Posted by nic2011
i wouldn't invite him. FH doesn't want you to really.
You are inviting drama into your day.
your call, but i wouldn't. it's not an option. it's abot you and your FH, not this dude's feelings. time to close the book and not worry about it a second longer.
Posted by FutureJOC
that is an extremely tough situation. I personally though would not invite him only for the fact that from you say, he seems like someone who might upset you and FH the day of the wedding and you totally don't want that. You also don't want to be on edge all day that something is going to happen during the ceremony and reception.
I don't know how you would go about breaking the news to him though - that's tough.
I was gonna say, pull that 'can't invite my exes' line, but don't think it works here. if you have any fear in you that he might cause a scene, then i would consider not inviting him. you just don't want to be on edge at all that day about a GUEST. good luck, girl!
Posted by mrsg2be11
I'm also going to go with an unpopular answer...
I think you should feel it out and see how he is when he's here visiting. In reality, if he's as good of a friend as you say he is, he's going to be all talk with the 'standing up and objecting' stuff.
You can also ask yourself if you'd be hurt if he were getting married, and you weren't invited. If you would be, I think you owe him the option of coming.
If you don't want to continue a friendship with this person, then don't bother inviting him. But the fact that you're even entertaining the idea of him coming makes me think that you want this person in your life, in some capacity.
Posted by sjr385
Heck, give him the invitation and tell him that you're concerned he'll make a scene and that he shouldn't come if he's going to. Don't actively kill your friendship because there's a chance that something might happen.
Your day will be wonderful no matter what... you're marrying your FH!
Posted by HSsweethearts
Posted by mrsg2be11
I'm also going to go with an unpopular answer...
I think you should feel it out and see how he is when he's here visiting. In reality, if he's as good of a friend as you say he is, he's going to be all talk with the 'standing up and objecting' stuff.
You can also ask yourself if you'd be hurt if he were getting married, and you weren't invited. If you would be, I think you owe him the option of coming.
If you don't want to continue a friendship with this person, then don't bother inviting him. But the fact that you're even entertaining the idea of him coming makes me think that you want this person in your life, in some capacity.
Yeah, I am going to see how the visit goes. To be honest I really miss him and the time when we were best friends.
I would be CRUSHED if he got married and didn't invite me. So you see my dilemma.
Posted by CrazyLove11
I think the reason why you are fretting over this is b/c you prob have a big heart and don't want to hurt anyone....
With that being said, I think you are getting caught up in something that was so long ago.
Your husband should be (and I'm sure he is) your #1 priority and his feelings should matter most to you - especially on your wedding day!
Your husband gave you the answer already and if it were me, that would be enough for me to drop the whole thought of it and move on. Remember, someones first reaction is usually the most truthful so if he said no then the answer should be no. It wouldn't be fair to FH...
I think he def has feelings for you, maybe he hasn't seriously said anything to you because he knows you first had a boyfriend, then u became engage and will be a wife soon, maybe because he has all these feelings inside him without reaaly being able to talk about it makes him act that way. If I was in ur shoes, I'd probably wouldn't invite him, of course it would hurt me deeply but I wouldn't like to make my FH uncomfortable (not by the fact that this friend likes you, but because FH knows my friendship with this guy is not a healthy one), plus he lives in upstate, if he'd live in Long Island, it'd be more complicated. Best of luck in ur decision girly, keep us updated on this.
I wouldn't invite him. I don't believe exes belong at the wedding. I have a good friend whom I dated on and off for a few years. For the last six or so years we have been just friends. He ian't getting an invite and i know he might be hurt by it, but my FH's feelings are more imortant. Good luck
Posted by CrazyLove11
I think the reason why you are fretting over this is b/c you prob have a big heart and don't want to hurt anyone....
With that being said, I think you are getting caught up in something that was so long ago.
Your husband should be (and I'm sure he is) your #1 priority and his feelings should matter most to you - especially on your wedding day!
Your husband gave you the answer already and if it were me, that would be enough for me to drop the whole thought of it and move on. Remember, someones first reaction is usually the most truthful so if he said no then the answer should be no. It wouldn't be fair to FH...
