Brides Helping Brides ™ - embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

Poorandinlove Posted: Apr 25, 2004 04:23 PM

embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

I am using a different name for this post cause im kind of shy about asking this..my boyfriend and i have been together for a while and we really wanna get engaged, get married--the whole nine yards. the thing is we r in love yet poor lol..we live together, pay all our own bills and support ourselves. the engagement ring, wedding, and anything associated with that is up to us completely to pay for.

my questions is..would it be really bad if he got me an engagement ring that is white gold with cubic zirconia diamonds. we went looking at rings and anything we like is wayyyy out of our price, even the rings for like 2500 or 3000 would put us in debt and im not even a jewelery kind of girl, im more a sweat pants kind of chick. plus to me it isnt about the ring its just about being with him.. he is worred that i will b sad w/o a 'real' diamond but i truly dont care about that. plus who would know?? they look so real. at least then i can get something of substantial size but yet looks real...i hate spending 1500 or even 2500 on a ring that i dont even 'love' anyway and is soo tiny and waste all that money. does any1 think this is a horrible idea? any opinions r appreciated...plus does any1 know where we can go look like rings like this, or does any1 have one??

Marisa&Brian Posted: Apr 25, 2004 04:28 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

you don't need a ring to get married. - You don't need a wedding to get married.- well, you need a ceremony, but you know what i'm getting at ......all you need is someone who's totally in love w/ you and it sounds like you have it - So tell him to propose to you w/ his CZ ring, and to buy you a 2 carat rock on you 50th wedding anniversary !
And DO NOT be embarassed !! -

Monkeybride Posted: Apr 25, 2004 04:29 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

Why not forgo the ring all together? If it's not something you care about then why spend any money on it at all.

Your BF could still do a romantic proposal and then you can announce your engagement officially.

When peopel ask about a ring just say we chose not to spend money on something I really wouldn't wear. In my opinion it's no one's business.

Just make sure you really don't want a ring. To me it was important but to some people it's not.

Also a friend of mine had a CZ centerstone. The rest was platinum and diamonds but she wanted a 'big' ring but her FH was laid off for 2 years and couldn't afford the 2 carat ring she wanted so she got CZ and seriously until she told me I had no idea.

You have to do what is right for you.

cj7305 Posted: Apr 25, 2004 04:30 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

no, it's not terrible! Why don't you get something you could afford now (cz) and then down the road, when you are more financially stable, you could switch it for a real stone. It is sad but true that money is a huge factor when it comes to weddings, do your best with whatever works for you. Good luck!

mattituckprincess Posted: Apr 25, 2004 04:31 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

a girlfriend of mine was sort of in the same boat. her husband now, proposed to her with a sapphire and gold ring. when they got married they got matching white gold bands and that's all she wears everyday now. then for future b-days anniversary's her husband got her the matching pieces to her sapphire ring (ie. earrings, necklace) she loved it! your'e right, the whole point of marriage is just that marriage! not the ring. if you don't have your heart set on it i would go for something different. jmo- i wouldn't do the cubic ring. i would pick your favorite stone or birthstone instead.

dm24angel Posted: Apr 25, 2004 04:33 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

Posted by cj7305

no, it's not terrible! Why don't you get something you could afford now (cz) and then down the road, when you are more financially stable, you could switch it for a real stone. It is sad but true that money is a huge factor when it comes to weddings, do your best with whatever works for you. Good luck!

I agree! Do whatever makes you happy...iff your OK with it, then who cares what ANYONE thinks! Dont waste your time on thinking of others...make yourselves happy first!!!!!!
I too didnt want a HUGE diamond, Im not like that, so I got a ring I loved, less quality then some and was in our budget comeplety.....I wish you luck!!!!!!!!!!

Boop2704 Posted: Apr 25, 2004 04:37 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

FM

nov04LIbride Posted: Apr 25, 2004 04:38 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

Posted by Monkeybride

Why not forgo the ring all together? If it's not something you care about then why spend any money on it at all.

Your BF could still do a romantic proposal and then you can announce your engagement officially.
You have to do what is right for you.

