Etiquette Question?

I have a friend who is having a destination wedding. They got engaged in March and had a BIG Engagement party at Captain Bills...for which I gave a monetary gift (around 150).

Her shower is coming up and I was planning on spending around $125 (she bought me a china setting for mine).

That being said, I am not going to her wedding because its away and when I get back from my HM I have no time left, nor can I afford to go away again. She is coming to mine. Am I still required to give her another big wedding gift or is like $50 ok since I'm not going?

Thoughts?

I dont think you are 'required' to gift but... question is she coming to your wedding?
I would send the reply back with a check.

I cant go to one of my friends weddings and I just gave her $150. If I was going I would have gave around $300-$400.. but I figured since we are not going and they are not paying for us to be there $150 was generous enough. My own wedding has me broke, you can only do what you can afford!

IMO I think $50 is good.. You have been very generous for their engagement and for her upcoming shower

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Posted by BarbieGrl10

I dont think you are 'required' to gift but... question is she coming to your wedding?
I would send the reply back with a check.

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Yes she is...should i just wait to see what she gifts me? I didn't want to make it a tit for tat thing, know what I mean?

Unless should I just buy a smaller shower gift and then send her a decent check? I can't really afford to do both is kinda what I'm saying...

personally, if i was having a destination wedding, i wouldn't expect a big gift from those in attendants, let alone those who aren't going....it costs enough for people to travel to a destination wedding....i think $50 is fine for a gift for a non-attending guest.

I think you should give whatever you can afford. Like everyone said, you were very generous for her shower and engagement ! I think $50 is fine especially since you are planning your own wedding right now as well !

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Posted by KittyGags

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Posted by BarbieGrl10

I dont think you are 'required' to gift but... question is she coming to your wedding?
I would send the reply back with a check.

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Yes she is...should i just wait to see what she gifts me? I didn't want to make it a tit for tat thing, know what I mean?

Unless should I just buy a smaller shower gift and then send her a decent check? I can't really afford to do both is kinda what I'm saying...

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Yeah I know what you mean.... just give what you can afford... the $50 is fine hun

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Posted by DanielleAndMichael

personally, if i was having a destination wedding, i wouldn't expect a big gift from those in attendants, let alone those who aren't going....it costs enough for people to travel to a destination wedding....i think $50 is fine for a gift for a non-attending guest.

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ITA

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Posted by geegee827

I don't give monetary gifts when I'm not attending the wedding. Can you pick something nice off of her registry?

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Theres barely anything left on her registry as it is because she has the E party and the shower so EVERYYYYYYYYYYYTHING is gone...I'm about what to even give her for her shower. I'm thinking her Le Creuset baking sheet

I don't think you have to give her one, and if you do, it doesn't have to be much.

I was a bridesmaid in my bff's destination wedding, and I didn't give them a gift, because it cost me $1300 just to get there, plus my dress/shoes, etc. She understood and didn't expect anything from anyone.

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Posted by DanielleAndMichael

personally, if i was having a destination wedding, i wouldn't expect a big gift from those in attendants, let alone those who aren't going....it costs enough for people to travel to a destination wedding....i think $50 is fine for a gift for a non-attending guest.

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ita