Family Vent!!

FH and I had our Auf Ruf at our temple (we're both Jewish) this past Saturday- it's kind of like announcing before the congregation that you're getting married and get the Rabbi's blessings- we decided to do this two weeks before our wedding because this coming Saturday they have a Bar Mitzvah at our temple for some kid I don't know. Anyhow, FH and I put up $1,000 to sponsor the kiddush luncheon after the service- it was so nice because not only did FH and I put up our money but the temple went and matched (to our surprise) whatever we put up... so we're looking at $2,000 worth of good food and it was really really great- everyone is still talking about it to this day!!
FH's parents live in PA and they traveled down (took them 2 hours to get to NY) on Saturday morning just for this event and they stayed the weekend so his dad can join in on FH's bachelor party. We also had some of his relatives from Westchester, NJ and also Manhattan come as well for this event.
My family lives both in NJ and also Staten Island and I have a aunt that I am close to lives in Queens but pretty much she's 83 and can't get out unless one of her sons drive her. The one son that Iives in NJ I know is sick so I wasn't expecting him to come as long as they make the wedding I am ok with him not coming. I spoke to my aunt Friday morning and she just mentioned to me that if it was snowing she won't come to the Auf Ruf- I said that was fine because we just had a ton of snow- otherwise she said she'd be there with her other son that lives in Staten Island. I said fine and long story short she (or the rest of my family) didn't show up!
I was mad and when I called her to find out what happened- she said that she was sick for the past three days and that her son that lives in Staten Island also got sick- mind you I just spoke with her the day before and she didn't tell me she was sick!!
I'm so mad but when I spoke to her I really wanted to tell her what I thought of her and her son not coming! I think the whole congregation took pity on me that nobody showed up on my side of the family.
I'm just so mad that I can't tell my aunt off or anything atm - I don't know if she's lying or what and it just makes me feel like I have no family that supports me.
Yet after all this my aunt and her son are supposed to walk me down the aisle in two weeks

I'm so sorry Danielle.

I can't imagine what you're feeling. You must be very dissappointed and also upset... If it was me, I'd tell her off (but I'm crazy).

Maybe they really were sick and she thought they'd be OK to travel. That's why it wasn't mentioned the day before? Give her the benefit of the doubt in this situation, she's 83. I'm sure your family supports you - more than you realize.

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

I'm so sorry Danielle.

I can't imagine what you're feeling. You must be very dissappointed and also upset... If it was me, I'd tell her off (but I'm crazy).

Maybe they really were sick and she thought they'd be OK to travel. That's why it wasn't mentioned the day before? Give her the benefit of the doubt in this situation, she's 83. I'm sure your family supports you - more than you realize.

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Thanks for the hugs.. I can use them atm over this.

She did tell me that she'd be sniffling during the service - idk if I can give her the benefit but I will mention 'oh sorry that you missed the Auf Ruf you mom told me you were sick' to her son and see his reaction the day of the wedding...that will tell me for sure if she's telling the truth.

I did tell her all the details and how nice everything was and how she missed certain things- I even had the temple in their program put her in there (with FH's parents) when they asked who should they mention their congratulations to... now I wonder if I should have bothered to do it.

I honestly wonder if they do care- I felt so embarrassed that FH had all his immediate family (even his two brothers that really don't care about him showed up)..I think the Rabbi and the congregation feels sorry for me that I didn't have the support there from my side of the family.

The worst part is this- if I tell her off either way in her eyes I'll be wrong.. no sense in doing that now.

It's understandalble that you feel the way you do

It's not a good feeling to feel like you don't have your family's support, but you have you FH's support. Don't feel bad

awwwwwwwwww im sorry to hear this!!!!
Families sukk sometimes!!! I hope she wasnt lying to you, that is just so wrong! If it was a small cold she couold have taken something for temp relief, its not like you are gonna ever have this again.
I'm not having an Auf Ruf but I know if I did and my fam didn't show, i'd be hurt too!!!!

Thanks and I was thinking when she told me that she would be sniffling 'so what who doesn't sniffle/cough in a temple when they might be slightly sick'