OK...well we are starting to get into the house hunting phase and i find myself fallling into old patterns of taking charge and doing things on my own. Kinda the way i did with the wedding (with the exception of my mom)....
I don't really want to leave my DH out of the process but i am the get up and go kinda gal...go out there look, research.
So i guess i am asking...How did you go about this process. Did you do everything together? Or did you split up sometimes?
What?
julz33
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Re: Falling into old ways
We looked at every house together. I did most of the online research. I was on mlsli.com everyday and researching neighborhoods and school districts, kinda like the wedding I did so much research online but then we actually went to meet the vendors together. We had very different tastes in houses so we HAD to go together. There was one house I thought was perfect and that we would bid on it but he HATED it.
jozieb0925
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Re: Falling into old ways
As far as the wedding goes, we started to do things together, but in the end, it was just easier to do things myself without him. It was also tough for us to do things together because he lived in NJ and I lived on LI.
As far as finding a condo, he actually did most of the research on where to live, ect..since we were moving to NJ. At the time, I was so busy with the wedding, I told him researching and finding the condo's to look at was his job. Whenever he found something, I went with him to look at the place. We probably looked at over 2 dozen places together..
When we are finally ready to buy a house, we will probably do the same...I will def. be more involved in researching now that I know a little bit more about NJ..and since it will be the only thing on my mind (no wedding).
Good luck!
littlecat
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Re: Falling into old ways
We looked at pretty much every house together. I did any online research. Actually we loved getting up and going to look for open houses. Then again, we both wanted to get out of my mother's house. As far as the wedding went, i did most of the planning but i didn't mind - i liked it.
Buying a house can be pretty scary!!!
Eli
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Re: Falling into old ways
it was a combination of both though i remember going out many times alone and if i had to work weekends he would sometimes go alone and report back to me. it was more about schedule conflicts and not wanting to miss anything good. he was a lot more lax about it than was. i even bid on the house without him being there! he gave me the ok while coming home on the train and now we're living in that house!
swags1016
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Re: Falling into old ways
We didn't look together all the time. We work opposite schedules so it wasn't always possible. I would go sometimes with my Realtor and Mom and weed out any of the ones I knew for sure no freaking way. If I saw one I liked or would consider, DH would go out with her the next morning. He was with me when I found this house though. But I had found it on line a couple of days before and in my heart knew that it was the one.
janwinterbridejoy
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Re: Falling into old ways
i looked mostly with dh but when it became frustrating because our tastes were really different i took a break and went with my mom who has the same tatse as i do and always gives it to me straight. i also missed out on several houses because dh didnt feel like going to look at them at that time.
septbride
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Re: Falling into old ways
We didn't look at all the houses together. It just wasn't possoble but I knew what we were looking for so I looked at probably twice as many houses as he did.
What was weird was we did see the house that we ending up buying together and we both thought we could live here -- this is what we were looking for.
I did it all. He didn't even see the house until after our bid was accepted. Same as with the wedding. Yes, extreme, but he trusted me and he knew I would not buy something that wasn't worth it....
laughinlala
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Re: Falling into old ways
I did most of the research and made the appts. but, FH came with me to see every house except the one we ended up purchasing. My mother and I went to look at open houses one day and found the perfect house and then FH came with me to look at it again. I dont mind doing the research but I felt that I wanted him to help me make ultimate decision and he wanted to be involved in purchasing our first house! As for the wedding not sure of his involvement yet-will keep you updated!!
tray831
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Re: Falling into old ways
I dont think there is anything wrong with you doing all the research whether for the wedding or looking for a home, I have more time than he does, technically, so I have no problem researching things.
But once you are ready to meet vendors and/or look for homes, you definitely have to include him. So basically, its OK for us to do the dirty work (research, make appts), LOL, sort of speak, but that was all I did w/out him, and can't imagine making huge decisions like that even just to look w/out him coming.
So be sure to make him come along with you wherever it is you go.
Kelly9904
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Re: Falling into old ways
We were doing the house hunting and wedding planning at the same time! So DH took control of hte house hunting and I did the wedding planning! I worked in NYC at the time, so we would both look on the websites every day and email each other interesting homes! Often DH would drive by the houses at lunch or after work because he worked in the area! Then if it was good we made an appt to go together! We went to open houses every weekend together, I usually decided which ones we would start at and then if he had any we would try those too! He found our house alone and then called me and we went that night together and bid the following morning! He handled all the financials with the mortgage too! It worked well for us because we closed less than 3 weeks before the wedding!
peabody
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Re: Falling into old ways
Jen, I did all the research. I called and talked to all the agents, I did all research on the mortgage.
Phil went with me too see every house, but I did all the legwork.
However, he made the ultimate decision whether or not to make an offer though. Reason why? He is a carpentar and just knows alot about structure, plumbing, electric, what is costly to replace or fix and what isn't.
That kinda happened with planning the wedding too, I did all the legwork. We did make the decision together about vendors though.
