Does anyone else out there have a parent that will not be attending the wedding? My mother and I have not got along in years, we never even speak (unless to argue). She is not invited to the wedding, however she would never attend even if she was. I am really asking if anyone else has a situation like this because I am feeling really alone. I have planned this wedding by myself so far (well FH helps a lot). But it is difficult doing these things with a family. My mom has also turned by brother and sister against me for the most part (though they may still come to the wedding). I really am not looking for sympathy, I am just curious is anyone else out there doing this wedding thing on their own without certain family members? Thanks for listening ladies...
cw0904
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Re: Family Questions....
FH and I wish that his sister wouldn't be at the wedding but we have no choice. She is a horrible mother, woman and daughter. I despise her, something I have never felt for someone in my entire life. But she is the low of all low. At least we have a say in all the other engagements of the wedding process-and she is NOT invited. She will never step foot in my parents home. She is not going to the engagement party, meeting my parents, going to the bridal shower, bachelorette party NONE!! I am praying that she will not go to the wedding and not respond but I can see her appearing to critique everything. As if she can or should b/c she will never have what her brother has and will have. There have been a couple of instances where I would have spit on her face because of her ridiculous behavior. But deep down inside, I am a woman, an adult and I don't want to stoop to her immature level. It bothers me that she will never be a part of our lives and my children to come but FH gets along really well with my sister and at this point we have given up on his sister. She is a ruthless 27 year old who will end up living off of her parents for the rest of her life. What is more important to her is going out w/ her stupid friends and meeting men. Ghetto!!! And her child will end up loving his grandmother more than her b/c she raised him. Wait he already does!! I could go on & on about this immature little girl, but I won't. My mind needs to be focused on more entertaining things than her! The love of my life and our wedding!
Suzanne
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My Sister didnt come to my wedding reception.. she is a very miserable person and so negative.. she told my parents she just couldnt go (apparently she is upset about a break up with her boyfriend!. they where not engaged or living together..) she is vey self centered... she showed up at the ceremony, and started companing that she wasnt going to take and F$%^&%$ pictures.. and all of my husbands family heard her complaining.. I wish that i would not have even invited her, but i can take pleasure in knowing that years down the road she will realize that she missed out on my wedding and alot of other things and feel very terrible...and to be honest at the wedding we had such a great time i didnt even know she wasnt there..
cw0904
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Re: Family Questions....
Bride02 I agree with you completely on later your sister will realize what she has done. My FH's sister will realize it ( I hate to say this and please for those that have lost their parents don't take this the wrong way) but my FH's sister will only realize the damage she has caused her family and son, the problems she has brought to her family and the lack of raising her child, when her mother is completely out of her life. Only then she will realize that she has used everyone for her own benefit and should have been more focused on raising her child and spending time with her family instead of spending nights out with friends doing Lord only knows what and with whom. And by that point it will be too late. She will be crying wolf to her brother and all he will be interested in is his nephew. This is why I don't understand how a mother that she claims to be treats her son the way she does. For those that can't have children or don't have parents in their lives would love to be in her position to be able to see those special moments in the child's life. But she doesn't. Stay strong ladies. Just know that your parents and loved ones are looking down at you and smiling knowing that from a distance they are happy for you and wish you nothing but the best. They will always love you whether near or far. I know somewhere up above is my grandpa smiling away and the day of my wedding I will mentally have saved a dance for him. The best wishes to all...
shamma
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Re: Family Questions....
I have had a really sad engagement when it relates to my FI's family. After we announced our engagement we invited everyone over for dinner and his whole family came and not one of them said a word of congratulations to me. It was so shocking to me I had to ask him if he told them
I said honey, from your mother all the way down to your sisters no one said a word to me, its as if it never happened. At first I was sad to know that people who should be celebrating such a happy time with you was acting like nothing special has happened. I did not know how to take it. I spoke to my mom about it and she said try not to let it bother me.
It is just weird to know that none of them asked the date, to see my ring, what colors if anyone could help...NOTHING. Mind you he is the baby of 11 children, who gets why some people act the way they do. People have said weddings and funerals brings out the worse in some people I guess I have experienced it first hand.
Well with or without their well wishes we are going to have a fabulous wedding. We are the ones that will have to live with each other when everyone else has gone home. So I will have to spend my effort making this the best marriage and not worry about what others do.
