err ventinggggg

so lately, i have NOT been myself. i'm always frustrated and upset with something. so i spoke to some friends whom are older and they said it's the FH making me this way. because when it comes to wedding planning, and discussing things and researching he sits on his a$$ plays the video games .. today we're sitting here - and he said 'should i call the dj?' i said 'finally? sure' he said 'now what do i have to do?' i said 'oh forget it' ... now you may think i'm over reacting.

but he says 'what should i do?' to EVERYTHING i ask him to do. or he DON'T do it at all. and it's not even a lot i ask him to do. the other day i asked him 'on your way to work, mail this letter out' i wake up, the letter is still sitting here.

i ask him to pick up his clothes on the floor & put them in the laundry baskets - no. they still end up all over.

i love him to death, but i am going nuts.

i personally think i just don't have a true friend like i did up in rochester, where i could just leave and forget about everything and relax, to here, where i realized my friends were fake & i sit home and try to do EVERYTHING on my own & then when i ask for help i don't get it, i get upset....

&& i'm super emotional lately. i cry at a song, or just a single thought of something. it's weird.


sorry it's so long. and it's a bunch of babble i'm sure.

but i just don't have anyone else to let this out to.

love you girls,
chand

for you... i know how you feel FH direves me nuts all the time ... he can never so what i am ask him to do the first time .. and sometimes i have to yell at him to finallyg et something done boys they suck!!

aww I understand you... For like two months all i did was nit-pick at FH and i was always mad at him and frustrated about something.. I dont live with him and i could only imagine how that adds to things..

Maybe you can MAKE him sit down and come up with a to do list.. and like a script of what he has to ask and say when he calls places. But at the same time make a list for yourself with him so he sees all that you are doing too

lol we have sat down & spoken about it.

we just did, about 10 minutes ago, and he's at the end of the bed, passed out.

so i came to vent. but i know he'll check this, so i have to come and delete my post later. lol

---

Posted by BellaLaz

i ask him to pick up his clothes on the floor & put them in the laundry baskets - no. they still end up all over.

---

oh and i know how you feel about this also we have 4 laundry baskets in our bedroom 4 and yet every morning i wake up to clothes on the floor right next to the laundry basket

---

Posted by Espo22

awww sorry to hear that but you need to stop doing things for him its the only way he will learn. See he is used to saying oh what do i do now and then you just end up doing it for him. I dont know what to do to get him to clean and all that bc FH is ocd and he is obsessive about things being clean and neat and in order but wait it has to be in HIS order lol

---

denise, you're lucky.

lmao.

he wasn't like this until we moved down here.

hmm first of all sorry that you feel this way!

second of all - kind of dont listen to you friends. . . think for yourself! i say this bc FH does things that i wont even tell my closest friends about bc i know they will be horrified (lol nothing scandalous just laziness) so i just dont tell them
i learned just a few years ago ( we haev been together NINE years) that sometimes i get mad at stuff bc i htink i SHOULD get mad at it. . .

for example, FH really didnt come to any vendors with me - at first i was all upset but then i thought 'ok i am going with my MOH, we make a dinner date out of it and have a great time' so i wasnt getting mad bc i was actually mad just bc i thought i SHOULD be mad!

so i guess i am saying pick and choose your battles - think of what REALLY gets you upset and then just work on dealing with that with him . . . maybe its annoying that he doesnt do dishes - but maybe doing dishes REALLY doesnt bother you so you can just do them yourself

BUT lets say you DETEST picking up clothes and he KNOWS that. . . then work on that with him. . .

dont let it get you down - i know a lot of girls . . once they get older have less and less friends. . . i mean i had like 20 best friends in HS - and now i have a few close friends . . . but sometimes i even feel distant from them - i think it is just a part of growing up and leading busier lives, i know that i can turn to them no matter what even though we dont see eachother all the time. . .

feel better!

---

Posted by blu6385


oh and i know how you feel about this also we have 4 laundry baskets in our bedroom 4 and yet every morning i wake up to clothes on the floor right next to the laundry basket

---

omg! we have 3 of them and it's the same thing!!!!!!!!!

