I do. 18 days away and there are still things I wonder about....such as, 'will we last?' 'will we divorce?' 'will I be able to withstand his crazy work schedule?' 'how will he be as a father?' 'will he conquer his intimacy issues?' 'will he turn into his mother/father' (both whom are terrible parents, lovers, partners, etc.)
OY
FunBride
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Re: Ever get scared?
Interesting how I probably threw a wrench in this whole thing. I know, it's easier to suppress those feelings than to bring them to the surface.I think that's why no one (as of yet) has jumped on this bandwagon. no worries!
ElviraD
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Re: Ever get scared?
Yes, petrified...we have 23 days till our wedding and things are very strained between us. He has a class that is driving him crazy and he's not even really speaking to me. I know he is stressed. But I really need him now.
FunBride
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Re: Ever get scared?
Thank you for your response! I am with you. 18 days away and there are times I WISH he came home late from work just to avoid awkward tensions, fights,...it is SO strained b/w us and I absolutely hate it. How are we supposed to be so happy on our wedding day when right now we are holding our breath around e/other?
BlondeJD
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Re: Ever get scared?
Hey date twin!! I'm sure that we have ALL had those thoughts at one point or another. I spent Memorial Day weekend with a number of middle aged couples, all of whom were on 2nd or 3rd marriages and it was a little disheartening, of course.
I read a book called The Conscious Bride and I really recommend it. It talks about how feeling this way is normal and that there is a lot of anxiety surrounding the wedding and all of the things that it 'means.'
ETA: It also says that you need to acknowledge these feelings because otherwise it will catch up with you later on. They talk about this especially in reference to the challenge brides face in letting go of their 'single' selves and dealing with the idea that they are now a 'wife.' It was a really good book!
February05
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Re: Ever get scared?
Posted by FunBride How are we supposed to be so happy on our wedding day when right now we are holding our breath around e/other?
thats a natural part of life though- no relationships exist without conflict, but its overcoming those that build strength between you. Everyday isn't going to be a walk in the park, and there are going to be Much more demanding and challenging things that come your way- YES, even more stressful than wedding planning- but you chose this person for a reason, and in doing so- you choose to work through all those things. There were/ are definately times when i think 'Dear lord, what did i get myself into', but those are far less than the times i think of how lucky we really are to have each other.
and on your wedding day- you WONT be thinking about any of these things- you'll be so caught up in the moment, and soooo head over heals in love, the thought wont even enter your mind about anything that is less than Wonderful.
oh... and dont go to bed angry.
FunBride
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Re: Ever get scared?
thank you date twin!!!!!!!! i wrote it down and will pick it up tomorrow...
tjs
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Re: Ever get scared?
ok we live together and have a baby and im still scared!!!!! He says he isnt at all he thinks we are basically married now, but i just get nervous there is alot of Divorce in my family and i told him the other day if something were to happen and we broke up now (withouit being married)we could just walk away so much easier then in 20 yrs from now in a messy divorce...he looked at me and said 'ok you are scaring me' why would you even think we would get divorced we are not even married!!!' I know he is the right guy he is great and a good father (although he could help with more!) lol ..but i am still very nervous my sister says its natural!!!! who knows!!! lol
Swan06
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Re: Ever get scared?
I agree. It is sooo scary! You never know. I started to get really scared because I noticed a theme of Men leaving their wives to be with another woman. It's happened to a lot of women in my family and other women I know. I then told myself, what will be, will be. I can't worry about that stuff now. I believe my Fiance is a great man. If he strays in the future then I'll deal with it then. I really wish that it's not a fantasy to find a man who will be faithful for the rest of his life. It seems that now a days that's very rare.
tjs
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Re: Ever get scared?
I agree 100% FH always tells me i crucify him for everything every other man has done to me in my life , he says im not them im not going to hurt you...which i believe but it is so scary!!!
