Feeling Kind of Down

Lately I have been feeling like my wedding is more of a hassel than fun anymore. This is in large part to my dad bumping my guest list from 185 people to 284 people and then telling me he is not paying for the whole reception like planned, but now will only be contributing $10,000, and the rest I will have to pay back. That covers about 96 people at my hall.

I know I'm lucky that my parent's are even contributing at all, but I still think it is extremely unfair that he forced me to invite all of his cousins (some of whom I wouldn't recognize if I ran into them on the street) and now is saying he's not paying for them.

I also found out accidentally that my shower is on the same day as my friend's engagement party. I'm kind of upset about this. I don't often have one day where I'm the center of attention, and I'm the one everyone is there for, and I figured my shower would be it. Now I have to share the day. I know this sounds very 'spoiled brat' of me, but I can't help but feel this way.

I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in weeks because I'm up all the time worrying about things, if they will get done, if one person will ruin it, etc.

I know at the end of the day I'm going to have a really great wedding and be married to the best guy in the world, but it seems like so much work for one event.

I still have so much to do, but these feelings and recent happenings are making me have no desire to do them.

Is anyone else feeling this way?

Feeling Kind of Down

You definitely have legitimate reasons to feel the way you feel. I completely understand. I think you really need to speak with your dad. He is being unreasonable. If he wants to invite that many people, it's fine...but he needs to pay for them. It's not right to obligate you to that money. Does he want you to start your married life in debt? Have an open discussion with him.

I completely understand that you're upset about your shower being on the same day as your friend's engagement. They're not at the same place together, are they? Take into account that everyone who is at your shower WILL be there for you. It's your time, and you will be the star of the show.

I have found that an important part of enjoying this process is learning how to be open and honest with people, and being comfortable in your own skin with the decisions you make. You deserve to have your moment, and it's perfectly okay to express that.

Feeling Kind of Down

parents cousins are definitely a source of conflict for us too--- my mom has one that is like a brother... but i'm not inviting his other 5 siblings! then she has another that I am actually close with (they live by me) so they are totally on the list... do her 2 siblings need to be invited....

Feeling Kind of Down

You definately deserve to have a day to your self. It is frustrating since it will be a long day and you want to enjoy both parties. At least you know the date and can get over some of the disappointment.
As for your dad, it stinks that he added people and changed his mind after you sent invitiations. I will keep my fingers crossed that most say NO.

Feeling Kind of Down

Thanks for the kind words. It helps to get it all out here where none of them will be seeing it. I will talk to my dad, and He offered to give me bonds that my grandfather gave me when I was younger, and I'm going to tell him instead of doing that to put them towards the reception.

In regards to the cousins, some of them I really like and am looking forward to them being there because they are a lot of fun. Others I don't even recognnize their names when I had the list for invitations. One of their invitations came back and FH asked who they were and I had no idea.

Re: Feeling Kind of Down

So sorry that you're feeling down ... I hope things get better for you. And yes, remember at the end of the day your wedding WILL be beautiful and you will get to marry the man of your dreams!

Re: Feeling Kind of Down

Sending tons of hugs your way

You are going to have such an amazing wedding. You have an amazing guy, an amazing venue, and tons of amazing personal touches that are just perfect. Keep your head up girl friend you are doing a fabulous job and we are coming down the home stretch! Soon enough you'll be dancing up a storm with your hubby and then soaking up the sun from your cruise ship! So much awesome stuff to look forward to, just keep on truckin!

Feeling Kind of Down

So sorry to hear this! I'm having a similar situation on its thw FH's unnecessary family members with barely any contribution on their part. I cant imagine the stress because I just started and youre coming into the home stretch! Just keep your head up and try to look forwarto the good stuff! Itll be over so fast!! Hugs!!

Feeling Kind of Down

Thanks so much girls, You all are so nice!

Feeling Kind of Down

I totally feel your frustrations! I've moments of 'I'm totally over this!' as well. Family and guest lists are a nightmare! When we were planning our e-party I had FH tell me that some of my parent's closest friends (people I've grown up with coming to my house every weekend) aren't 'legitimate family' and shouldn't be invited but his father's cousins who I've never been formally introduced to in the five years we've been together MUST be invited. UGH!I agree with KroertGS. Planning becomes less frustrating when you can be honest about your feelings, at least with you FH. I have found that talking through what is bugging me with my FH and friends makes me less likely to blow up at family and it helps me think through what I want to say before I just blurt something out and sound 'bratty' or like a bumbling idiot. Your day will be amazing! But put things into perspective, it's not worth months of misery to have one amazing day. If/when you feel frustrated or overwhelmed, walk away for a bit, put the planning binder away and do something absolutely NOT wedding related. Good luck with the rest of your planning. Hopefully things will get better.