Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

Lately I've been thinking about my wedding in a much different way. I keep thinking what a huge waste of money it is! Don't get me wrong, I always wanted a big wedding and I love what I'm planning but it's just SOOOO much money on ONE day.... I feel guilty about spending it and I feel like it's a waste because I've been talking to a bunch of recently marrieds and they all say the same thing:

There's all this build up, all this planning and coordinating, dreaming and fantasizing and then it's over in one day. A few short hours. All the people I've spoken to say it's just a big blur and they barely remember any of it.

Well, hearing this makes me not want to spend another dime on things I or my guests won't even remember! What's the point? It doesn't matter if my flowers are arranged like so, my invites perfectly match the napkins on the tables, the favors go perfectly with the theme, etc etc.

I feel like we should've had a much smaller wedding maybe... I dunno... more like nothing really matters except the fact that we will be married at the end of the day so why bug out over everything and go the extra mile on every little detail....

Another thing is some people say that the little details DO matter and others say don't bother because they DON'T matter!

Anyone else get like this? Not very bride-y of me, I guess.... I kinda just want to get it over with in a sense... it's not that I'm not excited about it... it's just that all those little things don't seem to matter so much anymore.... I just want to pick whatever is easiest and cheapest and get on with it!

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

It is a lot of money on one day, and I OFTEN think about this. But I also know how I will regret it if I don't do it the way I want it. But I have a nice compromise with myself. I never really get to frenzied thinking about the wedding or planning it and we are not going overboard on our vendors for this same reason. We splurged on our reception site, and well, everything else is just more like whatever to us. I think a lot of us feel the same way.

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

Sometimes I get upset on how much money but then it is gone!! I have been dreaming of this day my whole life and I don't want to look back and regret not doing things they way I wanted to. I also have learned not to worry so much about every little detail. I am driving myself crazy and my FI. Don't worry, I think everyone feels like that at least once during the planning

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

I feel exactly the same way! A few months ago I wanted to cancel the whole thing and have a much smaller beach ceremony... but my FH really wanted the big party. I am saving money in every way that I can. For example my first choice for a hall gave me a price of 3 times the amount I am paying now. For the amount of guests I am having and compared to other weddings on here I feel that I did a very good job so far with saving money and so lately I feel better about the whole thing compared to when I first started planning.

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

Oh yeah! I can identify with every word of your post!!
I'm pissed off and burned out. I just want it over already! It's alot of work and planning, it has to get tiring at some point, IMO

Honestly, it is a huge waste of money. But I try to think of it as celebrating a very special moment in my life in a very big way.


I wish I had some advice for you, but I can only say that I can totally relate. I think it's normal though, don't worry. Bug out over the details only if it matters to you, because in the end it only does, honestly. I took me to this point to realize that this day and all these stupid details matter only to me. To everyone else, it's just another wedding (sorry, don't mean to sound harsh).

Hang in there

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

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Posted by wenndypoo

Oh yeah! I can identify with every word of your post!!....
I took me to this point to realize that this day and all these stupid details matter only to me. To everyone else, it's just another wedding (sorry, don't mean to sound harsh).

Hang in there

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Thank GOD I'm not alone!!! Thanks wendypoo!!!

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

i went into the whole wedding thinking like this and that is why i am trying to do the very best not to spend an arm, leg, and part torso .

we are aiming to keep the guest number to ~100. my mom is making all the dresses and centerpieces. the church is an intimate and unique setting. our reception focus will be the food and music, the most important thing for me is to have all our friends and family under one roof at the same time for this one and only day. i don't think of this day as 'my day' or 'our day' i think of it as one big party for everyone...

i get annoyed daily about the $$ factor. one thing that a co-worker said to me that made me feel better, is that really it is not just ONE DAY, but rather a whole transformation process. she told me to enjoy the YEAR of planning as this preparation can be viewed as part of the wedding and a step towards the next chapter of one's life

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

well said september2004...

i totally agree. planning this wedding has been the greatest experience for my fiance and i. we have been enjoying every moment of it. yes, i do get stressed about the money, but i know myself. i know that if i didn't have a wedding and eloped i would regret it...maybe not next year or the year after, but eventually i would.

it is a day that i have dreamed about. it is the beginning of a new life. i am not looking at it as one day. it's everything else too, past, present and future.

just to know that all of our friends and family will be there to enjoy is an awesome feeling for me.

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

i would rather regret DOING it, then NOT DOING it. (you know what i mean... but i don't think i'll regret doing it at all)
so many more people then not say it IS worth it!!! (just keep telling myself and FH that! )

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

When I almost called off the wedding to do a destination wedding.. fh totally put his foot down.. sometimes we forget that while we are the ones that dreamed of this our whole lives it his his day to and my fh has been looking forward to this day for so long!! He made me realize how important this was not just to me but to him.

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

Thanks for posting this topic. I think it is something most brides go through and it is a relief to know that so many people have the same worries and concerns. I try to look at it this way......at the end of the day it really is just $$$$. A little more or a little less a few years from now will make no difference. But having no regrets and knowing you had that special day the way you wanted (whether it is a party of 300 or dinner for 30) will stay with you FOREVER!! So try not to let it get you down too much!

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

Hi JimmysBride - Very interesting thoughts --

I never had a wedding & always dreamed of a big one. The cost is staggering, but it something i have wanted.

I also have 'wedding' on my mind almost 24/7 (why i am glad i found this board to sound off every once in a while

What helps is that i have tried to cut cost where it was not that important to me - ie flowers, - i w/b using slik, less expensie
all round and in some places i wont bend
like wedding rings

Overall i have been enjoying the planning, as it as new experience - but i too wonder if AFTER the wedding - when there is no more planning - will i have withdrawls???

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

WELL PUT !!!!!!!!!!

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

heard that..........the frustration of other people contributes also..........

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

Its reassuring to know that we all go through this from time to time .. I think about it constantly.

I had an especially bad week this past 7 days ..I've been rethinking EVERYTHING when it comes to the wedding .. and wondering if we were totally crazy to be spending all the $$ (and all the stress and aggravation to make everyone happy) . I was just miserable and just kept telling FH we should scratch the whole idea and just get married on our cruise (the HM) and forget all these silly plans

Then FH did something shocking: he sat me down, looked me straight in the eye and said ' I want this wedding more than you think...I want all traditional corny stuff that might seem silly but will mean a lot to us.. but mostly I want to proclaim my love for you before our families and friends. I know it'll be worth every penny we spent when I get to see you in your beautiful gown, walking down the aisle towards me, about to become my wife This is OUR dream, not just yours!!'

[awwwwwwwwwwwwwww...]


Talk about shocked, was I ever!!! This coming from a guy who is hardly interested his stuff most days. You can imagine how I started bawling when he said all this sweet stuff! LOL

So ya see, everytime I get down and think about the $$ too often, I remember that even though it will last only a day, we'll have these memories for the rest of our lives .. and THAT is why I'm doing it.

(OK . remind me I said all this tomorrow when I start flipping out again!!) LOL

Re: Feeling different about my wedding lately.... anyone else think like this sometimes?

awww felicia how cute!!!! Im gunna save this post for when you flip out next month!!!!