etiquitte question - pls help

Clover23 Posted: May 08, 2009 03:27 PM

etiquitte question - pls help

So my mom just called my office panicking that someone told her it is tradition for the bride's family to have the groom's family over for dinner after the engagement. Mind you, I have two married sisters, and she never heard this before. Anyone know anything about this?

Thanks!!!

Lsorrent Posted: May 08, 2009 03:29 PM

Re: etiquitte question - pls help

I think this is a VERY OLD TRADITION. I think it was so the families could meet and get to know each other. We didn't do this, but our parents already knew each other pretty well.

stinenandy2010 Posted: May 08, 2009 03:30 PM

Re: etiquitte question - pls help

when we got engaged my parents did take Fh's parents out to dinner....more of just a congrats dinner, plus they are already friends with his parents so it wasn't a big deal

but i think if they haven't met yet it might be a nice idea to have them over for dinner so both sides can meet.

christine2010 Posted: May 08, 2009 03:39 PM

Re: etiquitte question - pls help

Posted by Lsorrent

I think this is a VERY OLD TRADITION. I think it was so the families could meet and get to know each other. We didn't do this, but our parents already knew each other pretty well.

same with us

soontobemrsag Posted: May 08, 2009 03:44 PM

Re: etiquitte question - pls help

ive heard that but in my family thats not happening. i havent hjeard it lately but i think its old.

CappyGirl Posted: May 08, 2009 03:47 PM

Re: etiquitte question - pls help

I didn't hear that one, but my mom called me in a panic because apparently Emily Post etiquette says that the grooms mother is supposed to phone the bride's mother right after the engagement to congratulate them - and this did not happen.

MayBride2010 Posted: May 08, 2009 03:50 PM

Re: etiquitte question - pls help

Posted by christine2010

Posted by Lsorrent

I think this is a VERY OLD TRADITION. I think it was so the families could meet and get to know each other. We didn't do this, but our parents already knew each other pretty well.

same with us

Same here!

megan_gallagher Posted: May 08, 2009 03:53 PM

Re: etiquitte question - pls help

its an OLD tradition... we had FHs family over a few times... and my parents have been there a few times.
Actually the way our mothers met... ready for this?

FH's father dropped his mother at the mass. mall (where my mother works in the JCP salon)
my mother is finishing with a customer and this women walks up to her and says (with a HEAVY italian accent) 'hello' my mother says 'hi' and the women replies 'you don't recognize me' and my mother says 'no' so she says 'look closer, do i look like someone' my mother said 'no' she says 'I'm a joeys mother' and my mother said 'who' and she said their last name and my mother said 'ohhh' then called me at work where I got mad that his mother did that! and we all know FH as Joe, his family calls him joey.

Clover23 Posted: May 08, 2009 04:00 PM

Re: etiquitte question - pls help

Posted by CappyGirl

I didn't hear that one, but my mom called me in a panic because apparently Emily Post etiquette says that the grooms mother is supposed to phone the bride's mother right after the engagement to congratulate them - and this did not happen.

LOL I've heard of that from an etiquite book and when my mom called me with this panic question, I told her about that one and she's like 'oh I never heard of that either!'

Espo22 Posted: May 08, 2009 04:05 PM

Re: etiquitte question - pls help

Well nowadays it seems like the couples parents do it either way and doesn't necessarily have to be at the brides parents home.

After we got engaged, i do think my parents called his parents, but we all went out to a restaurant for dinner not at parents home. My parents did pay for it though, his parents wanted to put in but my dad had asked the waiter not to bring the check to the table and that he would pay for it. It's weird bc my parents aren't exactly traditional lol sometimes quite opposite but when it comes to this they were lol

JAAMS Posted: May 08, 2009 04:27 PM

Re: etiquitte question - pls help

It's an old tradition. And IMO, like with any tradition, it's your choice if you want to keep it going or not.

StaceYums81 Posted: May 08, 2009 06:42 PM

Re: etiquitte question - pls help

Don't know anything about it - we didn't do anything of the sort - my parents prob won't meet his parents until the rehearsal dinner

Future Mrs H Posted: May 08, 2009 06:48 PM

Re: etiquitte question - pls help

my parents met FH mom when we first started talking about getting married- about 6 months after we started dating. I am glad they did then because 3 weeks after we got engaged FMIL had a seizure- went into cardiac arrest and has been sick since. She could never meet them now.

runnerbride1023 Posted: May 08, 2009 07:01 PM

Re: etiquitte question - pls help

My parents had fh's fam over for brunch the day after we got engaged. But not because of tradition. Just because they were so excited! I don't think it makes a difference. Maybe over the summer your parents can invite them over for an informal bbq to relax and enjoy the weather

angelatp Posted: May 08, 2009 07:51 PM

Re: etiquitte question - pls help

I agree with the other girls it is an old tradition. We however, don't have to worry about about that FH lost both his parents years ago.

Summertimegal424 Posted: May 08, 2009 07:58 PM

Re: etiquitte question - pls help

i wouldn't worry about that. but i would suggest sometime in the near future having them g2g to meet.

Hoda2010 Posted: May 08, 2009 07:59 PM

Re: etiquitte question - pls help

Yes I agree with the other girls it's an old tradition!! It would be a nice idea though!! We didn't do that being that both our parents are separated it would have been a little awkward