When you got engaged, was your eparty pretty much a 'given'? Did you throw it yourselves, or did your parents (or in-laws) throw it for you?
Here's my situation: FH and I just got engaged on Mother's Day (yay!). Pretty quickly, I found out that both FH and my mom don't agree with eparties, basically because they don't think people should be obligated to buy us engagement gifts if they don't want to. That's fine with me, but with our wedding over a year away, I wanted to have a way to celebrate our engagement with close family and friends. I also wanted to give the members of the bridal party a chance to meet, since some of them don't already know one another.
Any suggestions? TIA!
(Edited for clarity)
ChrissynRicky
Posted:
Member since
Re: Eparty question
Our folks don't believe in them either. We at first wanted one, and then decided we didn't need one. Another couple that got engaged two months after us, and getting married one month before us, just had their EParty this weekend, and I listed as our friends and other guests said that EParties are pointless and just a way to raise money - which everyone thinks is BS b/c you should have a wedding w/in your means and not expect others to contribute. I don't feel that way personally, but hey, that's what my general public said, and I'm glad we didn't have one. We sent out STD's, and are going all out on the wedding, I'm sure we'll receive more gifts monetarily than the couple w/the EParty.
buggiegirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: Eparty question
our party was pretty much a given- fh is from here and my family is upstate, so we want everyone to meet. my parents are throwing it for us. we are definitely NOT going over the top- just a simple lunch at a restaurant, no dj and etc. we had to invite 150 people, so I am hoping for LOTS AND LOTS of no's!!
we got engaged march 11 and our eparty is june 12 fyi.
and- CONGRATS!!
ETA: we wanted to put on the invite no gifts please but thought it looked tacky- but we are definitely NOT doing this for $$ or gifts. I don't care if I get anything, I just hope our families have fun
Sonicstef
Posted:
Member since
Re: Eparty question
Maybe you can have something casual at your home? Like a barbeque or small cocktail party...and not specifically call it an engagemetn party? That way people can meet and mingle but not feel obliged to give you a gift.
mrsgtobe
Posted:
Member since
Re: Eparty question
Christine, your post made me feel so much better! I was starting to feel like I was the only future bride on earth who wasn't going to have an eparty. I'm glad to know there are other couples who have happily skipped over having an eparty! Thanks!
cindiella
Posted:
Member since
Re: Eparty question
I don't think e-parties are necessarily a given, but I think there are certain circumstances when they make a lot of sense. FH & I are having an e-party (it is being hosted by both families), but it's really more of a reason to get the two extended families and friends to meet each other. Our parents have only met once (FH's family do not live in the US) so needless to say the rest of the families have not really gotten a chance to meet each other (or us!) either. We'd actually really prefer that people NOT bring presents to the party - one of the reasons why we haven't registered for anything yet. We just want to have a small party, enjoy some really good food together, and give the families a chance to know us and each other a little better.
cindiella
Posted:
Member since
Re: Eparty question
I second the suggestion for a small party at home. That way you can control how casual or formal you want it and everyone will feel more comfortable and at ease in a person's home rather than in a hall or restaurant.
Soon2BMrsA
Posted:
Member since
Re: Eparty question
Posted by Sonicstef
Maybe you can have something casual at your home? Like a barbeque or small cocktail party...and not specifically call it an engagemetn party? That way people can meet and mingle but not feel obliged to give you a gift.
I agree, this is a good idea if you want something casual.
otherme
Posted:
Member since
Re: Eparty question
We got engaged on March 11 too!
We didn't have an E party pretty much for the reason that it didn't even occur to us and noone would have been able to pay for it anyway. FH and I and the parents have enough to pay for with the wedding and since we chose to be married sooner rather than later all our time went to planning the actual wedding. Perhaps if we had a longer engagement period, it would have been suggested, but as we only had 6 months before the wedding, it didn't really seem necessary. A few people have sent us engagement gifts anyway, which was a pleasant surprise!
marymoon
Posted:
Member since
Re: Eparty question
We were just going to have a dinner with immediate family to celebrate, and also invtethe BP. It hasn;t happenned yet. I'm trying to think of a timeframe anda plan for an e-party with just the closest family. it's still going to be about 50-60 people...(I have a HUGE family). I don't think an e-party is a given at all, but I do think it's customary to celebrate in some way at least with the parents and immediate fam on both sides
Summer05
Posted:
Member since
Re: Eparty question
Our parents were not all about the idea of having and e-party but our families had never met so we wanted to do something. We compromised and had a very informal bbq at our home. it was perfect.
jersee3380
Posted:
Member since
Re: Eparty question
Posted by Sonicstef
Maybe you can have something casual at your home? Like a barbeque or small cocktail party...and not specifically call it an engagemetn party? That way people can meet and mingle but not feel obliged to give you a gift.
this sounds like a good idea. i agree i think e-parties look like you're 'asking for something'.i would do a party and not necessarily call it an e-party but have a get together bbq and then make an announcement during the day.
mrsgtobe
Posted:
Member since
Re: Eparty question
Thanks for all of the suggestions. I was considering just having a BBQ or other informal get-together in lieu of an eparty, but I was just curious what others in the same situation were doing.
I definitely don't want people to feel like they have to give us engagement gifts...if they want to, great! If not, that's perfectly fine. Particularly in the case of my BP, they're already going to be spending extra $$$ on their dresses/tuxes for the wedding, so I wouldn't want them to feel like they needed to spend even more $$$ on an extra gift.
OK then, a non-eparty party it is!
(Edited for clarity...I really need to start proofreading before I post)
