ever been so mad at fh....

Original post by iwannabmrsD

Jan 31, 2008 08:48 AM

that you called his parents? as a general policy i dont involve anyone in our disputes, arguments.. but something he did has me sooooo angry i can't even think right... and i tried talking to him. he sees nothing wrong with it and has been downright beligerent about it.. even though i tried telling him that what he did personally hurt my feelings DEEPLY.. non-apologetic, told me basically it's no big deal...

LeeLee111 Posted: Jan 31, 2008 10:02 AM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

No I never involve them or my parents, it could be used as ammunition later.

JeanetteandSteve Posted: Jan 31, 2008 10:08 AM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

we live w FH's parents...we rent the upstairs of their house...and they invite us to have dinner w them EVERY night...so they usually do end up hearing about SOME of our arguments...but only the ones that aren't that bad.

i wouldn't ever involve them in a really bad disagreement, especially not in the middle of it. i threatened to once, but that was years ago and the situation was so bad that i ended up leaving him for a while over it. but i still to this day have never told his parents or mine what the real reason was.

unless it's something that could potentially ruin your marriage i wouldn't involve them. but if you really feel that you need to talk to them about it, i would tell HIM first that you feel that way...maybe that will make him realize how serious this is to you, and maybe then you two can talk it out.

i'm really sorry you're so upset...good luck!!

Mici n KC Posted: Jan 31, 2008 10:12 AM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

Maybe talking to the deacon like you said instead of involving parents would be a good idea. You want to get something off your chest and the deacon is a neutral body and has to keep things confidential.

Adriana618 Posted: Jan 31, 2008 10:19 AM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

seeing as FMIL hates my guts i'll obviously never come to her for anything...

I did though once with my ex....
he decided to leave a club with total strangers and was a totally drugged up idiot and i pleaded with him not to go to party out in the hamptons till the wee hours....

(side note-we were in our 'off' periods and had run into him at a club)

so i went to his parents house at like 4 am freaking out that he's 'drunk' and left to be with people who were driving 'drunk'.

he didnt show up till the next day and he was SOOOO MAD at me, lol..
he didnt talk to me for like two weeks he was SOOO MAD- lol- i have no regrets though.

ok story time over!

msflesch Posted: Jan 31, 2008 10:24 AM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

Posted by iwannabmrsD

thanks ladies... i appreciate the input. i'mma take a day and mull it over.. i can't STAND the idea of someone else knowing our problems.. but when i tell ya i'm MAD... i am SOOOOO MAD......

JMO - VENT HERE.... and keep on venting - write yourself a letter, write him a letter.... TALK TO THE WALL if you have to but DO NOT get FMIL involved b/c once you open that can of worms...thats it....she is involved and may never want to become on involved...

msflesch Posted: Jan 31, 2008 10:25 AM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

Posted by Espo22

Posted by yelley77

Posted by AMGBride2008

NEVER! I don't even tell MY parents when we fight... IMO, there is never any reason (besides abuse) to involve anyone in your arguments, esp. parents because they NEVER forget....

Hope things smooth out

that is so true!! you forgive easier than your parents and his parents prolly think he is an angel!!! lose lose situation IMO

our situations are the opposite.

FH's parents think i am an angel and my parents think FH is the angel

FH's parents went to visit my dad in the hospital last week and my mom told me that his mom was telling my dad what a bless i have been in fh's life and she cant thank god enough and so on and about how i put up with him. My dad gave her a weird look and said 'DENISE? shes a b*tch, joe is the angel and puts up with her' thanks dad

Ha, thats funny!! .

GtBride Posted: Jan 31, 2008 10:25 AM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

Posted by AMGBride2008

NEVER! I don't even tell MY parents when we fight... IMO, there is never any reason (besides abuse) to involve anyone in your arguments, esp. parents because they NEVER forget....

Hope things smooth out

I agree, if you tell the parents they will never let it go. don't do it!

