand' it is. It was their choice to spend a lot of money on their wedding and it is not up to me to help them make it back.
You couldn't have said it better. It doesn't where it is, or how much it cost....that was the bride and groom's choice. You should give gifts based on your relationships and what you feel is appropriate, regardless of the place.
myasmom
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Re: Edited: So, do we basically give back the same gift that we receive?
More importantly base it on what you can afford I had one guest give 25.00. Her husband is unemployed and she is disabled. I didnt get upset even though the other guests gave the avg of 200.00. I just figured that it all they could do and it was better than nothing at all.
luckybride2004
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Re: Edited: So, do we basically give back the same gift that we receive?
I think the gift should not be only be based on what the other people give you. For example, travelling, being able to afford it, inflation, etc. In reality though, I think most people do base the gift on what was received just to be 'fair'.
butterfly20
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Re: Edited: So, do we basically give back the same gift that we receive?
Posted by Eireann
I've attended two weddings since mine and yes, we've basically given the same gift. One of them I gave a bit more to because she had gotten me an engagement gift and I didn't get her one.
I give gifts according to my level of 'closeness' to the couple. I would never alter my gift depending on the place and how 'grand' it is. It was their choice to spend a lot of money on their wedding and it is not up to me to help them make it back.
i agree 100%
fairylise
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Re: Edited: So, do we basically give back the same gift that we receive?
personally i would reciprocate the same wedding present that she gave you. as for the shower ... it dont think it makes a difference if the shower is @ a house or an outside place- the shower gift is really what you can and want to give, no matter what the couple will probably use it since it is on their registry! good luck!
nehaliasz
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Re: Edited: So, do we basically give back the same gift that we receive?
we were just having this conversation last night with two couples getting married in CA. We were explaining how usually registery gifts are given for showers and stuff, and then monitary gifts are typically given for the wedding itself. They never heard of such a thing... Any way, we were saying that we usually give depending upon how close we are with the couple and also how expensive the event is.
