I have a bunch of 'dumb' questions. The first is - Who usually throws them:
Bride's parent's or groom's parents or the couple? The last one we went to was thrown by the groom's parent's... should I be mad at my IL's for not throwing one for FH and I? (kidding, but kind of not).
We've been to 2 this year - I would imagine I'll also have to go to the Bridal showers and of course provide a wedding gift as well... just seems like a lot of money for all that and we are not close to the most recent invite at all (in fact they spelled FH's name wrong and addressed the envelop Mr. and Mrs. - so either they don't know that FH is divorced or that we are not married, but it's probably the first and they don't even know about me - that's how not close). What is the average gift amount for an engagement party? We only got e-gifts from a handful of people - most wouldn't recognize our engagement b/c FH didn't have his final decree in hand at the time of our engagement.
I/we didn't have an e-party - did we miss out? Is it better so as to finance the wedding with engagement gifts? I can't imagine doing an e-party 3 or 4 years after the engagement... but what is the concensus out there? None of my friends have had e-parties... just on his side they seem to do it. Should I still expect to have to attend a shower?
JPC1125
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Re: Engagement Parties
DH's parents paid but it was 'hosted' by both sets of parents. The invite did not list any names which I LOVE my MIL for...she was never one for being rude to my parents like that.
We recieved average 150 per card for our e-party. all in all, we got 6,000 to contribute toward our wedding budget. It helped greatly!
Everyone who came to our e-party, was invited to the shower/wedding. Its etiquette...unless there was a bitter fight which in part of our family's case, did happen.
sarahradio5
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Re: Engagement Parties
Posted by Mrs.Ptobe
I have a bunch of 'dumb' questions. The first is - Who usually throws them:
Bride's parent's or groom's parents or the couple? The last one we went to was thrown by the groom's parent's... should I be mad at my IL's for not throwing one for FH and I? (kidding, but kind of not).You CAN be mad... you have every right to feel however you want! I've heard of both sides throwing them. I think it's typical for the groom's parents to throw them, although MY parents threw ours (what else is new?? they seem to be the ones who do everything for us! although I'm the only one who appreciates it... although that's another thread. lol)
What is the average gift amount for an engagement party? I received anywhere from about $40 for a single guest to a $1000 gift from family. You can give cash, or go for the registry. Look for sales, and go for the cheaper items, like tea pots or something... totally acceptable to buy within your means, especially if you're not that close to them.
We only got e-gifts from a handful of people - most wouldn't recognize our engagement b/c FH didn't have his final decree in hand at the time of our engagement. That's ridiculous... who are they to judge? If you're engaged, you're engaged. Silly people.
I/we didn't have an e-party - did we miss out? Is it better so as to finance the wedding with engagement gifts? I can't imagine doing an e-party 3 or 4 years after the engagement... but what is the concensus out there? Technically, the point of the e-party isn't supposed to be to 'finance the wedding'. But it can help! For us, it went towards our house down payment. When are you getting married? If it's awhile away, you can probably justify an engagement party still. If you want to have one, you can call it 'A Celebration of Our Love' or something.
None of my friends have had e-parties... just on his side they seem to do it. Should I still expect to have to attend a shower? Usually people who have engagement parties also, down the line, also have bridal showers. Two different things. Is that what you were asking?
pixiechickie
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Re: Engagement Parties
I just had my engagement party and both sets of parents split the cost. I bought the favors (mums) for everyone. I am so glad we had it...it was a great time and a little taste of what the wedding will be. Im going to have my shower in aprilish, then comes the bachelorette party then the wedding. Do it all!
SoinLoveRwe2
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Re: Engagement Parties
We're having our E party next weekend- our parents chipped in a bit but FH & I are paying for most of it ourselves- as we will be for the wedding. We are waiting more than 2 years to get married so we wanted to celebrate now! Plus my sister had one this year so my family pretty much expected it. Everyone that is invited to the eparty will be invited to the wedding- but not everyone invited to the wedding was intived to the eparty--if that makes sense!! I don't expect to break even by any stretch of the imagination-- but we're not in it to make money- we figure we're only going to do it once we may as well do it right! Good luck to you!
jenn122397
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Re: Engagement Parties
all of my engaged friends have either had or are having engagement parties. I had one as well. Some people just dont like them, so if you feel that way, no I dont think you are missing out. We had a great time at ours just celebrating how happy we are and being with our friends and family for something good.
As to who throws them . . . traditionally it is the groom's family but these days tradition goes out the window.
My parents paid for most of mine but FH and I paid for the DJ, invitations, save the dates and decorations.
Mrs.Ptobe
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Re: Engagement Parties
I was talking to FH about this... I was already to say to his p's 'hey, where was my party' - I seriously am just kidding...
So FH said - I don't want an engagement party - I want a marriage at this point., he felt that our parent's taking us out to dinner to have a family celebration back when we first got engaged and the gifts that some chose to give us was enough. He was all about letting it go... as far as my concerns over financing the wedding, he and I agreed that we will worry about our mortgage and just use what we get in wedding gifts for the wedding - my p's are giving us a decent amount that should cover the hall with ceremony (including taxes and all that) - the gifts should cover the rest and whatever doesn't get covered -- I bought company stock last year so I made 15% off the bat - there's the overage. Who knows - maybe his p's will surprise us with a sizeable gift... his dad's pretty good about helping us fix up/upgrade the house so if anything the equity is a good gift too. The house will prepare us for a family - so at my age, that's the greater priority anyway... that's why I freak every so often about the financial stuff. Sometimes I'm torn about how much a wedding costs vs. putting the money where it will lead to lifelong happiness. FH made me feel better
Thanks though for sharing your experiences. It's always great to get varied opinions.
