Feel bad for FH - FIL related

So FH was kinda excited because my shower is this weekend and his parents were going to come up for the second time since he's been living here (3 years). They were going to stay the weekend and while his mom was at the shower he was going to spend time with his dad (the only other normal member of the family) but now the mother decided that she's going to fly in on her own on Saturday morning at 8:30 and then her flight out is at 7:30 that night. And she told him she doesn't have time to get a gift so he has to do it. (She doesn't work she could have taken care of this two months ago when she got the friggin invitation).

So now he's kinda bummed because he was looking forward to showing them Long Island in the summer time and getting to spend time with his father and now he's barely even going to see his mother. All this does is give him extra stress about making sure he gets her on time from JFK then he has to bring her to East Islip and then come back to bring me to the shower and now he's freaking out and annoyed (a great combo) trying to find whatever it is she said she wants to buy us. I told him to tell me what it is and I'll track it down for him. He's pissed she waited to ask him to do this at the last minute because apparently the thing she said she wanted to get is not avaialble in stores and there is no time to order anything and she's getting mad at him.

I just feel bad for him because they always pull this crap. He was so excited to take them to the wineries and do outdoorsy stuff and now all he has is a headache. I really can't stand this woman. Nothing can ever just be an enjoyable experience. It's like she goes out of her way to figure out how to make things as difficult as possible for him.

omg. im so sorry!!

is there any chance you can just convince her that a giftcard (from BBB or wherever you are registered) is fine!! and you promise to use the $ towards whatever gift she intended to get you

ugh. how annoying. im sorry for you and him.

That's a good idea!!! I'm going to call him and suggest it.

Awww I'm sorry gina that u r goin thru all of this especially on the weekend of ur shower. It seems like everytime ur fmil gets involved its never a good outcome.

You're right... even the little things she can't just let go. Why decide YESTERDAY you're going to fly in and out on the same day without asking if anyone is even available to pick you up!!!???

Thats so frustrating and disappointing .. Im sorry you guys are going through that. I agree about the gift card - then you guys can pick out whatever you want

one more thought - are the last-minute flight deals THAT good????

if so, why not fly the dad in!! even tho FH wont be able to totally show him around and spend the wknd, they can definately spend some nice QT together - just the BOYS

some people are just so stupid and dont think of the others aroud them.

im sorry that she is making you guys go thruogh this now.

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Posted by little j

one more thought - are the last-minute flight deals THAT good????

if so, why not fly the dad in!! even tho FH wont be able to totally show him around and spend the wknd, they can definately spend some nice QT together - just the BOYS

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I think the flight was ridiculously expensive. Which I don't understand why she would decide to do that.

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Posted by GR2010

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Posted by little j

one more thought - are the last-minute flight deals THAT good????

if so, why not fly the dad in!! even tho FH wont be able to totally show him around and spend the wknd, they can definately spend some nice QT together - just the BOYS

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I think the flight was ridiculously expensive. Which I don't understand why she would decide to do that.

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oh... well sometimes, maybe an in/out trip is good.

now you just need to make sure you USE your weekend WITHOUT company properly

time to bake in the buff that will make DH feel better

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Posted by little j

time to bake in the buff that will make DH feel better

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LOL!!! Yes I am sure he would love that!!!

Gina...you know I feel you. I seriously think our FILs are on the same cycle because we just had a huge flare up as well. I'm here if you need to talk...and honestly, tell him not to stress. If he can't get her to the airport in time, she can take a cab!

there are so many things wrong with what she is doing...

wow that sounds terrible.. i'm sorry to hear that .. you think like its their son and fdil.. like they would make a bigger effort to spend some time with their own family!!! jeez... some ppl really are so strange... also I know this kinda mean.. but could he be like mom.. you know i wasn't planning on picking you up and dropping you off.. really is there anyway you can take car service?

Also has he said anything to her like.. I can't believe your making me do this?? What were you doing these past 2 months? He really should tell her how she feels.. bc apparently she doesn't get it!!

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Posted by MikesBride2B

Gina...you know I feel you. I seriously think our FILs are on the same cycle because we just had a huge flare up as well. I'm here if you need to talk...and honestly, tell him not to stress. If he can't get her to the airport in time, she can take a cab!

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Our cul de sac is going to have so many FIL issues....

I am just trying to stay positive and I know my grandma will kick her *** if she gets difficult. Grandma is no joke and doesn't take crap from anyone!! Which works out because then I can act like a lady at my own shower while Grandma is throwing down for me

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Posted by Ncarlo

wow that sounds terrible.. i'm sorry to hear that .. you think like its their son and fdil.. like they would make a bigger effort to spend some time with their own family!!! jeez... some ppl really are so strange... also I know this kinda mean.. but could he be like mom.. you know i wasn't planning on picking you up and dropping you off.. really is there anyway you can take car service?

Also has he said anything to her like.. I can't believe your making me do this?? What were you doing these past 2 months? He really should tell her how she feels.. bc apparently she doesn't get it!!

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He asked her why she decided this last minute when she had two months to plan and she just told him he's over reacting... Whenever we disagree with something she's doing we're always 'over reacting'

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Posted by little j

omg. im so sorry!!

is there any chance you can just convince her that a giftcard (from BBB or wherever you are registered) is fine!! and you promise to use the $ towards whatever gift she intended to get you

ugh. how annoying. im sorry for you and him.

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ITA! I am so sorry for you fh and you

As the mother to two sons who are both married I have to say that I just don't understand how you cannot be involved and happy for your son. I was thrilled when my sons got married and luckily I absolutely love both my DILs. I went with them to get their wedding dresses (along with their moms), helped with the showers (gave one myself for my out town DIL), did the RDs etc. I was in my glory helping them have the best day they could have. So it is beyond me how she can fly in just for the day and not even stay long enough to see her son.
With that said would you please give your FH a big hug from me and tell him to try and not stress out...it will all work out.
Good luck to you.

oh Gina...sorry she has to put a damper on your special day and ruin a fun weekend for your FH but maybe it better that she will be in and out and you wont have to deal with her for long