---

Posted by branNjay

chando i think its time you come HOME!!!!!! I need to give you a lesson about putting you foot down.......like Roseanne said to Jackie 'do you think he(dan) just came like that??? no it took 18 years of training' LOL well it goes something like that! Things will get better and you guys have lots of time to get things done for the wedding......thats the good thing about bookng it out a year and a half...... If you need help with anything call me.... Love you lots!!! B-

---

Bran, I was totally thinking the other night 'I should just go up there alone one weekend and stay with my other family, i'll be alright then!'

I think that's my problem, i miss you guys too much .. I could always just come right into your room and we could vent to each other!!!! i don't have that anymore! :( -- Love you lots too!

Oh Chand - I know how you feel.... My friends have either moved away or I dumped them b/c they're fake too. I know what it's like to rely on your man for EVERYTHING...

At least you have us to vent to to just get it out and some of us you're close enough to to FM in private or talk on the phone... Hang in there and work with Justin. Sometimes men are SO clueless, they have to whistle while they poop so they know which end to wipe. It'll get better!

I think all FH's are like this. I don't even let Fh do anything. Cause I know if I want it done I have to do it myslef. I have basically been planning myself. and I'll ask him do you like this and he'll be like hmm yeah I guess. so I don't even take it into consideration anymore. the only thing he lieks to do it look at houses. I think he just wants to be married already...lol

Just talk to your FH and tell him your feeling overwhlemed and that he needs to start helping out. And see how that goes. Nothing is going to happen if you don't communicate. And if worse comes to worse take away the video games...

---

Posted by Julybride08

I think all FH's are like this. I don't even let Fh do anything. Cause I know if I want it done I have to do it myslef. I have basically been planning myself. and I'll ask him do you like this and he'll be like hmm yeah I guess. so I don't even take it into consideration anymore. the only thing he lieks to do it look at houses. I think he just wants to be married already...lol

Just talk to your FH and tell him your feeling overwhlemed and that he needs to start helping out. And see how that goes. Nothing is going to happen if you don't communicate. And if worse comes to worse take away the video games...

---

the houses part is right!

we found a house in rochester -- he's been on the computer with emails about it -- on the phone about it ALL week. wedding stuff. 'uh what?' lol i can't stand it.

you girls made me realize that i'm just being too much of a mom and i gotta 'chill' and enjoy the time ... but ughh im gonna have to smack him around a bit. lol

thanks girls...

I have the opposite problem. FH works alot, and i complain to him how he spreads himself so thin.
I am very lazy, and dont clean up, and make alot of messes, i can sleep all day if i could. FH is so hardworking and is always on the ball, im usually the one who is clueless about doing things. And he just ends up saying forget it, i'll take care of it.

---

Posted by jdienstag

I know what you mean since I got engaged I cry over everything, little things piss me off, and I don't have time for peoples opinions on EVERYTHING I do. We'll get through it. Drinks on the weekend help me

---

I know and it helps to come on here and vent to others who might have experienced the same thing.. makes me feel sane

Chand - is it time for some mimosas!?



Why don't you rent a good comedy - Anchorman, Dumb and Dumber, Scary Movie - grab some munchies, and relax a little bit.

Also, Tilde is right - sometimes we need to pick our battles better. My FH once accused me of being like his mother (a big nag), and I felt TERRIBLE! I don't wanna be the nitpicker, ya know? But then again, if my FH didn't pick up after himself, I'd probably withhold sex for a while

---

Posted by BellaLaz

---

Posted by Espo22

awww sorry to hear that but you need to stop doing things for him its the only way he will learn. See he is used to saying oh what do i do now and then you just end up doing it for him. I dont know what to do to get him to clean and all that bc FH is ocd and he is obsessive about things being clean and neat and in order but wait it has to be in HIS order lol

---

denise, you're lucky.

lmao.

he wasn't like this until we moved down here.

but his sister [fsil] said i have to stop being so nice to him and be a bytch.

---

Its good but its also BAD!!!! do you know what its like to constantly be up your *** about things lol...I am a person when i get home i will put my clothes on the bed or on the dresser or whatever, ill clean it later and it drives him nuts...He also has to have everything folded a specific way, and his closet it all according to designers, type of clothing item it is and colors...EVERY hanger has to face the same way, certain things need two hangers. It can get a bit annoying...He also has a thing that even if he is about to go to bed he has to make his bed and lay in it like that first and get underneath later...If i am about to go to bed i am not about to make my bed

and theres more, but see i am the opposite of whatever an ocd person is hahahaha..Well except with some things lol