ever been so mad at fh....

that you called his parents? as a general policy i dont involve anyone in our disputes, arguments.. but something he did has me sooooo angry i can't even think right... and i tried talking to him. he sees nothing wrong with it and has been downright beligerent about it.. even though i tried telling him that what he did personally hurt my feelings DEEPLY.. non-apologetic, told me basically it's no big deal...

NEVER! I don't even tell MY parents when we fight... IMO, there is never any reason (besides abuse) to involve anyone in your arguments, esp. parents because they NEVER forget....

Hope things smooth out

Yes I have called his mom.
I am not sorry that I did. I needed to understand if this situation has ever happend before and I found out that it had not. I think you need to do whats right in your own heart

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Posted by AMGBride2008

NEVER! I don't even tell MY parents when we fight... IMO, there is never any reason (besides abuse) to involve anyone in your arguments, esp. parents because they NEVER forget....

Hope things smooth out

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yea i have to agree- otherwise when it is smoothed over sometimes your parents or his parents hold resentment about the fight

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Posted by futuremrsfab

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Posted by AMGBride2008

NEVER! I don't even tell MY parents when we fight... IMO, there is never any reason (besides abuse) to involve anyone in your arguments, esp. parents because they NEVER forget....

Hope things smooth out

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yea i have to agree- otherwise when it is smoothed over sometimes your parents or his parents hold resentment about the fight

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and see that's my fear... that once they're 'IN' our marriage they'll never leave.. lol. i dont share nothing with my own mom for that reason.. but i need someone to knock him in the head for what he did... and if not his parents.. then WHO? i thought about his best man/cousin... whom i KNOW he looks up to and i thought about one of the deacons in our church.without going into details it's an issue of marital respect.....

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Posted by Kimbalina

Yes I have called his mom.
I am not sorry that I did. I needed to understand if this situation has ever happend before and I found out that it had not. I think you need to do whats right in your own heart

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thanks Kimbalina... i' am ready to scream behind this...

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Posted by iwannabmrsD

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Posted by futuremrsfab

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Posted by AMGBride2008

NEVER! I don't even tell MY parents when we fight... IMO, there is never any reason (besides abuse) to involve anyone in your arguments, esp. parents because they NEVER forget....

Hope things smooth out

---

yea i have to agree- otherwise when it is smoothed over sometimes your parents or his parents hold resentment about the fight

---

and see that's my fear... that once they're 'IN' our marriage they'll never leave.. lol. i dont share nothing with my own mom for that reason.. but i need someone to knock him in the head for what he did... and if not his parents.. then WHO? i thought about his best man/cousin... whom i KNOW he looks up to and i thought about one of the deacons in our church.without going into details it's an issue of marital respect.....

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If you are afraid of that then dont. I opened up to my FMIL bc I felt I had no where to go...FH was being a total butthead, I really wanted to talk to someone who could relate to handling him, and it back fired. SHe is waaaaaaay too opinionated when it is NOT EVER called for. And it has caused massive problems.

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Posted by iwannabmrsD

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Posted by futuremrsfab

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Posted by AMGBride2008

NEVER! I don't even tell MY parents when we fight... IMO, there is never any reason (besides abuse) to involve anyone in your arguments, esp. parents because they NEVER forget....

Hope things smooth out

---

yea i have to agree- otherwise when it is smoothed over sometimes your parents or his parents hold resentment about the fight

---

and see that's my fear... that once they're 'IN' our marriage they'll never leave.. lol. i dont share nothing with my own mom for that reason.. but i need someone to knock him in the head for what he did... and if not his parents.. then WHO? i thought about his best man/cousin... whom i KNOW he looks up to and i thought about one of the deacons in our church.without going into details it's an issue of marital respect.....

