Re: Feel so terrible and upset and sad and mad and just ugh (this is a long one...and a doozy)
I can totally understand why you would snoop and why you feel guilty about snooping. As one of the few grooms on the site I try to only comment on threads in which I can offer some support or have knowledge of and I really feel like this is one of them , so here goes:
Your FH called you right away because he didn't want some insignificant woman from his past to effect the relationship with the most important woman in his life now. During the early stages of a relationship many guys keep talking to women, but the fact that he told her basically 'hey, you need to stop talking to me' shows you how serious he was about you and what his intentions were. I can name a handful of people who would have probably still kept talking to this other woman and kept her 'on the back burner' as a flirty friend but your FH didn't do that. I give him respect and points for that.
I wouldn't feel too guilty about snooping though. You have someone you care about and have devoted a lot of time, energy, money, and love into and when you got frightened that something could effect your life with him you took the steps necessary to find out just how deep it went, and what steps were needed to rectify a possible problem. In all honesty, I'm sure if FH had the roles reversed he would have done the same.
Love is a funny thing. It can bring you the most happiness you can ever experience, but at the drop of a hat and the faintest whisper it can bring you to your knees and bring your insecurities right back to the top. That's just the way it is. IMO FH and yourself did nothing wrong. He sent her packing when he saw you were the person he wanted and you were checking out to see if there was something you were missing. Don't stress it too much. If you really feel the need to make it up to him, some R & R , maybe his favorite meal or movie, or a nice massage I;m sure would do the trick.
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Spicy.... out!
Your FH called you right away because he didn't want some insignificant woman from his past to effect the relationship with the most important woman in his life now. During the early stages of a relationship many guys keep talking to women, but the fact that he told her basically 'hey, you need to stop talking to me' shows you how serious he was about you and what his intentions were. I can name a handful of people who would have probably still kept talking to this other woman and kept her 'on the back burner' as a flirty friend but your FH didn't do that. I give him respect and points for that.
I wouldn't feel too guilty about snooping though. You have someone you care about and have devoted a lot of time, energy, money, and love into and when you got frightened that something could effect your life with him you took the steps necessary to find out just how deep it went, and what steps were needed to rectify a possible problem. In all honesty, I'm sure if FH had the roles reversed he would have done the same.
Love is a funny thing. It can bring you the most happiness you can ever experience, but at the drop of a hat and the faintest whisper it can bring you to your knees and bring your insecurities right back to the top. That's just the way it is. IMO FH and yourself did nothing wrong. He sent her packing when he saw you were the person he wanted and you were checking out to see if there was something you were missing. Don't stress it too much. If you really feel the need to make it up to him, some R & R , maybe his favorite meal or movie, or a nice massage I;m sure would do the trick.
Spicy.... out!