I agree--this isn't about the ring, or the wedding (though you wouldn't know that with all the planning talk!). If you love him and want to be with him you don't need a ring, or a wedding. If it is about being together, elope and buy a plain wedding band. As for CZ, I can tell the difference between a CZ and a real diamond, so IMO I would go without a ring rather than do a CZ, but that is just IMO...I have a ER I love, but I may not wear it after the wedding because the band I love doesn't go well with it...

desyre Posted: Apr 25, 2004 04:46 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

There is nothing wrong with it at all. The first engagement ring I got, my fiance brought from QVC. It was white gold and diamonique ring. I actually wear it more than my 'real' engagement ring. I get compliments on it all the time. I say go for it if you really want a ring. Check out QVC . There are so many beautiful rings to pick from at that site. I really hope you find something.

mosh913 Posted: Apr 25, 2004 04:59 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

I think that is a great idea. Plus, you don't have to tell anybody. Nobody ever sees an engagement ring and asks 'Is that real?' Have you ever thought about doing something besides a diamond? There are some beautiful colored stones that won't cost as much. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Corduroy94 Posted: Apr 25, 2004 05:00 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

Posted by desyre

There is nothing wrong with it at all. The first engagement ring I got, my fiance brought from QVC. It was white gold and diamonique ring. I actually wear it more than my 'real' engagement ring. I get compliments on it all the time. I say go for it if you really want a ring. Check out QVC . There are so many beautiful rings to pick from at that site. I really hope you find something.

I AGREE!! My friend got a diamonique ring & it is just as amazing! Don't be worried about what people think, it's not the ring that matters but the love & meaning attached to it.

JZNCK Posted: Apr 25, 2004 05:05 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

I think that is fine.. WHO CARES?? Your wearing it and as long as you love it and you both love eachother then that is all that matters.. they have some gorgeus CZ rings out there.. I would check out Diamonique on QVC, a friend of ours got hers from there and it is amazing.. GOOD LUCK.. and don't worry, it's your life and your finger

september2004 Posted: Apr 25, 2004 05:13 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

don't be embarrassed...

the costs associated with a wedding are insane, and i can't believe i actually got sucked into it. i didn't want a ring, and my father actually attempted to talk FH out of it. he felt is wouldn't feel 'real' if he didn't get me something, so we compromised.

lately, i have had some serious sticker shock with the amounts people pay for things and expect others to contribute. to each his/her own. do what you WANT to do, and feel NO shame. be happy you found someone to share the rest of your life with. that is THE most important thing...

just because i 'can' afford things, doesn't mean i will - people have all sorts of priorities, going into debt for a wedding is definitely not on my list. FH and i have been on our own since college and we have paid our own way, it's HARD in this area!

get engaged, be happy and do whatever YOU think is right! congratulations!

MrsBrad Posted: Apr 25, 2004 05:14 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

My FI is always complaining about hte .5 ring he got me, he says its too small even though I love it. But we do discuss upgraded to something larger -one day...maybe you can do that! But I think CZ is fine too!

diamondgrlie Posted: Apr 25, 2004 05:32 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

I think you two will be happy no matter what he put on your finger and thats all that counts. I have been with my FI for 6 years now and I was bugging him for 3 years for him to propose and he wouldnt because he wanted to get the perfect ring and I cant count how many times I told him that I wanted to hear the words 'will you marry me?' more than I wanted the ring. Finally he got me a beautiful ring but I would have been happy no matter what and if you are in love you will be too.

BriBri529 Posted: Apr 25, 2004 05:33 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

http://www.amazon.com/gp/browse.html/002-0442863-2676013?material=cubic-zirconia&node=3890321&index=jewelry&rank=%2Bprice&x=15&y=14

Here are some I found at Amazon.com-
Also try HSN.com and QVC.com They sell simulated diamonds that look SO real!!!

julz33 Posted: Apr 25, 2004 05:47 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

If I was you I would get some other stone instead of CZ. I really like sapphire!
Look at this pic:

$419 from Macys.

lillian771 Posted: Apr 25, 2004 05:51 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

I think that would be fine. You guys are in love, and the important thing is that you both want to get married, so why worry about the ring? and if you do someday feel upset about not having a 'real' ring, then you can always get one down the road. these days, you don't even need a diamond as an engagement ring. lots of women get different stones. i say go for it!!!

JimmysBride Posted: Apr 25, 2004 06:04 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

I think it's totally fine! My FH could have proposed to me with a ring pop and it wouldn't have mattered. What matters is the proposal and the fact that the both of want to spend the rest of your lives with each other. That's why I would never change the ring the he got me if I didn't like it (which I do) and I would never 'upgrade' the stone. It's not about that for me. And it sounds like it's not about that for you so please, just forget about the money issues, ring quality or type, and just follow your hearts!! Congrats on finding the one!

MegLehner Posted: Apr 25, 2004 06:59 PM

Re: embarrassed to ask but i will anyway..

I like the idea of getting a stone other than a diamond - like a sapphire or emerald. That way you wont feel like you are pretending to wear a diamond. One of my friends has an emerald e ring and it is beautiful. She is always getting compliments on it and everyone thinks it is very unique.