Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?
Original post by JimmysBride
Lately I've been thinking about my wedding in a much different way. I keep thinking what a huge waste of money it is! Don't get me wrong, I always wanted a big wedding and I love what I'm planning but it's just SOOOO much money on ONE day.... I feel guilty about spending it and I feel like it's a waste because I've been talking to a bunch of recently marrieds and they all say the same thing:
There's all this build up, all this planning and coordinating, dreaming and fantasizing and then it's over in one day. A few short hours. All the people I've spoken to say it's just a big blur and they barely remember any of it.
Well, hearing this makes me not want to spend another dime on things I or my guests won't even remember! What's the point? It doesn't matter if my flowers are arranged like so, my invites perfectly match the napkins on the tables, the favors go perfectly with the theme, etc etc.
I feel like we should've had a much smaller wedding maybe... I dunno... more like nothing really matters except the fact that we will be married at the end of the day so why bug out over everything and go the extra mile on every little detail....
Another thing is some people say that the little details DO matter and others say don't bother because they DON'T matter!
Anyone else get like this? Not very bride-y of me, I guess.... I kinda just want to get it over with in a sense... it's not that I'm not excited about it... it's just that all those little things don't seem to matter so much anymore.... I just want to pick whatever is easiest and cheapest and get on with it!
Sonicstef
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Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?
If it makes you feel any better...my wedding was not a blur and I remember every minute! Yes, its one day..but its an amazing day when things go well.
akanini
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Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?
Posted by 121502
It is a lot of money on one day, and I OFTEN think about this. But I also know how I will regret it if I don't do it the way I want it. But I have a nice compromise with myself. I never really get to frenzied thinking about the wedding or planning it and we are not going overboard on our vendors for this same reason. We splurged on our reception site, and well, everything else is just more like whatever to us. I think a lot of us feel THIS WAY '
My feelings in addition to the above. I've always wanted something nice. Too many people I've known have eloped or had something cheesy and wish they had done it nice. I' be the first my age among my peers to do it this way and I feel GOOD.
anjer4
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Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?
i have definitely been feeling the pressure of should we spend this or should we save for a house. i know i am partly doing the big thing for my parents because i think the money aspect of it is too much but then i think when i look back i want to know i had a special day and my friends and family enjoyed themselves..i think about taking off to vegas but then no one will be there to share the day with us and in the end who really wants that? i'm sure whatever you choose about the napkins or the flowers or even who does your hair won't matter to your guests as long as your happy.
akaMrsT
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Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?
Very interesting reading.........we just had this conversation today. I suggested we elope and now FI says no way.
bumbleb
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Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?
When we first started the whole process it was one headache after another, so FH and I decided we would have a wedding WE wanted and are only having close friends and family for an intimate reception. We intend on having all the details we want for a fraction of the price.
litlone555
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Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?
With 4 months to go I am just handing out $$$$$$$ all over the place. Planning was fun until lately because its not just deposits now its full payments. And there are so many little things you need that I never thought about! It makes me think sometimes that it is just one day that will be over before I know it....is it worth all of this????? I hope it is! I can only say that now I'm rethinking alot of the little things that add up.
If it wasnt for FMIL refusing to fly we might be getting married on a cruise ship, nice and easy and inexpensive!
KandM2006
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Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?
I think about the # of people we're inviting and then realizing that we might not be able to get a house FOR A WHILE to use all the gifts we might receive and it just doesn't make sense!!!
sgusti
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Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?
I totally understand what all of you are saying. I have days that I can't beleive what we are spending on this wedding. I kid around with my FH all of the time to say 'why don't we run away'. I later calm down and know that it will be a special day and our family will be there to support us and the I push forward. I know it my heart that everything will work out and be wonderful.
ker1026
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Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?
I totally agree! It just seems like writing one check after another at this point and praying we make it! We are so tight with our budget we never do anything anymore. We both can't wait until the wedding is over so we have a life again!
akaMrsT
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Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?
Wow. Well, the more research that I do, the closer I get to wanting to elope.
My friend (married for 7 years now) says her wedding was beautiful but she loved renewing her vows on their island honeymoon with just she and her husband a few days after the chaos that was her wedding. She said she did not need the 200+ witnesses to prove anything although at the time of the wedding planning she thought it was the end all and be all to have them all attend.
Granted, her custom made gown was not ready in time and it was pinned into place for the ceremony (which started at least 90 minutes late) so it is not the best experience on which to base this decision.
Gonnacatchapeacock
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Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?
I have been having bad feelings lately too...
I'm having some difficulties finding my next big vendors to 'cross off my list'...
i'm getting stuck and it's not 'clicking' and I'm getting frustruated with all the time I'm spending thinking & researching & stressing.
Some parts are really not enjoyable :9
hmpena
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Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?
I have been stressing about little details lately. I find that all I can do is think about the wedding! But what I find myself focusing on the most is the fact that I am going to be my FI's wife at the end of the day! This is what I want more than anything. I want people to say at the end of the reception that they could see how much we love each other and how amazing it was to be part of this day. Of course I want people to say the food was good, flowers were beautiful, etc. But what really matters to me is getting married to my best friend. I could not imagine anything better!
myasmom
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Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?
I go through this phase too and sorry to say more often than not many brides feel this way..usually after the bliss is gone. I personally have seen small weddings on the beach and sometimes I think they are more romantic than the middle sized wedding we had. But its done and we have left some $$ pictures and video of the day to remind us what we paid for so many mixed emotions.
honeybee
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Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?
i've been feeling exactly the same way with the wedding less than a month away. we've gone way over budget and i know it's what i always dreamed of but still. i don't want to lose sight of whats most important. it is crazy huh?
