Engagement Daze: A Request for Advice Plus A Little Venting
After much research into RHs, we probably won't make the November 2008 date. We are probably going to choose a March 2009 date (not that far away) instead. There are several reasons. The first is money -- my FH's vision of a wedding is bigger than mine so that means more money so a March date should work better. However, I wasn't being realistic about how much it really costs to throw such a big party. (Now, I'm still not sold on a big wedding -- I like some of the elements: flowers, nice dress, nice cake, invitations -- but I could pass on some others. I like nice things but what I really want are great memories -- and I don't need a Viennese Table to make it the most special day of my life.
The second reason is timing. Now this sounds silly but I have been planning a big birthday party for myself (for a couple of years -- way before we even met). The party has evolved into a weekend-long party at a beach house. Both of our core family and friends are coming. It's in September and we are both concerned about asking these same people to fly back into NY in November. I bet you know what I've been thinking: get married during the birthday party. A couple of friends don't recommend it -- it's my birthday party not my wedding. A couple of friends say do it -- we both have our loved ones there. Also, my FH's first marriage has an anniversary date one day after the birthday party! (BTW, while my FH usually poo-poos the idea -- about once a day he admits that the idea is perfect).
The last reason is also timing related. Now that we are engaged I am looking at my FH very differently. I'm actually falling in love with him more deeply as I see him as a husband and not just a boyfriend. This man is going to be my rock and I'm overwhelmed by his generosity, patience, and love for me. Maybe I need more than a couple of months of engagement to let all of this hit me fully.
But here's the clincher -- we are at a point in our relationship where we are having difficulty being apart. We want to be married (I don't think living together will solve it) but we also want it to be special.
NewAimee
The second reason is timing. Now this sounds silly but I have been planning a big birthday party for myself (for a couple of years -- way before we even met). The party has evolved into a weekend-long party at a beach house. Both of our core family and friends are coming. It's in September and we are both concerned about asking these same people to fly back into NY in November. I bet you know what I've been thinking: get married during the birthday party. A couple of friends don't recommend it -- it's my birthday party not my wedding. A couple of friends say do it -- we both have our loved ones there. Also, my FH's first marriage has an anniversary date one day after the birthday party! (BTW, while my FH usually poo-poos the idea -- about once a day he admits that the idea is perfect).
The last reason is also timing related. Now that we are engaged I am looking at my FH very differently. I'm actually falling in love with him more deeply as I see him as a husband and not just a boyfriend. This man is going to be my rock and I'm overwhelmed by his generosity, patience, and love for me. Maybe I need more than a couple of months of engagement to let all of this hit me fully.
But here's the clincher -- we are at a point in our relationship where we are having difficulty being apart. We want to be married (I don't think living together will solve it) but we also want it to be special.
NewAimee
