Family Drama continuing on for way to long, what would you do. Warning-Extremely long
Okay, so there has been problems with my family since November. Everyone eles, but one cousin (a bm) and myself ,is way to stubborn to talk.
Let me give you the background.
My aunt passed away last September from cancer. This was of course very hard to deal with for the entire family. My mom and her were only 13 months apart and did everything together growing up and were very very close. But they moved to Jersey YEARS ago, so distance became an issue since neither sister drives over bridges.Now my Aunt was only 49 when she passed, and my Grandfather is still alive, so I cant even imagine what he went through. She was still married to her HS sweetheart and had 4 children, (ages 28, 24, 20 and 12; all now a year older). All of my cousins are supposed to me in the BP. If I had my way it would only be 2 cousins (the 24 and 20 year old, since they are the ones I really speak to).
When my Aunt first passed away my cousins (the 24 year old) came in almost every weekend with her bf and stayed over. My mom and my family were there for her and the rest of them continuously. My mom called all of them as much as possible and were their shoulder to cry on. As time went on, mostly during the summer, they started coming in less frequently. My cousin broke things off with her Fiancee and kinda distanced herself, I guess she needed to be alone. (BUT again, this is the cousin I am still speaking with right now).
Ok thats the background.
This is where the drama begins.
My youngest cousin's birthday was in November. My mom reminded my grandpa and uncles to call her for her birthday. But that day, she had stayed late at work and then our dog got really sick, so she forgot to call. She remembered first thing the next morning and called, no one answered. She tried all day and week and no one would return her calls. Finally she spoke to one of the cousins and they said they were all mad at my mom.. ...Should mention that not one of us ever gets a call from them for our birthdays.
Next thing, my stepdad and my siblings and I threw my Mom a Suprise 50th birthday party in December. I never got an RSVP from them (only the one cousin) so I had to call them up and their answer was I GUESS we'll be there. Like Thanks.
You could feel the tension when they arrived. They were very rude to all of us. The oldest cousin turned his back to my Grandpa. They were going to leave the party without saying goodbye before cake. They were made because we gave my mom her gift in front of everyone. They said that should've been done at home.
Now since then I've seen My uncle, and two cousins in the neighborhood at Unos, with an unfamiliar woman. My family suspects that my Uncle is trying to get them all against us so he can bring in his new babe and we not find out. Now the thing that also pis sed us off, was that they come in from Jersey, are 5 minutes from My Grandpa and ourselves, and they dont visit. You shoul'dve seen their faces when they saw FH and me!
I've tried to be the mediator in all of this, but my Uncle and 3 cousins have made no contact with anyone in the family since the party. We've called them for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and were basically rushed off the phone. I sent the 3 girls BM newsletters to keep them informed of whats going on.I had to contact them to see if the received them. Now again, my cousin which I'm closest to has still been talking to me about wedding stuff and has even seen my dress. But with the cousin who will be 21 next week, I've emailed and get nastier emails back. All i do in the emails is bring up the facts about how my grandpa deserves respect, and imagine how he feels in all of this. I got a recent one today where she said actions speak louder than words in response to the fact that I said I am not a phone person, hate the phone and am not one to call some one out of the blue to talk for an hour. With that, it works both ways. When I have called, she never answers or calls back. So I feel like I bother her and what more can I do.
At this point, I dont see the families coming together AT ALL. The only one I still want as a part of my wedding is the one I still talk to, the one I've been like sisters with since we're only 13 months apart. Would it be wrong to count the other three out of the BP?
I understand that I cant imagine what its like to lose a parent, and I feel so bad for them. And my family has tried to be there for them, but to them its not enough and we get pused away.
Thanks so much for reading ALL of this, if you did
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Let me give you the background.
My aunt passed away last September from cancer. This was of course very hard to deal with for the entire family. My mom and her were only 13 months apart and did everything together growing up and were very very close. But they moved to Jersey YEARS ago, so distance became an issue since neither sister drives over bridges.Now my Aunt was only 49 when she passed, and my Grandfather is still alive, so I cant even imagine what he went through. She was still married to her HS sweetheart and had 4 children, (ages 28, 24, 20 and 12; all now a year older). All of my cousins are supposed to me in the BP. If I had my way it would only be 2 cousins (the 24 and 20 year old, since they are the ones I really speak to).
When my Aunt first passed away my cousins (the 24 year old) came in almost every weekend with her bf and stayed over. My mom and my family were there for her and the rest of them continuously. My mom called all of them as much as possible and were their shoulder to cry on. As time went on, mostly during the summer, they started coming in less frequently. My cousin broke things off with her Fiancee and kinda distanced herself, I guess she needed to be alone. (BUT again, this is the cousin I am still speaking with right now).
Ok thats the background.
This is where the drama begins.
My youngest cousin's birthday was in November. My mom reminded my grandpa and uncles to call her for her birthday. But that day, she had stayed late at work and then our dog got really sick, so she forgot to call. She remembered first thing the next morning and called, no one answered. She tried all day and week and no one would return her calls. Finally she spoke to one of the cousins and they said they were all mad at my mom.. ...Should mention that not one of us ever gets a call from them for our birthdays.
Next thing, my stepdad and my siblings and I threw my Mom a Suprise 50th birthday party in December. I never got an RSVP from them (only the one cousin) so I had to call them up and their answer was I GUESS we'll be there. Like Thanks.
You could feel the tension when they arrived. They were very rude to all of us. The oldest cousin turned his back to my Grandpa. They were going to leave the party without saying goodbye before cake. They were made because we gave my mom her gift in front of everyone. They said that should've been done at home.
Now since then I've seen My uncle, and two cousins in the neighborhood at Unos, with an unfamiliar woman. My family suspects that my Uncle is trying to get them all against us so he can bring in his new babe and we not find out. Now the thing that also pis sed us off, was that they come in from Jersey, are 5 minutes from My Grandpa and ourselves, and they dont visit. You shoul'dve seen their faces when they saw FH and me!
I've tried to be the mediator in all of this, but my Uncle and 3 cousins have made no contact with anyone in the family since the party. We've called them for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and were basically rushed off the phone. I sent the 3 girls BM newsletters to keep them informed of whats going on.I had to contact them to see if the received them. Now again, my cousin which I'm closest to has still been talking to me about wedding stuff and has even seen my dress. But with the cousin who will be 21 next week, I've emailed and get nastier emails back. All i do in the emails is bring up the facts about how my grandpa deserves respect, and imagine how he feels in all of this. I got a recent one today where she said actions speak louder than words in response to the fact that I said I am not a phone person, hate the phone and am not one to call some one out of the blue to talk for an hour. With that, it works both ways. When I have called, she never answers or calls back. So I feel like I bother her and what more can I do.
At this point, I dont see the families coming together AT ALL. The only one I still want as a part of my wedding is the one I still talk to, the one I've been like sisters with since we're only 13 months apart. Would it be wrong to count the other three out of the BP?
I understand that I cant imagine what its like to lose a parent, and I feel so bad for them. And my family has tried to be there for them, but to them its not enough and we get pused away.
Thanks so much for reading ALL of this, if you did
