extremely tight budget

I'm spending too much money already at the hall.

I will give my maitre d' and bridal attendant a flat fee (maybe $50 each if and only if I think they deserved it).

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Posted by JimmysBride

But remember a tip is a tip. By definition, it should be optional and only given if earned.

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Exactly!!!! I appreciate knowing what the halls suggest but I waited tables and I tip according to the services rendered.

I would budget to tip the Maitre D, Bridal Attendant & DJ the night of (and maybe the florist & wedding coordinator if you have one). Everyone else can wait until you get what you have paid for.

everything is so much $$$...i can't figure out where it is all going???? If your hall costs 100 pp and you are paying 17% gratuity with 150 people....your tip for the night is $2550.00. How many people could possibly be splitting this tip??? and then they want you to give an additional tip. Am i doing the math wrong??? where is that money going????


We'll I guess it goes to the entire waitstaff. If you're venue gives you one waiter per table, then it could be split 20 ways. Still seems crazy - especially since we're paying so much to begin with!

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Posted by WedHead

everything is so much $$$...i can't figure out where it is all going???? If your hall costs 100 pp and you are paying 17% gratuity with 150 people....your tip for the night is $2550.00. How many people could possibly be splitting this tip??? and then they want you to give an additional tip. Am i doing the math wrong??? where is that money going????


We'll I guess it goes to the entire waitstaff. If you're venue gives you one waiter per table, then it could be split 20 ways. Still seems crazy - especially since we're paying so much to begin with!

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Some halls keep that money and the staff are just paid a straight salary. You should inquire at the halls to see if the 15% - 20% required service charge or 'gratuity' is shared with the staff.

Some halls use the service charge to pay the staff because there is a set amount that is traceable to the employees (taxes). Whereas 'gratuity' is not set in stone and not necessarily traceable by the IRS. I'm sure that plays some role in the 'service charge' vs. gratuity.

I am still not clear on why the service charge is taxed though??

My hall said between $2-3/pp for the MD and $1/pp for the Bridal attendant... and that's what bugs me... if the bridal attendant is there JUST to help me and FH, then why do they get a tip based on the amount of people at the event?! I think it's rediculous and will base my tip on how attentive this person is to us

Remember, a tip is a show of how much you appreciate the work the person did for you and it's based on THEIR performance, not on anything else. So if they do a good job, they get more! IF they are lame, they get less. I don't have any money trees in my backyard

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Posted by kdrainey

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Posted by JimmysBride

But remember a tip is a tip. By definition, it should be optional and only given if earned.

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Exactly!!!! I appreciate knowing what the halls suggest but I waited tables and I tip according to the services rendered.

I would budget to tip the Maitre D, Bridal Attendant & DJ the night of (and maybe the florist & wedding coordinator if you have one). Everyone else can wait until you get what you have paid for.

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AMEN, KD!!! I'm with you on this one. A tip is for complete services.

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Posted by busybee705

I'm spending too much money already at the hall.

I will give my maitre d' and bridal attendant $1 pp.

I will give the photographer's tip when I pick up my proofs. If I like my DJ and MC, I'll tip them that same night.

I don't want to sound stingy, but the truth is I can't afford to spend more money on tips that that.

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okay, i really didnt include any tips in my original budget.

how much is everyone tipping ppl? Can you guys give me a breakdown...
Matre d' and Bridal Attendant - $1 pp for each
Photographer?
Band?
Bartenders?
Limo Drivers?

Im so clueless..am I missing anyone?

I might be a cheapo, but I didn't tip that much, because in most cases, I felt that I was paying the price asked for and tips weren't necessary. For example:
Matre'd - I tipped $3 pp, but this was a little confusing since we were greeted by someone who introduced herself as our Matre'd, but wasn't who we were told it would be. She did a great job and she was the only one I saw all night, so she got the whole thing.

DJ- tipped him $100 because I thought he did a great job and we got a great deal to begin with

Limo - no tip on the day of - tip was included in what we paid in advance, so we didn't feel we had to tip above that

Photographer - no tip - I wanted to see his work before tipping and wasn't that thrilled, so I didn't tip

Hairdresser - my sis paid for this, and I think she did tip, since the woman came to the house for just me

Florist - no tip - I tried to tip delivery guy, but he refused it

Waitstaff and bartenders - I thought my 18% went to them, and if it didn't, I don't think that is my concern. The hall should be taking care of their people if they are charging you for it.

I dont get this one either..my hall is already charging me a VERY large 'service fee' and I feel that fee should be given to the staff. For me to tip the Maitre'D an additional $3 or so per head would add up to a crazy amount since Im having a large wedding!!

Im going to let Greentree know that the service fee they are charging me better go to their staff!!

My FH and I were reviewing our wedding budget yesterday because we neglected to include the tips. Now even though tax and gratuity is charged for the hall, FH said he wanted to tip the waitstaff again at the end of the night. Then we went over all the other tips that should be distributed and we were shocked! The minimum we will pay in tips the day of the wedding is $880 (that's without tipping the waitstaff, which I believe he has now reconsidered).

We used this article as a guideline Tips

They call it a service charge and they can charge tax. If it is called gratuity on you contract then they can't charge tax on it.

I just checked with my catering hall. It's a load of crap!

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Posted by mscally

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Posted by WedHead

Did your venue give you a guideline for tips? Mine suggests $3-$5 per guest (so if I have 200 guests it's between $600-$1000) for the Maitre'D. They also suggest about $200 for my Bridal Attendant.

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wow thats a lot! i didnt get any guidelines yet but I thought I had seen someone on hear say generally its $1 per person? Did i make that up or is that true?

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My hall adds $2.00 per person on the price.

Hey all!! A few years back, I worked at a popular hall and worked many many weddings. And the waitsaff, bartenders, or cooks NEVER ever saw any of the gratuity or the service charge. I too often wonder where is goes??

My venue charges 20% gratuity fee, EXcluding matre'd. They do not tax the gratuity. I feel that a TIP should be dependant on the service that you get. If your bridal attendant is very responsive, but not up your butt all night, she will get a good tip. If i have to search for her for 15 minutes and ultimately do everything myself, she will not get a good tip.

I feel that you should give as much as you can spare. You don't want to shortchange yourself in other areas just to keep up with what eveyone else is tipping.

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Posted by KL805

everything is so much $$$...i can't figure out where it is all going???? If your hall costs 100 pp and you are paying 17% gratuity with 150 people....your tip for the night is $2550.00. How many people could possibly be splitting this tip??? and then they want you to give an additional tip. Am i doing the math wrong??? where is that money going????

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Given this type of party you would need (At least):

8 waiters
3 bus-boys
2 bartenders.

The 'tip' of 2550 would be about $195 per staff for the night (which is not what they get, but that is another story - for each employee the venue has to be taxes and benefits, reducing the total take home pay each person gets.). Not including the Head Waiter/GM.

That isn't that much money for each person. Though your wedding is only five hours, they are there 2 hours before and 2 hours afterwards. If you ask, most of the staff will say that they are paid about $18 per hour. (Give or take)

I've worked weddings. They are hard. I know it ***** to pay a lot of money in tips. But the people who work your wedding expect to get them because their employer pays them less because 'expected' tips are part of their compensation.

I used to work at a beautiful catering hall and we would only get tipped if the family put cash in envelopes for us... other than that we got nada... however, we also werent working for minumum wage and less, like waiters and waitresses in actual restaurants...

the catering field can be very shady when it comes to tipping... i know many people who have quit over it...