Fed Up!

Does anyone else just get fed up with wedding planning ? I am in a rut right now! I have very busy people in my wedding party so I can't go to them about things...my mother...well she is just annoying me right now like only a mother can (I don't think I need to elaborate on that, I am sure we have all been there with our mothers or step mothers or FMIL's) FH is not really into the planning thing right now. EVERYONE keeps telling me I have plenty of time to do things and I am trying to plan this darn thing from 1000 miles away! I don't have plenty of time to do things...my time is darn limited and when I do get to do things they are very rushed! When I am on Long Island I feel completly stressed out with trying to balance getting wedding plans done, seeing family (both sides) and making time for my friends. I really have no reason to complain, I am just cranky about it and needed a good place to vent. I am absolutly one of those people who needs to put words down to sort through things and this place has been my wedding savior. Thanks for listening and understanding.

Re: Fed Up!

Just take a deep breath. We have all been there! My advice is to make a very detailed list. And take one step at a time. Perhaps this month will be only ceremony arrangements for example.

Nobody (especially your FH!) is going to take this as seriously as you. Trust me - and all of us on this. And very soon this wedding will become about everybody else but the two of you. Make the list and then take a little break from it. I found it good to just read the boards and not respond or post for a little bit. Your mind will always be turning - but you will come back feeling refreshed. Maybe surf the net for a couple of weeks and buy some early holiday gifts or something.

Good luck and again - we have ALL been there!

Re: Fed Up!

Thanks Jenny, your post made me feel better

Re: Fed Up!

Debbie, sweetie, I feel your pain! Big time! I completely understand EVERYTHING you just said b/c I planned my wedding from 3,000 miles away. It was NOT as much fun as I had hoped, and I also missed out on alot of the pre-wedding excitement that most brides are lucky to have, simply by being surrounded by people who are also involved with their wedding.

Take heart...I think it's normal to get fed up when you are trying to take on so much. Long-distance brides have twice the stress of local brides b/c of trying to cram as I like to say, 'ten pounds of sh*t into a five pound bag.' I went through EXACTLY what you are saying about planning and visiting, and trying to squeeze in time for friends. Sometimes it's not possible to do it all. Just ask Michele31 how many times we were supposed to have social plans last year, but wedding plans or family visiting always came first. I even joked that it was a wonder that all of my friends showed up on the wedding day, b/c I had so rarely seen them all in the year prior. But, the morale of the story is that friends and family do understand, and if you need help, you should definitely ASK someone LOCAL to help. It will save your sanity!

Best of luck, and if you need a very sympathetic ear, send me a forum mail.

Re: Fed Up!

more sympathy from another long distance planner! Like Claudine, I planned our wedding from CA. It was frustrating at times, but I found one benefit of being away from the action is that wedding planning didn't take over our life.

I also used what resources I had in LI. My parents went to countless reception halls to narrow down our choices. They also saw a bunch of bands after we narrowed down them down from tapes (I never saw my band live until my wedding - but I knew they'd be great from the video and when my dad loved them - he's a DJ fan)

Yes, trips home were very hectic. But I'd make the best of my weekends. If I was going home for another wedding/holiday/shower, I'd make time for vendor appts, etc. From June 2001 (when we got engaged) to our wedding in April 2002, I flew from SF to NY 8 times.

Trust me - it'll all come together beautifully!

Re: Fed Up!

I agree that you have it MUCH hardier than most of us. I always felt so bad that Claudine was sooo far away and when she got home she was running around every minute. It was nice when I got to go to the favor place with her and when I would visit her in CA we looked at invites together. But mostly she was doing her planning alone with a phone and a computer.
It is not easy, but you sound like you need a break. We ALL do sometimes. I have taken a few breaks during my 15 months of planning. In fact this weekend Scott and I are going to Boston overnight- no computers, no wedding plans, no RSVPs, no nothing! Go out and forget about the wedding for a few days. It makes life much better when you take breaks from it.

Re: Fed Up!

Deb, it sounds like you do need a break from your wedding.
So maybe you can help plan MY wedding instead?

just kidding. hang in there! I have had those moments too- its not easy, but you are so good at it and so organized and together. I am sure it will blow over soon and you will be back to planning bliss.

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Here's a tip from Mr. Miagi: Breath in, breathe out. Wax on, wax off. Feel better yet?! Vent anytime you need to, that's what we're here for.

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Another long distance bride here... planning from Texas. Luckily my parents are retired and my mom loves all the wedding stuff so they have done a lot...went and checked out vendors etc. My advice would be to start doing those things that everyone considers 'last minute details' NOW! I have a couple of months to go, but I am almost finished with my mass programs, have printed my own table number cards, assembled the favors, bought all the BP gifts and even formatted my placecard template so I can just fill them in quickly when we have the seating done. We are getting married 4 days after x-mas so it will be a crazy week and the last thing I will have time for are last minute details. So take an hour here, and an hour there and start on some things like I mentioned. You're life will be much easier!!

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I understand what your going through. Right now I feel like I'm doing this alone. Now my family is helping me, cause Im going dress shopping and the florist now.

I'm getting alot done before I move in November. So I'll have little things done before the wedding from 1500 miles away

Re: Fed Up!

I think everyone is right debbie when they tell you that you need a break..
Takeing even a week off is not going to hurt you.
You seem to have alot done already.
Yes, it's harder being further away but we all stress just about the same.
My wedding is in a few weeeks and I cant believe all that I have to do. I can't even sleep at night anymore cause all I do is worry.

Take a deep breathe, go out to dinner, have some wine... maybe even a few shots?

Chin up, it will all get done

Re: Fed Up!

Debbie, I agree, why don't you just take a week off, or if that is too much, just a couple of days off for yourself. Get a massage or a body wrap or something to pamper yourself, if the wedding budget doesn't allow that, get your FH to give you one !!!!

The point is take a little bit of time out to smell the roses and you'll be much more refreshed and ready to conquer the long distance planning.

Good luck !!!!!