Hi ladies! As some of you may already know, I had some drama with the FBIL this past weekend. In relation to that whole thing, I just thought of something this a.m. that is worrying me...
I DO NOT want her in our pix...and that's going to be a big deal, I just know it. My thing is, a cuz of mine did that a few years ago & now her brother's ex GF is all over their wedding pix & she totally regrets it. My FBIL has been with this girl for about 5 years (they've been friends for over 10) & he plans on proposing next summer, but they've had A LOT of SERIOUS probs this past year & even though she's stuck around through a lot of stuff, there's no guaranteeing that she won't hit her point soon & just walk away. I haven't discussed this with the FH yet because I'm not even sure if I should bring it up or not. Do you think having her in some shots & then asking her to step out for others with just the family would be insulting? (I have a feeling that she'll be REALLY insulted no matter what though) Are any of you in a similar situation and, if so, could you please let me know how you decided to deal with it? Thanks!
diva7531
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I would ask for her to be in some pics, like 1 or 2 and then not the rest. GL!
LB and DC
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from your previous post, it sounds like no matter what you do, she will be insulted. my advice is:
THIS IS YOUR @*&%^*&$^# WEDDING!!!
if you don't want her in your pics on the not-so-off chance she won't be a family member a few years down the road, so be it. but i would compromise a bit. take FAMILY ONLY pics first, then sweetly ask her to step in for some group shots. much easier to ask someone to join in then step out, IMO.
good luck!!
Licee15
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My thoughts- she is already pissed off- so what do you have to lose...
So sorry, that you have to go thru this BS!!!!
But don't let anyone ruin it.
PattyK
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Posted by diva7531
I would ask for her to be in some pics, like 1 or 2 and then not the rest. GL!
I agree. The best thing to do to keep peace would to ask her to be in some pictures and not in others.
Katie&Chris2006
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Posted by diva7531
I would ask for her to be in some pics, like 1 or 2 and then not the rest. GL!
This is what I did. I don't have major issues with her or anything but my mom regrets having my uncle's first fiance in all of her wedding photos so I didn't want something similar happening to me. To keep the peace and not cause any drama to take away from you on your big day, I recommend asking to step into a couple, but definitely not most. HTH!
MissAngel
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Thanks ladies...I think that's what we'll do. We'll take a few pix that his bro can have, but she won't be in all of them. Since she's already so pissed off there will be no way of appeasing her 100%, but maybe this will help a bit (that and we're going to ask her if she wants to ride in the limos)...Oh well, we'll see I guess!
MissAngel
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Posted by LB and DC
take FAMILY ONLY pics first, then sweetly ask her to step in for some group shots. much easier to ask someone to join in then step out, IMO.
good luck!!
Excellent idea - thanks! Sometimes it's all in the approach and asking her to join in rather than step out will send a positive, but subtle message. Thanks so much!
SN2BMRSBURTE
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I was in my SIL's wedding pics...BUT...I was also engaged to her brother already, AND I did not ask to be in the pics, as a matter of fact I stood off to the side, and then they asked me to be in them. I would NEVER expect to be in someone's pics.
Honestly, I wouldn't want her in them, you don't seem to get along with her that well, and what if they break up? Then you have a bunch of pics with her in them for no reason.
If you feel bad about telling her that, then why don't you tell photographer to do one or two family pics with her in it, and the rest without her in them. Tell him to grab everyone who is supposed to be in the pic, and if she staarts walking over, tell him to tell her he wants her in the next one or something, so he looks like the bad guy
futrmrsblt
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id let her stand in 1 or 2.. they take like 40 so u can just throw those out or give them to him haha
JennysMOH
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Posted by diva7531
I would ask for her to be in some pics, like 1 or 2 and then not the rest. GL!
This is what we did. One cousin brought his current girlfriend and the other brought his fiancee. So we asked them to be in a few pics and then we said just the actual family (we included my cousin's husband because he's the male cousin we have always wanted lol)
Chrissywish
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At my cousin's wedding it went like this.
First...they did just blood related immediate family. Then they added wives and fiances. Then they added girlfriends.
If you start with the basics and then add, she won't feel left out because you aren't asking her to 'step out' of the pictures.
This will also give you the option when you do your albums and enlargements to choose the pictures without her in them
Flutterbye922
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Your photographer can totally take care of this for you. Just make him the bad guy. 'Immediate family only'
MissAngel
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Thanks ladies - I LOVE the idea of making the photographer the bad guy!! LOL Should make my life a hella lot easier that day
TnOiOnL
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family only! no questions asked! i know its easier said than done.. but c'mon.. I would never jump into someone else's wedding photo even after dating my 'FH' for 5 years...
JessMxPx88
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I would definetly not allow her to be in the family pics if she is only his girlfriend and not married into the family. I would let her be in some group pictures but for the family ones, I would have a talk with your photographer beforehand and have him announce that the next few pictures are for blood-related family members and married members of the family, that way she wont blame you, she'll be pissed at the photographer.
sugarkube4
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Do NOT put her in the family pics.. unless she is legally aprt of the family, she does NOT belong in those pictures... You have EVERY right not to want her in pics.. what are they going to do if they break up one day??? No...
PegaLega
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If its going to cause more drama that day...do some with and do some without her. When DHs sister got married last year this is how they did it-and my feeling werent hurt at all b/c I knew come my wedding I wouldnt want her husband in all my pictures either
kflan75
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personally speaking I am an only child so i dont have the experience in this dept, but I think GF's come and go... and if you feel strongly about not including her-- you shouldnt have to
jgl
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i think that in all the Bridal party pictures or the pictures with the family you can do without her
and maybe just to apease her and others ask the photographer to take some without her and then have her join for 1 .
I know how you feel if FBIL's gf pulkled that FBIL would be out - but the good thing is that no one likes his GF !