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I think at this point, you need to rely on yourself to knock some sense into him (exhaust ALL efforts!) ESPECIALLY if it has to do with marital issues/respect because once you ARE married (2 weeks away!!!! WOO!) it's just the two of you, KWIM?

thanks ladies... i appreciate the input. i'mma take a day and mull it over.. i can't STAND the idea of someone else knowing our problems.. but when i tell ya i'm MAD... i am SOOOOO MAD......

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Posted by AMGBride2008

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Posted by iwannabmrsD

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Posted by futuremrsfab

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Posted by AMGBride2008

NEVER! I don't even tell MY parents when we fight... IMO, there is never any reason (besides abuse) to involve anyone in your arguments, esp. parents because they NEVER forget....

Hope things smooth out

---

yea i have to agree- otherwise when it is smoothed over sometimes your parents or his parents hold resentment about the fight

---

and see that's my fear... that once they're 'IN' our marriage they'll never leave.. lol. i dont share nothing with my own mom for that reason.. but i need someone to knock him in the head for what he did... and if not his parents.. then WHO? i thought about his best man/cousin... whom i KNOW he looks up to and i thought about one of the deacons in our church.without going into details it's an issue of marital respect.....

---

I think at this point, you need to rely on yourself to knock some sense into him (exhaust ALL efforts!) ESPECIALLY if it has to do with marital issues/respect because once you ARE married (2 weeks away!!!! WOO!) it's just the two of you, KWIM?

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I KNOW!! two weeks!! and he waits till NOW to be an A**hole....

well his mom knows many times certain things we go through bc fh talks to her about alot of things. He cant always make it to the psychiatrist, not with how much he costs lol so since his mom knows his situation very well he talks to her alot. Because she knows alot of what is going on she will email me to talk to me about things. So i have spoken to her many times, but it was never a situation where i put FH down, infact it was about helping him and trying to get perspective on things. Infact i think it was during these times and through these conversations with me that she saw how hard i would fight to make things right and how much i truly care about her son. I did call her once, but it was a situation where i kind of had to.

I dont tell my parents about our fights. His mom is the only one who really knows certain things we went through.

fh's situation is a bit different though. So i talk to her about mood changes i see in him and to keep on it and be aware of it and try to handle the situation before he hits a low.

Sometimes I think it's necessary for parent intervention... We learn quite a lot from our elders and they help us to see things in a different way because I'm sure they went through it in their marraige as well. That is, if his parents are unbiased and willing to work out the situation to make things better, rather than siding with their son...then I would never run to his parents...maybe see a counselor instead.

I've had to get FH's parents involved once, and it ended up turning out for the best.

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Posted by AMGBride2008

NEVER! I don't even tell MY parents when we fight... IMO, there is never any reason (besides abuse) to involve anyone in your arguments, esp. parents because they NEVER forget....

Hope things smooth out

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that is so true!! you forgive easier than your parents and his parents prolly think he is an angel!!! lose lose situation IMO

We live with my mom so she sees us when we fight....
Theres no way around that... And theres been times when Im on the phone with my dad and we are fighting...
Everyone has seen us fight LOL
But me and FMIL have a really good and close relationship so... YES I have called her if he is being a real jackasss... And I dont regret it either.... He knows his mother will KILL him for the 1 argument we had.... Which I didnt tell her that one but I was very tempted to call her LOL....

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by AMGBride2008

NEVER! I don't even tell MY parents when we fight... IMO, there is never any reason (besides abuse) to involve anyone in your arguments, esp. parents because they NEVER forget....

Hope things smooth out

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that is so true!! you forgive easier than your parents and his parents prolly think he is an angel!!! lose lose situation IMO

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our situations are the opposite.

FH's parents think i am an angel and my parents think FH is the angel

FH's parents went to visit my dad in the hospital last week and my mom told me that his mom was telling my dad what a bless i have been in fh's life and she cant thank god enough and so on and about how i put up with him. My dad gave her a weird look and said 'DENISE? shes a b*tch, joe is the angel and puts up with her' thanks dad