Exes at the wedding?

So, I am on the fence about this, so i want to hear your thoughts.


Deleted.

But the plot thickens. We're going to see a show next week. I'm hoping we can just be normal friends again. We'll see what happens!

that is an extremely tough situation. I personally though would not invite him only for the fact that from you say, he seems like someone who might upset you and FH the day of the wedding and you totally don't want that. You also don't want to be on edge all day that something is going to happen during the ceremony and reception.

I don't know how you would go about breaking the news to him though - that's tough.

Well I've said to him

'Do you really want to come?'

Because I was honestly kind of surprised. Expecially he lives 1800 miles away

and he said 'Yeah. Someone has to get drunk and object'

which is just his crass sense of humor, but it got me thinking...what if he DOES? ahahhh

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Posted by HSsweethearts

FH doesn't want to invite him to the wedding. He thinks he does't deserve it and he's afraid he'll make a scene.

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THIS IS EXCATLY WHAT MATTERS HERE
IMO....
HE DOES NOT WANTS YOU TO INVITE HIM.... ....

( I am capitalizing here cuz I think it is important to emphazise HE (ur FH) doesnt want him there....and I would NOT invite my Xs to my wedding)

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Posted by FutureJOC

that is an extremely tough situation. I personally though would not invite him only for the fact that from you say, he seems like someone who might upset you and FH the day of the wedding and you totally don't want that. You also don't want to be on edge all day that something is going to happen during the ceremony and reception.

I don't know how you would go about breaking the news to him though - that's tough.

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ITA!
You said he's on meds and goes off on people so why take that chance on your wedding day..what if he causes drama and ruins your day..idk I think your better off not inviting him JMO

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Posted by HSsweethearts

Well I've said to him

'Do you really want to come?'

Because I was honestly kind of surprised. Expecially he lives 1800 miles away

and he said 'Yeah. Someone has to get drunk and object'

which is just his crass sense of humor, but it got me thinking...what if he DOES? ahahhh

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IMO
No I doubt he wants ur X to come...
he is just bein a 'gentleman' wiht u...

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Posted by rosatemp

You said he's on meds and goes off on people so why take that chance on your wedding day..what if he causes drama and ruins your day..idk I think your better off not inviting him JMO

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THIS. i personally would not want to worry about this on my wedding day. breaking the news to him is a different story though...that's a tough one

Yeah. THANK YOU!

What was I thinking?

You know how sometimes you just need to lay something out to see it. THANK YOU.

Now I need to figure out how to break it to him,

He'll be in town next week. I'm going to see if he acts like a normal human being. If he is 100% nice and normal I would consider inviting him, but if not, then I'll just have to find some way to explain it to him. It might be the end of our friendship, but I'm not sure what I can do at this point.

Im sorry chica...
I am going SO agains this!
EVEN if he is nice, UR FH doesnt want him there PLUS he could cause BIG problems!!!!!...

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Posted by HSsweethearts

Well I've said to him

'Do you really want to come?'

Because I was honestly kind of surprised. Expecially he lives 1800 miles away

and he said 'Yeah. Someone has to get drunk and object'

which is just his crass sense of humor, but it got me thinking...what if he DOES? ahahhh

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see right there - a statement like that worries me whether he's saying it in a joking manner or not. I would always have in the back of mind that day 'Is he really going to do something?'

I think for your peace of mind that day, I would not invite him. It's only going to cause stress.

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Posted by FutureJOC

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Posted by HSsweethearts

Well I've said to him

'Do you really want to come?'

Because I was honestly kind of surprised. Expecially he lives 1800 miles away

and he said 'Yeah. Someone has to get drunk and object'

which is just his crass sense of humor, but it got me thinking...what if he DOES? ahahhh

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see right there - a statement like that worries me whether he's saying it in a joking manner or not. I would always have in the back of mind that day 'Is he really going to do something?'

I think for your peace of mind that day, I would not invite him. It's only going to cause stress.

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Yeah...it's just hard because as much of an azz as he can be, he's important to me. But I do have that thought in my mind. Like what if he does have some emotions come over him and he loses it?

Inviting him would NOT cause problems between me and FH at all. I know FH doesn't want him invited, but it's more for my sake, for the reasons we mentioned, not because he's very against it personally. It's more about what's right. He's already said he's ok with it if I really want to invite him.

I just ugh..it's so hard. He's going to flip out when he finds out my other ex is a reader and he's not even invited. I feel so bad about the whole thing.

i wouldn't invite him. FH doesn't want you to really.

You are inviting drama into your day.

your call, but i wouldn't. it's not an option. it's abot you and your FH, not this dude's feelings. time to close the book and not worry about it a second longer.

I didn't even finish reading your whole thing but #1 RULE NO EX'S NO EXCUSES.

I am sorry but there really is NO rhyme or reason for an ex to be at your wedding. Would you REALLY feel okay with it if the tables were turned?

This is a tough situation and I understand both yours and FHs opinions. Im going to be honest with all you have said the fact that he is on meds and stuff and has jokingly made comments about objecting at your wedding.. that kind of worries me.. what if he has a 'bad day' the day of your wedding and does yell something in the church or that he gets really drunk and starts an issue at your reception.. you dont want to worry about that and have any problems on your wedding day...
so if it were me I wouldnt invite him..

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Posted by Richiesgirl

I didn't even finish reading your whole thing but #1 RULE NO EX'S NO EXCUSES.

I am sorry but there really is NO rhyme or reason for an ex to be at your wedding. Would you REALLY feel okay with it if the tables were turned?

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ITA! sorry I wouldnt like it @ all

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Posted by rosatemp

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Posted by Richiesgirl

I didn't even finish reading your whole thing but #1 RULE NO EX'S NO EXCUSES.

I am sorry but there really is NO rhyme or reason for an ex to be at your wedding. Would you REALLY feel okay with it if the tables were turned?

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ITA! sorry I wouldnt like it @ all

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Well since one of my exes is a reader and would be a groomsman if we had room, I can't fully agree with that

It's less that he's an ex and more that the situation is insannnnnne.