err ventinggggg

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Posted by BellaLaz

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Posted by Julybride08

I think all FH's are like this. I don't even let Fh do anything. Cause I know if I want it done I have to do it myslef. I have basically been planning myself. and I'll ask him do you like this and he'll be like hmm yeah I guess. so I don't even take it into consideration anymore. the only thing he lieks to do it look at houses. I think he just wants to be married already...lol

Just talk to your FH and tell him your feeling overwhlemed and that he needs to start helping out. And see how that goes. Nothing is going to happen if you don't communicate. And if worse comes to worse take away the video games...

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the houses part is right!

we found a house in rochester -- he's been on the computer with emails about it -- on the phone about it ALL week. wedding stuff. 'uh what?' lol i can't stand it.

you girls made me realize that i'm just being too much of a mom and i gotta 'chill' and enjoy the time ... but ughh im gonna have to smack him around a bit. lol

thanks girls...

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Take it from a person who has been on the opposite side just stop doing things for him...He doesnt want to wash his clothes then fine he'll wash it himself in the end if nobody else will...If i know that someone is going to just pick up after me then its in my head and without doing it on purpose i let things go bc i know it will be done for me. But whenever i was left alone thats when i was a neat freak, and i would go crazy with cleaning and doing everything.

i wont yell -- ill ask him not to keep doing it

we only yell when we're fighting lol

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Posted by ant n tilde

hmm first of all sorry that you feel this way!

second of all - kind of dont listen to you friends. . . think for yourself! i say this bc FH does things that i wont even tell my closest friends about bc i know they will be horrified (lol nothing scandalous just laziness) so i just dont tell them
i learned just a few years ago ( we haev been together NINE years) that sometimes i get mad at stuff bc i htink i SHOULD get mad at it. . .

for example, FH really didnt come to any vendors with me - at first i was all upset but then i thought 'ok i am going with my MOH, we make a dinner date out of it and have a great time' so i wasnt getting mad bc i was actually mad just bc i thought i SHOULD be mad!

so i guess i am saying pick and choose your battles - think of what REALLY gets you upset and then just work on dealing with that with him . . . maybe its annoying that he doesnt do dishes - but maybe doing dishes REALLY doesnt bother you so you can just do them yourself

BUT lets say you DETEST picking up clothes and he KNOWS that. . . then work on that with him. . .

dont let it get you down - i know a lot of girls . . once they get older have less and less friends. . . i mean i had like 20 best friends in HS - and now i have a few close friends . . . but sometimes i even feel distant from them - i think it is just a part of growing up and leading busier lives, i know that i can turn to them no matter what even though we dont see eachother all the time. . .

feel better!

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SOOOOOO true, sometimes we get mad at things just bc we know its something our friends will be like omg you let him do that or whatever the case is. also true about everything else you said.

denise- i understand.

i gotta stop being mommy. lol

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Posted by BellaLaz

denise- i understand.

i gotta stop being mommy. lol

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hahaah yeah basically...FH and my mom gang up on me, one day they both started cleaning my room i seriously got sooo mad...They do this and then I could never find anything, like important papers too...You know how many times i needed a paper that was wedding related a number or something and couldn't find it...They drive me nuts lol.

BUt yeah just let him be for a little without doing things forhim and see what he does. Cook dinner and cook it for yourself only, do only your laundry and so on

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Posted by BellaLaz

so lately, i have NOT been myself. i'm always frustrated and upset with something. so i spoke to some friends whom are older and they said it's the FH making me this way. because when it comes to wedding planning, and discussing things and researching he sits on his a$$ plays the video games .. today we're sitting here - and he said 'should i call the dj?' i said 'finally? sure' he said 'now what do i have to do?' i said 'oh forget it' ... now you may think i'm over reacting.

but he says 'what should i do?' to EVERYTHING i ask him to do. or he DON'T do it at all. and it's not even a lot i ask him to do. the other day i asked him 'on your way to work, mail this letter out' i wake up, the letter is still sitting here.

i ask him to pick up his clothes on the floor & put them in the laundry baskets - no. they still end up all over.

i love him to death, but i am going nuts.

i personally think i just don't have a true friend like i did up in rochester, where i could just leave and forget about everything and relax, to here, where i realized my friends were fake & i sit home and try to do EVERYTHING on my own & then when i ask for help i don't get it, i get upset....

&& i'm super emotional lately. i cry at a song, or just a single thought of something. it's weird.


sorry it's so long. and it's a bunch of babble i'm sure.

but i just don't have anyone else to let this out to.

love you girls,
chand

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thought you needed some

I am starting to wonder if all men are this way.... I worked 10 hours on Saturday and when I came home I had to do 2 loads of laundry and vacuum up tumbleweeds of hair that his dumb cat leaves all over the apartment!!! Errrrr....men I hope you feel better!

I can only say for the wedding planning, but i really don't think guys have any clue what to do. I think they just want to get married, I dont think most are too caught up in the details. Fh will come with me willingly if i set up an appointment, but he wouldnt call and ask questions. Its more our thing than theirs (in some ways). He is offering to call... tell him what questions you want him to ask.. he probably really doesn't know what he should ask.

You are making the mistake of giving in and saying forget it. If he offers let him... you just have to guide him a little.

anyway, hope i didnt offend you!

I actually let FH take over when we have appointments...Hes great at talking lol and always has something to talk about with anybody...Somehow football and vegas always comes up when we met with people lol. Fh even says things to me like why didnt you talk, i am like hey i do all the research and you can do all the talking lol, if you want to take over i am more than glad to let you.