Family and friends not into your wedding?

piscescutie2002 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 01:13 AM

Family and friends not into your wedding?

My wedding isn't until May. My sister is really into it thank god. We love the color schemes, creating the decor, dresses, everything. My DH has been fine. Sometimes it's too girly for him to care as much. When I go to his or my family gathering, they don't seem to bring it up. It's practically on my mind every day and I want to share ideas but I think generally, people don't care about it as much almost like I am being stupid for feeling excited. As a bride who never got married before and am in my early 40's, this may be my big schbang of my life if I don't have kids so I'm excited!

Anyone have family and friends that don't seem as enthused and how do you not let it bring you down?

elp6421 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 07:56 AM

Re: Family and friends not into your wedding?

I got engaged over 7 months ago and my mother is just now starting to act excited. It took my family a long time before they even wanted to talk about the engagement or wedding. (And they like my fiance!) Maybe your family will come around, but until then use this post. Everyone on here is so excited and supportive!

StaceyWill Posted: Oct 19, 2009 08:32 AM

Re: Family and friends not into your wedding?

Posted by elp6421

Maybe your family will come around, but until then use this post. Everyone on here is so excited and supportive!

ITA!!!!

alli3131 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 08:51 AM

Re: Family and friends not into your wedding?

when we are planning our wedding we tend to get so wrapped up in it that it is our entire life. I think we tend to think everyone else should be as crazy about it as we are. I dont think your family isnt excited they just are as excited about it as you.

MY family was very excited and supportive but they didnt discuss it all the time or at all unless I had something to bring up.....I think its normal.

asg450 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 10:45 AM

Re: Family and friends not into your wedding?

I think we all go through this at some time during our planning process. My family isn't too excited about it as FH's family is. Only my MOH (my cousin) is really into helping me with things. My parents are also into it but that's about it.

chelley720 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 11:15 AM

Re: Family and friends not into your wedding?

i feel the same way sometimes. I try and tell my mom or sis who is already married some of my ideas and they always find something neg to say. They always bring up how much something will cost or when I told them that I was going to have an afternoon wedding my sis was like dont do it think about how crazy the morn was for my wedding and it was an evening one. I know money is tight and they prob are just giving me some good advice but i have 2 years b4 the wedding and would like them to b happy for me...

dfw343 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 11:21 AM

Re: Family and friends not into your wedding?

same here...only FH's family is excited and helping (thank God for them).

dfernandes82 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 11:30 AM

Re: Family and friends not into your wedding?

Im in the same boat. My sister got married a couple of months ago and everytime I say somehting about what we booked or got,she has something neg to say. FYI I was super excited when she was planning her wedding and was always positive I think she should do the same.

Everyone else in the family is excited.

MrsDR2010 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 11:47 AM

Re: Family and friends not into your wedding?

I feel the same way. I honestly have even learned a valuable lesson. You really know who your friends are when planning a wedding.

Lady12 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 12:22 PM

Re: Family and friends not into your wedding?

Sometimes I allow that thought comes to my head for two seconds, but then I brush it away. I am constantly talking about my wedding, whether people ask me or not. Some people might think its a little obnoxious, but I think they see the geniuine joy and excitement, so they might not mind as much. I have people talking about weddings in general, everywhere I go. People at work are even talking about when they got married! So dont allow anyone to take the joy of planning your wedding!

piscescutie2002 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 04:25 PM

Re: Family and friends not into your wedding?

Someone did point out that my family and bridesmaids may get more excited when it's closer to the event. Right now, there's not much for them to do although we should start looking for BM dresses.

My sister who is my MOH is really excited and she has lots to do since she is also crafty and making the favors. I have 5 women total in the bridal party. 2 besides my sister are good about it. The other two seem to care less and are so wrapped up in their lives with career and kids. It bothers me. I found a Saturday in Nov. for them to all come together and hear my ideas and meet each other.

I did realize that some people aren't the type to get excited about much anyhow. The two in my wedding are more low key, practical types that don't even think much of their own birthday so why would they be jumping around like excited elves for my wedding? :)

I just love holidays, birthdays and things like this. Some women aren't like that so the two in my bridal party that are more laid back may actually come in handy when I am stressed the day of and need calming people around me.

This wedding is a good lesson for me to stop worrying what others think. I could drive myself nuts and really, what others think or say shouldn't make them superior to me including their lack of excitement. It is hard to be around negative people though. I guess this is the place to go (this web site) when you need others to share in the excitement.
Thanks y'all

springsandra Posted: Oct 19, 2009 05:05 PM

Re: Family and friends not into your wedding?

That's another reason this site is great -- no one is EVER going to care about your wedding as much as you do, and other brides get it! So share share share to your heart's content with us!

It doesn't mean your family doesn't care about YOU or love YOU -- they definitely do! This isn't their party, it's yours and your future husband's. Don't feel bad they aren't as into it as you are. They'll get more excited as it gets closer. For now, talk to us! It'll satisfy you. We get excited over every little detail!

es2189 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 05:09 PM

Re: Family and friends not into your wedding?

I feel the same way! Except for me the worst is my sister because she's jealous I'm getting married before she is (she's older). Sad!! Hopefully things will change as the date gets closer.

piscescutie2002 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 07:08 PM

Re: Family and friends not into your wedding?

My sister is older, a lot older, and really isn't good in relationships. Very moody and to herself so I doubt she will ever get married. She even says this is the closest she'll come to a wedding so I let her get excited and sometimes when I like something and she doesn't like it, I say OK and move on to something we both like such as the flower girl basket. Not for the big things though. I have to draw the line.

In this case though, my sister will probably never marry and if so, not have a big wedding so she is happy to have the MOH title and my wedding. Your sister probably will get married but feels sorry for herself that she is older and you beat her to it like somehow she failed. I felt sorry for myself when all my friends got married and started having babies and I wasn't even dating someone but I didn't act out because it's not their fault nor my place as a friend to make them pay for it. It made me work harder to get what I wanted which finally paid off.

A nice guilt trip on your sister perhaps even though I hate to condone manipulation! LOL Pout and tell her, 'you don't really love me. If you did, you would rise above your own self pity and be happy for me.' It does work but I hate to encourage dysfunction! Give her a task she can feel good about! :)

whtevjenny Posted: Oct 19, 2009 07:47 PM

Re: Family and friends not into your wedding?

as you get closer people will start asking more!

piscescutie2002 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 10:58 PM

Re: Family and friends not into your wedding?

Posted by whtevjenny

as you get closer people will start asking more!

I see that your wedding is coming up soon in November. I had the thought that perhaps people would be more into it, bridesmaids, family etc when the date gets closer. It's in May. Probably by February and I'll be sorry I even complained! :)

Mommy2BeBride Posted: Oct 19, 2009 11:04 PM

Re: Family and friends not into your wedding?

My family hardly acts excited && I have asked my mother numerous times for some ideas, or to go look at dresses & she just doesnt want to yet. She says it's to early to do anything, which i'm sure is true but at the same time, I'm excited and want to do things now! lol

Thank goodness for LIW because all the girls on here are amazing & help you with any questions you have! It's great. we are all like a little family!