Luvbsb4eva Posted: Jan 31, 2008 10:28 AM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

I've never gone to his parents with fights we've had, FH isn't even close enough to his own parents to vent to them about that kind of thing, so I couldn't see myself doing that either. Only if I thought FH was in trouble or needed help would I probably do that. One time FH and I were in Disney with my parents and FH got really drunk and kinda made an *** of himself, we got into a big fight about it. I forgave him for it, but it took my parents a little longer to forgive him. So since then I have a tendancy not to tell my parents everything, unless I really feel the need to vent to someone, I don't want them getting involved in our issues. Usually though I will vent to one of my close friends if I am really upset. But we've never fought about anything really serious, and FH is my best friend, so that doesn't happen very often that I even have to vent to someone.

TheFutureMrsM Posted: Jan 31, 2008 12:28 PM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

Posted by AMGBride2008

NEVER! I don't even tell MY parents when we fight... IMO, there is never any reason (besides abuse) to involve anyone in your arguments, esp. parents because they NEVER forget....

Hope things smooth out

I totally agree, i keep my private life private, and when i give this advice to certain people...they think i am nuts and dont get how they are with their parents.

I know sometimes there are extrenuating circumstances and you need to reach out to parents or family members
I hope you resolve your issues

failurebydsign Posted: Jan 31, 2008 12:30 PM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

when it has gotten bad..i scream..IM CALLING YOUR MOTHER

lol

its what i di and he stops being stupid when i do that

DnellD809 Posted: Jan 31, 2008 12:31 PM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

I don't do that but I have a friend who calls her mom everytime her and her husband get in a fight! Not just to talk to her about it but to actually get her involved which suucks because she can be pretty harsh...even over the phone!

I hope things get better with you though!

AR31 Posted: Jan 31, 2008 12:34 PM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

sometimes it seems easy to just talk to the parents to get through.. but in the long run, it won't help.. parents will always stick with their child regardless of the situation and it may come back to haunt you..

don't worry about this time.. everything has been said and done, but you two are getting married soon and don't let anyone else be a part of that marriage.. not even your parents.. jmo

lilangel369 Posted: Jan 31, 2008 12:37 PM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

nooo .... i never involve his parents ...

emomma17 Posted: Jan 31, 2008 12:51 PM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

I did call her once over the summer when I was at my witz end about something that I just couldn't understand. Who would know better than his mother and I actually kind of regret it. Not that she did or said anything wrong, she was great actually, I personally wished I hadn't only because in the end I don't want anyone knowing our business, but I do have a great relationship with her and she was amazing when I did call her. I am sure if something happened again that I felt I needed to, I would.

Lten10 Posted: Jan 31, 2008 01:00 PM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

I have never sought her out over a conflict.

HOWEVER, if I happened to be talking to her, I have mentioned 'well you know, FH disagrees with me on this. He thinks that I should do *.'

Although I dont involve her, we've both gone through the same things dealing with him. She's very strategic in helping me understand how to support him.

Future Mulligan Posted: Jan 31, 2008 02:31 PM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

once i got so upset at FH that i told him not to come home its a really funny story now and its kind of stupid that i was so mad at him - it was when we first started living together in our first apartment - my parents just moved to florida a few months before and it was a really stressful time for me so im assuming that is why i flipped out.....he lied to me about something so stupid and i knew he was lying and he was so afraid to tell me the truth because he thought id be mad but it was the thought that he could just lie to me so easily that made me flip....well anyways, i didnt even tell him not to come home - i left the friend who was supposed to drive him home from work (a wedding he worked) a voicemail saying 'DO NOT BRING JAMES HOME (insert curse words all over the place)'

so FH went to his parents house, CRIED, was so upset that he told his parents and sister the whole the story

so they knew what happened which was really embarrasing - but i thought it was sweet that he went to them for advice/help....its really funny now, but when it was happening it was so dramatic

RadiantBride Posted: Jan 31, 2008 02:32 PM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

This is so bad to admit but yeah I have called his mother a couple of times. Somehow she is able to really help and make him understand. And yes this will stop once we are married.

MayWeddingGrl Posted: Jan 31, 2008 04:40 PM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

I can't believe your FH didn't try to be understanding about the situation, esp since it really bothers you. No matter what try to talk it out with him.

the future mrs m Posted: Jan 31, 2008 07:45 PM

Re: ever been so mad at fh....

never. my mother , fh and i all live together and she doesnt even know when we have an issue. I think since we are vowing ourselves to each other we have to rely and trust that we can work through things alone. I would rather go to a deacon or a priest over an issue before i go to parents.