All the best to everyone
Happy planning
Cindy
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Christy- So sorry for your issue. Try not to let things get in the way with your excitement with the planning. I have had such major problems with FH's mother and sometimes the dissapointment and disbelief can really bring you down. Sometimes things are the way they are and you can only accept them and move on. Even though I already learned, I have to remind myself that you cant change anybody. Enjoy your planning and know that you are not alone.
jennbaby
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Re: Family Questions....
the ONLY people attending my wedding from my mohers & fathers sides are: my mom, my dad, and my cousin. Yes this is true. My dads family all drifted apart years ago. my grandfather (only living grandparent) lives in Calif. and is way too old to fly here. my moms family doesnt speak to her because she owns a house! YES this is also true! They think our great aunt gave my mom money for her house before she passed on, which she didn't, but even if she did, that was my great aunt's money to do what she pleased. my great aunt bought the whole family things, one got a car, one got a pool. etc....my mom did NOT get her house bought or even a down payment. anyway, so the only one we spoke to was ONE of my moms sisters (who is 28 yrs old) who now i dont speak to anymore, (i posted this on another post:) my cousins wedding is this july and mine is in may. my cousin asked me to be a bridesmaid and then she 'assumed' on her own, that maybe its too much for me financially to be in her wedding, so she UNASKED ME!!! so if any of you ladies think you are the only one(s) with family problems, just read this board lol! oh and p.s.-one of my other replies to another post on this website, my FMIL never asks how thing are going or even bothers with me at all! nice huh?!
Cindy
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Jennbaby- I think I responded to one of your posts a while back. The whole FMIL issue, I can totally relate to. I remember reading about your cousin and the whole wedding party issue and I responded about my situation. Good luck to you again. Enjoy your planning!
jennbaby
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Thanks Cindy. It hurts to not have people to enjoy your planning with you, thats why I am on here so much, we are all like sisters & family. Thanks!
Cindy
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Jennbaby-Anytime! I totally understand your hurt since I feel it too. Always here to listen
DianaL
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Christy,
I lost my mother so I am doing the planning without her. My FH will not be inviting his father, who has not shown any interest in him for years. In fact, when my FH was very ill and in the hospital, his father yelled at me for calling him to tell him his son was sick, and ended the conversation by cursing me out. My FH talked about inviting his father, but after what I told him happened while he was in the hospital, and the fact that his father never showed up or called (his father is a doctor, by the way), he decided not to invite him. Telling him about his father's behavior was the hardest thing I have ever had to tell anyone.
I know he will be thinking about this on our wedding day, but sometimes you just have to cut your losses to have the joy you truly deserve in life and on your wedding day.
JodiBabe
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If neither you nor your FH want her there then DO NOT invite her!!!! It's as simple as that! It is YOUR Day!!!!!!
christy
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I just want to thank you all for sharing, and responding to my post. I have had a hard time trying to enjoy the planning when I feel like I am alone 'family wise'. You all have been great. I go on this board because you all share my engagement and planning with me, and you all help make it exciting for me (especially during those hards times). Thanks again, you are all the best!
Cindy
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Anytime Christy. Also I wanted to tell you that news 12 is doing a segment next tuesday on a bride that had her wedding at Flowerfield. Try to remember to watch.
Linda D.
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Christy, When my husband and I were married last August, his father (we call him his 'birth father') did not attend.
He didn't mind at all though, and it truly didn't affect our day in the least.
Good Luck to you and don't let anyone upset your special day. :)
jgandg
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Christy,
I just read your post even though it is from a little bit ago. I just wanted to say that you will have an amazing, special wedding day surrounded by poeple who care about you. I too have big, big problems with my mom, and its weird planning without her help. (Its even weirder trying to explain it to people, but thats another story). But you have succeeded in life thus far without her. Or inspite of her! Anyway, have fun planning and I wish you all the best.
michele31
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Re: Family Questions....
I am very lucky that I have a lot of people helping me and supporting me through the plans. But I miss both of my grandmother's terribly, I mean truly painfully miss them ever day. They both passed away 3 years ago- although it feels like yesterday. And not having them help me with the plans breaks my heart all of the time. But I am still lucky enough to have others around me. Try to ask friends to help you. Sometimes we think that people are too busy or will not want to help but I have found that not to be the case. Lots of times people are happy to help out, in fact they enjoy it. Try to surround yourself with good, honest, supportive people. Dealing with these miserable in-laws would drain so much joy out of the planning. I am sorry that so many of you have to deal with those people.
