Even more annoyed

FMIL said that *we* can pick the song for the mother/son dance because she's not picking it and it doesn't matter...

I am so sick of his family's attitude and indifference. It's like this all the time.
I flipped out and told FH to tell her that if she doesn't care -- THEN SHE MIGHT AS WELL STAY HOME

FH says I'm marrying him and not his family but THIS is what I have to put up with for the rest of my freaking life???

Wedding planning was fun and it's starting to S U C K

I'm sorry, honey!!! Mary MOB

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Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

Mary -- I'm trying to let it go but I'm just so tired of their nonsense.

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Honey, it's ok, I understand!!!!!! Mary MOB

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Posted by BklynBride2Be

I totally feel the same way at times. FILs are all very aloof about everything.

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and my family is super friendly and they love to laugh and joke around -- stark contrast

they either seriously hate me or they are just not normal

I'm sorry his family is being like that. Maybe she's just going through that jealous mother thing? Which is no excuse...but could be a reason. I hope they get their act together.

Don't let them ruin your wedding...you will have a beautiful day

I totally understand. Fh's mom didn't do anything, yet she told everyone how stresses out she was from wedding planning!!!

Even the day of the wedding she was so nervous for everything to go ok. Yet she had no part in the planning or even offered.

just ignore her. Thats what I learned to do with mine. ANd on the day of my wedding I barley saw or talked to her. I just wanted to enjoy MY day!

Why shouldn't it matter to her? It her dance with her son!! WOW..this angers me to no point! To hell with her then pick what you and FH want!

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Posted by sweetdoublenn

Why shouldn't it matter to her? It her dance with her son!! WOW..this angers me to no point! To hell with her then pick what you and FH want!

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FH admitted to me last night that he's really hurt that she's so indifferent.
Now I'm super pissed. The dance is supposed to be about how you feel about each other and a way of saying thank you and she's just like, 'Whatever'
Even my dad -- who is not emotional and mushy - sat down with me and went through the choices until we found one we both liked.

omg people s u c k

Im sorry! But when you marry someone, you do also marry their family. I hope they come around!!!

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Posted by Adriana618

well do you HAVE to have a mother/son dance? We might not be doing one... havent decided yet.

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not at all -- I was going to suggest just not doing it. But I'm having one with my dad and I know FH will feel like it will stand out.

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Posted by GinaZ

Im sorry! But when you marry someone, you do also marry their family. I hope they come around!!!

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I know -- what will these people be like when we have kids?

I'm sorry you are annoyed, it's really unfair how little regard people can have for something that is SO important.

I don't want this to come out wrong at all and i'm struggling on how to say it. I dealt with this so much during our wedding planning and I truly wish that I had NOT. I spent alot of time worrying and being upset over people who didn't really care all that much about me and I lost so much happiness and precious time that I could have spent ENJOYING My wedding planning. Soo..therefore...I will say this to you as I would say it to my bestest friend..........

***Grabbing Your Shoulders****.............Get a hold of yourself and 'F' them! If it's not important to her then write her off and move on with your day. You really don't 'NEED' to have a Mother/Son dance...really, you dont'. and it wont' affect your day at all.....we skipped it altogether and it didn't make a difference.

I wish I would have skipped caring about what day my Father In Law was flying in or if he would be there for rehearsal, I wish I would have not cared about DH's Brother's Kids not being at my church (I spent hours crying over this), I wish I would have not cared about inviting FH's cousin's who didn't want to be there, I wish I would have not cared about my closest cousin blowing off all her Bridesmaid duties.....because you know what......on my Wedding Day, I didn't give a cr@p about any of them.

It's about you and your FH sweetie. You only have to deal with his family as much as you want to and you only have to deal with as much cr@p as you allow.

WOW this whole response came out so B!TCHY! HAHA I'm sorry, I'm just angry to see people making you feel how I felt. I would have liked someone to say it to me....I hope it's ok We love you!

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Posted by GinaZ

Im sorry! But when you marry someone, you do also marry their family. I hope they come around!!!

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AHHHHH! I don't want to marry his family!

UGH! I am so fed up with FIL's too! We aren't having a mother-son dance because FH's family is... let's just say dysfunctional. The father-daughter will still happen of course - it's a much older tradition anyway. We're hoping no one will notice and have even more to complain about.

So sorry you have to deal with this.

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Posted by anamaree77

I'm sorry you are annoyed, it's really unfair how little regard people can have for something that is SO important.

I don't want this to come out wrong at all and i'm struggling on how to say it. I dealt with this so much during our wedding planning and I truly wish that I had NOT. I spent alot of time worrying and being upset over people who didn't really care all that much about me and I lost so much happiness and precious time that I could have spent ENJOYING My wedding planning. Soo..therefore...I will say this to you as I would say it to my bestest friend..........

***Grabbing Your Shoulders****.............Get a hold of yourself and 'F' them! If it's not important to her then write her off and move on with your day. You really don't 'NEED' to have a Mother/Son dance...really, you dont'. and it wont' affect your day at all.....we skipped it altogether and it didn't make a difference.

I wish I would have skipped caring about what day my Father In Law was flying in or if he would be there for rehearsal, I wish I would have not cared about DH's Brother's Kids not being at my church (I spent hours crying over this), I wish I would have not cared about inviting FH's cousin's who didn't want to be there, I wish I would have not cared about my closest cousin blowing off all her Bridesmaid duties.....because you know what......on my Wedding Day, I didn't give a cr@p about any of them.

It's about you and your FH sweetie. You only have to deal with his family as much as you want to and you only have to deal with as much cr@p as you allow.

WOW this whole response came out so B!TCHY! HAHA I'm sorry, I'm just angry to see people making you feel how I felt. I would have liked someone to say it to me....I hope it's ok We love you!

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I don't think you're being b!tchy at all!!!! You are absolutely 100% right. One of the biggest 'life lessons' I've learned is that I can not change the way people behave -- I can only change myself and the way I react to them. I finally got it after YEARS of crying and making myself physically ill over the way people and the choices they make.

But this is supposed to be a happy time and she's supposed to act like a normal person. She's hurting FH which really makes me mad. I really have to work on accepting that she isn't going to suddenly morph into the MIL I always dreamed of. A big part of me just feels really sad.

Thank you for helping me put it into perspective! In the end it's all about the commitment we're making to one another and the life we're starting.I'm going to keep that in mind
a big to you